Divine Wryte Creations

Parenthood Experience!

2011-12-19T18:15:00.000-05:00

This is what I've learned and continue to find out as a new parent! Enjoy!

The best gifts are necessities! Christmas is coming! So it's great to get cute stuff but try and get the necessary items covered! We just had to buy diapers for the first time last month when Jordan turned 3 months old! Diapers are costly! Wipes and other essentials are great and gift cards to help are outstanding!

Network with other parents! I have friends that have given me clothes, toys, vibrating chairs, swings, etc for Jordan! They passed it on since their kids are bigger now!

Create a Mommy/Daddy swap! Some things I have are on "loan" because that family wants more kids and until they have them they loaned us stuff (swing, bassinet, vibrating chair)! Saved us a lot of $!

Don't buy every new gadget that's on the market! I love Babies R Us but that store can suck you in! There are gadgets I even had on my baby registry that I took off (thanks to some great friends)! Like pacifier wipes, a wipe warmer, the car wipe warmer, the baby bathtub with shower head/jacuzzi mechanism which is shown above)! Need I say more!

Don't listen to everyone! MY GOD! People had some serious opinions during my pregnancy! Listen to some advice but don't get overwhelmed (its very easy to get irritated with the amount of advice you will receive)!

Its okay to politely tell people to please mind their business. Also its fine to tell people to not touch your belly if you're pregnant. I had strangers who wanted to touch my belly! No...back off!

Don't buy a lot of newborn stuff! Your child might not even fit it and if they do it will be a very short period.

You're not eating for (2)! You can eat healthy while carrying your baby but if you want the baby weight to fall off afterwards please do yourself and the baby a favor and watch what you put into your body while you're preggers!

Your doctor/pediatrician is your friend. At least mine was/are! I told my OB about all the lovely comments and advice I was receiving. He humorously said, "You can ask me anything...that's what I get paid the big bucks to do." Lol. But seriously, have a good relationship with them and ask questions.

Once the baby is here, go out! Don't become a hermit. You want your child to be exposed to the world. I'm not saying go to a rock concert. But get out. Go shopping, a new mom's/dad's group, visit friends, family, etc.

Please start buying bigger clothes (going back to buying a bunch of new born clothes)...plan outward and diversify their wardrobe with all sizes.

Accept help! If a friend says, "I'll come over so you can take a nap, wash clothes, go for a walk/run, etc and I'll watch the baby." Then you should answer with, "Yes! Please come by!"

Did I say don't get caught up in buying all the latest gadgets lol!

Wanna make a profit while making space? Then put the baby things on Craigslist or they even now have markets where parents can set tables up and sell stuff. Some parents know they aren't having any more children. So why hang onto everything. Make room and money (you can start your kids savings account this way too)!

Review ratings of products! Very important!

I wrote this to help out expecting/new parents and hope other parents can add to it! Now my son is only 4 months old and I've experienced all of this! Imagine 4 months down the line. Enjoy parenthood!

Getting Ready for the New!!!!

2011-12-12T10:00:00.011-05:00

I went to Reid Temple AME in Glenn Arden, MD on Sunday, November 13th to witness a dear sista friend of mine son get baptized. I was intrigued with the sermon and it came to me at such a delicate time of my life.

The pastor spoke about bringing old things into the new. There are some old things you can bring with you into new places. The old things that "work" and then there are those things that should have been left behind.

Friendships, grudges, emotions of a love gone wrong or feelings for someone who doesn't appreciate you are examples of what he spoke about. He used the perfect metaphor which I thought was funny at first and then when he brought it home everyone stood to their feet.

He collects old hotel keys (lol). The plastic ones. His wife hates that he does that! He said he went into a city to preach and pulled out an old key by accident to open the door. Of course the door wouldn't open he tried again and realized he pulled out the old key to open up a new door!

This made perfect sense! Too many times people bring old stuff into a new opportunity that God grants you and yet they don't understand why it isn't working.

Today I need to start sifting through some of my own old things. Although it might hurt to sweep out these old things...I have to because I'm going to block God's blessing and new opportunities if I don't get it together.

Some of us are given opportunities right in our face (God might bless you with a mate that's right for you) and because you're so hung up on "old things" you miss the new opportunity. The pastor left us with this, "Don't let God see that you under appreciate your new opportunity whether it be a mate, work, finances, etc. He can take it away and you may never get that opportunity again."

Think about what you keep dragging around, any new opportunities you're letting slip away and begin the work. Its not easy (I know) but its necessary.

Love of My Life

2011-11-29T10:34:00.000-05:00

Dedicated to the love of my life...

Your smile and tender touch
Brings tears to my eyes on a daily
I've been through storms that not even the average person should have survived
All of my storms lead to blessings and sun shine
Never have I experienced a love like this before
From your beautiful bright eyes
To a smile that's a mile wide
Even when my days are grey
I look at you and my spirit is renewed
God blessed me with an angel
My first born
Willing to do
All I can as your mother
To the little man in my life
Jordan Oladele...I love you
Grandma Sauti was right...she sent you to us as she promised
I have so many plans and dreams that were deferred
Now my dreams will be ours
And we'll even create new ones!
Thank you son for choosing me as your mother

May our lives be long together

Written By:

Serena Wills

Copyright (c) 2011

My Life as a Mother

2011-11-13T17:11:00.000-05:00

Its been a long time since posting to my blog. Between the tail end of my pregnancy being full of unpacking my new apartment, getting ready for the newest addition to the world and then giving birth I've been busy. My life has changed since Jordan was born 3 months ago...but for the better. Every time I tried to write about my life and motherhood I became stuck. Almost speechless because there aren't enough words to describe how I feel.

What helped me to get unstuck in regards to my writing was watching how short life can be. My family has lost a couple of family members and our community has lost legends. I thought to myself, what if my time was up? My son would have no recollection in writing about how I feel as a mother. So here we go...

Dearest Jordan,

You're the sunshine of my life! I never knew I could love like this until I held you for the first time in my arms. I didn't want to let go of you and when I looked into your eyes I knew there was a God! Now don't get me wrong...I know God is real. But having you confirmed that God can make people love again, He can also show adults like me that love truly exists! After your Grandma Sauti passed away I crawled into a shell...I was at a loss. I didn't think I could love again or open up because I was (and still am) hurt that she had to leave us. Then I reconnected with your father and then came you.

I loved being pregnant with you and now that you're here I love leaning over the crib to say "Good Morning" and in return I get a huge smile!

I pray to God that we have a long life together! There are so many things to show you, dreams I have, stories to tell you and things to experience through the eyes of being your mother. You're so special to me and quite a few people. You're even blessed to have (3) living great grandparents!

We're going to have fun together between taking you to African dance class (I danced with you for 8 months of my pregnancy) to running (you're already practicing with those active feet)! I want you to have a life greater than me and your father's put together! I want you to see the world with those huge eyes of yours!

Loving you is a treasure! Jordan I thank you because one of my life long dreams was to become a mother and now I have you. I love you so much.

Writing Hiatus

2011-07-19T14:55:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I wrote on my blog. Life has gone in so many different directions this year and I feel as if I have a lot to say but it's all cluttered in my brain. Being pregnant has been such a blessing and I know once my beautiful son enters this world he will give me even more inspiration to write.

I also feel as if God is telling me that I have so much written that it's time to start birthing all of it by publishing my books. He always makes a way and although money is super tight with us preparing for little one I know somehow...someway...God will provide a way for me to finally birth my books. I've learned to not listen to everyone this year. Everyone has an opinion...and I mean everyone. One person went as far to tell me I might as well put my books and dreams on the back burner until next year or so because I can't be a new mother and keep pursuing my writing career. Some of you might be shaking your heads, but my pregnancy has shed a lot and I mean a lot of light. I just pray and meditate and whatever God wants me to do I will do it and shut out all negative energy and put it into my internal neglect file (start one...you'll have so much peace once you realize you can't take in or listen to everyone). The one thing I am hearing from Him is to not defer my dreams and to continue to love. If anything make my son a part of my dreams (he'll like the fun ride we will take together on this journey).

Stay tuned for what's next in my journey called life. So far this year has been a true blessing. After losing my sister Ayana in 2007, Mom in 2010 God said its enough and I need to receive abundant blessings. Regardless of what people may think...it's my time to shine.

Sometimes when there is silence after you pray, don't fret. God is working on something bigger and better for you. Silence is powerful. I know I will get clear direction as to what to do in regards to my writing and finding resources soon. He always comes right...on...time.

God bless and have a fantastic week, month and summer.

Few copies left of "Keeping the Faith Anthology" Support Me By Buying a Copy Today!

2011-06-09T12:47:00.000-04:00

One of the best things I've heard after reading an excerpt of my story at an open mic or event is, "Thank you for being transparent and allowing others to be inspired!" I still have copies left of Keeping the Faith Edited By Essence Magazine Best Seller Vanessa Miller! It's been great sharing the story about my mother titled, "Listening Ear." The book is available and on sale right here on my website!

Buy your copy by going to the left hand column and click below the book cover, choose how many books and you will be directed to a secure PayPal website. Also if you live in the DMV area (DC/MD/VA) I will arrange to bring copies directly to you!

Here’s a snippet of the true story about my mother’s battle of Ovarian Cancer.

Looking back I think Nana knew something. There was an unusual nervousness in her voice when she asked, “Is everything okay? Can she come home yet?”

Not wanting my grandmother to know the full weight of the situation, I looked her in the eye and said, “I’m going to see and will let you know.”

I jumped into a cab and went to Jamaica Hospital which was ten minutes away. I imagined the room to be dark and filled with demons meeting me at the door. When I walked into the room, I saw my mother resting peacefully. I kissed her on the cheek and she woke up smiling. The next few hours we talked about life. She held my hand and gave me firm instructions on her final arrangements. Towards the end of the conversation I said, “Ma, we’re going to beat this! I need you to believe me. Why do we have to talk about this?”

She smiled and said, “Serena, I’m so thankful and I wanted you to know that. Because, if I die, I don’t want anything to be left unsaid.”
Puzzled I said, “Come again?”

Mom said, “I’m so grateful. I have you, Christina, family and friends. I’m glad I had a chance to adopt Ayana and care for her before she died two years ago.”

Here my mother was sick with the most advanced stage of cancer and she could still say how grateful she was. That night she taught me something in that dank hospital room. No matter how bad the situation seems or how deep the waters are, I should open up my mouth and say, “Lord I Thank You for what I have.”

Please support me and purchase a copy or two or more. I can even make arrangements to meet you so you can buy the book. I will only hold books for 1 business week only. Spread the word and purchase your copy today! Peace and blessings!

Mark Your Calendar! I'm One of the Featured Artists Performing at, "Words, Images, Movement and Sound!"

2011-05-16T17:21:00.000-04:00

Blessings to everyone! I will be one of the featured artists at the Baltimore County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc event titled, "Words, Images, Movement and Sound." Come out Sunday, May 22, 2011 from 3-5pm. Located at The Randallstown Community Center, 3505 Resource Drive, Randallstown, MD 21133. I will be reading an excerpt of my most recent published story titled, "Listening Ear" which is in "Keeping the Faith anthology" and some poetry. I will have framed poetry and books for sale. Come out and enjoy this FREE event dedicated to the arts!

Do your part and support the arts! Peace and love!

White Candles

2011-05-05T19:44:00.000-04:00

Mom African Dancing in 1979

Second Mother's Day without my sweet mother and I'm surviving. One day at a time and sometimes one moment. Let peace enter your heart and begin to heal as I've done. It's so hard, but I'm getting there and for those out there that have lost their sweet mothers or other women in their lives...let the healing begin. Pull out old pictures, laugh at the sweet memories shared and smile because you had a loving mother. May peace be with you.

White Candles

White candles burn

Sweet aroma throughout my house

Vanilla, gardenia, jasmine and white rose

Cleansing as it leaves a calm that was lost months ago

Glow from the flame gives my spirit light

Ancestor’s are lifted

Flickering in the still of the night

Crackling sounds of the wick is all I hear through the dark

White candles give me peace and hope like a dove that flies through the sky

On my knees praying as I place white flowers next to the smiling faces in pictures of those lost

Remembering them through the gift of light of my burning candles

I soon reminisce about lessons learned

Mother taught me to never yearn for the dead

She said instead light beautiful white candles

Talk to those gone and they will be your listening ear

She also told me, “When I’m gone I’ll always be near to hear and guide you.”

I believe her and know that the light is shining through me as it burns

Symbolizing purity and peace

Something I never thought I would feel again or at least

For a long time to come

Simple things have helped me grieve

Although you had to leave

I will always talk to you day and night

Promising to you that one day I’ll feel joy

Calmness is building inside me

And one day…I’ll even feel as bright as the color white

My passion will be on fire again like the wick that burns

I promise you…one day…I’ll feel like those white candles

Written By: Serena T. Wills

Dedicated to My Sweet Mother Marguerite "Sauti" Wills May You Rest In Peace

On this Mother's Day This is Also Dedicated to All the Grandmothers, Mothers, Aunts and Women That Have Passed Away and Touched Our Lives. We Love and Miss You!

Mother's Day Special! Receive a Free Laminated 8x10 Poem with Book Purchase!

2011-04-27T21:51:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone and blessings to you! Thank you to everyone that has supported and purchased a copy of the anthology I'm published in titled, "Keeping the Faith." I've gotten great reviews about my story from readers that have purchased and already read the book!

Here's what children's author Kelly Starling-Lyons had to say, "I was so moved by your essay. What a beautiful testimony. Proud of you, Serena. Keep celebrating your mom's life. Love that the meaning of Sauti is voice. Thank you for sharing your voice and memory with us."

“Keeping the Faith” is edited by Vanessa Miller. She’s an author and Essence Magazine Best Seller!

My story is titled, “Listening Ear.” I have a snippet below in the last posting. You can also purchase a copy online and I promise to sign it and send off to you. Prices include shipping charges.

I'm offering a special deal for Mother's Day! All orders placed before or on May 5th will receive an 8x10 Laminated Poem titled, "Abundant Love." Abundant Love is written for all mothers. This is a $10 value and I'm offering it free with the purchase of a book. Here is a snippet of the poem below:

Abundant Love

Her touch and embrace
As she wiped the tears from my face
Holding me tightly whispering, “It’s going to be okay”
Cleaning the dirt away from my scars
I remember those days
When Mama would make everything feel like brand new
Between cuts, scrapes, bruises on my skin from falling on my knees yet again
Mom has a tender touch as she told me to hold on tight
The sudden burn disappeared as Bactine was sprayed on my wound
In between sobs saying, thank you Mommy
Always wiping away the pain whether it was a scrape on my elbow
Or another love that didn’t go
In the direction that I thought it would be
Times when I couldn’t understand what was happening to me
Laughing now cause I was going through mere puberty
Causing her drama
But all mama could say was
Everything is going to be okay
Mothers have a way with words like no other
To this day I’m amazed of your strength and often wonder
How did we make it through...

If you live in the DMV (DC/MD/VA area) I can also drop a copy or two or how many you want to you directly. They are $10.00 each.

Remember this offer is only good until May 5th, 2011. Buy your copy and get a free poem today! Thank you in advance for your support!!!!!

I'm a Contributing Author in Keeping the Faith Anthology Now On Sale!

2011-03-16T15:54:00.000-04:00

    GREAT NEWS! I’m a contributing author in the Keeping the Faith anthology by Vanessa Miller is Available and On Sale right here on my website! Buy your copy by going to the left hand column and click below the book cover, choose how many books and you will be directed to a secure PayPal website.

    I have a special for organizations, schools, clubs, fraternities, sororities, etc that buy 10 or more books (free shipping and 1 free book included in the shipping). Shipping charges are included in the price for other quantities. I have a limited quantity so act fast.

    The piece I published in this very moving book is titled, “Listening Ear.” Here’s a snippet of the true story about my mother’s battle of Ovarian Cancer.

    Looking back I think Nana knew something. There was an unusual nervousness in her voice when she asked, “Is everything okay? Can she come home yet?”
    Not wanting my grandmother to know the full weight of the situation, I looked her in the eye and said, “I’m going to see and will let you know.”

    I jumped into a cab and went to Jamaica Hospital which was ten minutes away. I imagined the room to be dark and filled with demons meeting me at the door. When I walked into the room, I saw my mother resting peacefully. I kissed her on the cheek and she woke up smiling. The next few hours we talked about life. She held my hand and gave me firm instructions on her final arrangements. Towards the end of the conversation I said, “Ma, we’re going to beat this! I need you to believe me. Why do we have to talk about this?”

    She smiled and said, “Serena, I’m so thankful and I wanted you to know that. Because, if I die, I don’t want anything to be left unsaid.”

    Puzzled I said, “Come again?”

    Mom said, “I’m so grateful. I have you, Christina, family and friends. I’m glad I had a chance to adopt Ayana and care for her before she died two years ago.”

    Here my mother was sick with the most advanced stage of cancer and she could still say how grateful she was. That night she taught me something in that dank hospital room. No matter how bad the situation seems or how deep the waters are, I should open up my mouth and say, “Lord I Thank You for what I have.”

    Please support me and purchase a copy or two or more. I can even make arrangements to meet you so you can buy the book. I will only hold books for 1 business week and after that I must release them (nothing personal…its business)

    Please spread the word and purchase your copy today! Peace and blessings!

Musical Dedication to my father Wendell Hayes (RIP)

2011-03-04T00:00:00.002-05:00

Wendell Hayes on Right with His Birdhouse

For those who don't know the story, I never knew my father physically but always heard the stories about how my physique is like his (tall glass of water they called him), long strides as if we aren't in a hurry, fuzzy eyebrows, lots of hair, even at times my attitude is compared to his, etc...

His love for music runs in my veins and today on March 4th, marks 11 years that he left this world physically. I know him through my spirit, through the stories from my sister Shavonn, her mother Patricia, cousins, Uncle Bill, my Aunt Regina and a slew of his friends such as Baba Yomi, Bradley, Craig, Arthur and others. He was a great drummer and although he was known for his African drumming I heard through the grapevine that my Dad loved Afro Cuban music. Funny thing is I love Afro Cuban too and always did.

I salute you Wendell R. Hayes. God had a plan and although I never met you I'm glad I united with my "Hayes" family 11 years ago and know you're a father to me from above. May you play your drums in heaven. Peace and love and enjoy the musical journey...

We Shall Meet Again

2011-02-18T09:32:00.000-05:00

Mommy African Dancing at Chief Bey's Tribute 1979

A co worker gave me a prayer book last year right after Mommy passed away. Out of all of the prayers this one stuck out to me and it read:

May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm on your face
The rain fall softly on your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

Irish Blessing...Author Unknown

This blessing/prayer sits on my dresser and I read it from time to time reminding me that although we lost my mother Marguerite "Sauti" Wills a year ago on February 19th, 2010 to Ovarian cancer that she is in heaven and prayed this prayer for myself, family and loved ones she left behind.

I can't believe a year has gone by and one of my mother's good friends from Philadelphia told me in April 2010 for me to get ready because Sauti is about to rearrange your life in such a way. She now has the power to bless her family divinely and doesn't want to see you struggle any more.

I respect this man's opinion as he is a very spiritual brother and since Mom has transitioned to being an ancestor, my life every month, every day, every hour, every second is being rearranged for the better. Although she is gone I feel her every day and I know she is with me and will never leave my side nor my family. Even friends have felt her presence.

I've been through quite a few trials and tribulations since her death but towards the end of 2010 I felt them break. I've been blessed and they just keep coming. I feel my strength returning and my passions growing. I had to clean house because some people just couldn't walk the same path or journey with me. Although it hurt...it hurt me more to know how people can only be there when the sun is shining and not when the storm has hit. It's hurtful even when people are there in your life and they try to turn it even more upside down but yet they claim they are there for you. Although scary, I had to clean house and my path has been a bit straighter since. I learned all of this through the wisdom and love of my mother. She taught to take risks and she left me with the words of, "I want you to be happy."

To my sweet Iya Sauti, I miss you more then I can ever explain. I can write poems, articles and books about you and it still wouldn't say enough. Losing you has left a void in my heart that no one can fill but somehow you taught me that although a heart can be heavy that there is still room for love and to love and live life to the fullest. Grieving won't last always but missing you will. Ase to you...ase, ase, ase.

(Ase *Ah-shay* in the West African culture is said when we give thanks and praise our ancestors).

May peace be with each of you on this day.

His Voice

2011-02-03T08:54:00.000-05:00

Father with Daughter (my good friend Will and daughter Siena) photo by Delilah Whisenhunt

I had to bring this poem back. It's almost 2 years old but as of lately I've seen a lot of my brothers going above and beyond to care for their families and they are an inspiration to me. The love they have for others is very real...I thank you for being an inspiration.

His Voice

Dedicated to the true man…

Intellectual

Harmonious

Melody

Depicts a man’s strong voice

Who isn’t afraid to think

Encourage

And motivate your whole thought process

Mover and shaker

Building a foundation for his family

Spiritual leader and the healer for his wife

Partner in someone’s wildest dreams

Intervenes when he needs

Peace and unity in his circle and life

This goes out to the true man

Hardcore worker

Back breaker

Peacemaker

Lover

One who fills my soul with his mere intellect

He turns my spirit on in such a way

When he gets down on his knees and simply prays

Honest and truthful

God’s divine model

Of what a true man possesses

Aware of his Creator and who’s really in charge

Father to his kids and sometimes others

Beautiful son to his mother and elders

Embraces his culture

Open mindedness to what life has to offer

Doesn’t mess around or toys with anyone’s feelings

Man of God, truth and justice

True King in my eyes

As he walks with no fear to protect his community

Leaving me to simply love thee

This goes out to the true man

Not everyone can raise their hand

And fill his shoes

He’s no one’s boy

Done with those days of playing

Bending down on his knees

Praying for the little boys in the streets to grow up

Taking their place in society

Voicing concern to those who think they’re real men

But they aren’t as he strives to inspire

All those he touches

Knowing his passions and calling

This is dedicated to the true and worthy men…

Peace and Love,

Serena T. Wills

Written March 7, 2009

Awakening

2011-01-10T21:12:00.000-05:00

I wrote this piece last year right after Mom's passing as I knew one day my spirit would be awakened again. Speaking with those who have survived an illness, emotional breakdowns, love gone wrong...whatever the case was, they were finally awakened and renewed. Read, feel, love, enjoy...

Awakening

Fresh grass growing beneath my feet

Flowers blooming

Morning dew tickling me

Cherry blossoms in their fullness

Awake from a hard winter

Animals once again mate

Out from hibernation

I’ve been trapped too long

Yearning to escape like the flying birds above me

Soaring high as the clouds

Spring breeze swirling

Life awakened

Honey bees buzzing

Ladybugs crawling

Symbols of life after the storm

Welcoming the new season

Feeling refreshed and renewed as these creatures

Mother nature

Calling me personally

Life changes like seasons

Greet the warmth as these are the good times

Cold no more

Dawn arose on my side today

Waking up on the right side of the bed

Sun shining in my face

Open up my window

Hearing the children laughing and playing

Closing the chapters from before

Spoke of doom, gloom and the blues

Time for a new start

Evolution of me

Opening my mind to something new

Not borrowed or blue

I want a love for my own

Past defeat is gone

Being able to celebrate the lives of those gone

Awakened life

Even physically

Stand straighter

Chest out

Head up

Pep in my step

Laughing a little louder

Blame the awakening

Instilled finally

In the depths of my mind, body and soul

Alive

Conscious of my path ahead

Anxiously awaiting

Next steps

I can live again…awakened

Copyright 2010 by Serena Wills

All Rights are Reserved

Atlas Performing Arts Center Holiday Fest and Market

2010-12-13T22:25:00.001-05:00

Framed Poetry Collection

I will be amongst many vendors as we sell creative gifts and items for the holidays this Saturday December 18 and Sunday December 19 from 2-8pm. I will sell my framed poetry line and have a variety of poems that are endearing, inspiring, spiritual, passionate and naturally creative. My frames range from $10-$40 and I sell 4x6 all the way to 16x20. Come out and support! You can shop and check out framed poetry as well on my website on the left side. Thanks again and see you this weekend!

Early Relationships for Teens/Young Adults: When Desire Leads to Danger

2010-11-16T16:33:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone! As you know I'm an advocate for GYN cancers and women's health. Matt Phillips that is a reader of my blog offered to guest blog. He's a young professional who has found his voice in advocating for women's health. He's currently enrolled at the University of Central Florida, enjoys writing and voicing his opinion on women's health and other issues. Please show him some love.

Early Relationships for Teens/Young Adults: When Desire Leads to Danger by Matt Phillips

Love happens quickly for teens and young adults. Suddenly that special person becomes their reason to floss at night and eat healthier. Young couples even allow drastic changes to take over their lives. They often feel pressured to take actions because of an overwhelming desire to act mature. However, it’s dangerous to let these compromises take hold because these patterns can become the norm in a relationship and hard to break. Young adults often make hasty choices to initially satisfy their partner, not knowing these actions set the tone for the rest of the relationship.

Physical intimacy is where so many young couples get themselves in trouble. Women are usually in the position to compromise the most. Often out of low self-esteem and peer pressure, young women will succumb to their partner and give in to demands they might not be comfortable without contraception or protection.

Unfortunately, not all contraceptive choices are safe for women. Sex for these couples, especially at the early stage, is often about selfish satisfaction, and men are often willing to let their partner utilize any drug possible that will facilitate this early intimacy. An emotional bond and concern for each other’s well-being is simply absent at this stage. Unfortunately, this pressure to use unsafe forms of contraception can have serious, even fatal side effects.

Sadly, sex education in this country doesn’t do enough and rarely teaches teens about responsible physical relationships. The U.S. government’s funding goes towards abstinence-focused education; the entire teen population still engaging in sex is disregarded. This abstinence education is almost useless to these teens, as it fails to address questions and concerns they might have. Proponents of this education feel that open discussion of birth control and safe sex would legitimize the physical act. Instead, they feel more comfortable not addressing statistics, like the ever-growing rise in teen sexuality.

According to this legislation, programs receiving this funding which was extended by 5 years must "teach that abstinence from sexual activity is the only certain way to avoid out-of-wedlock pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and other associated health problems," the Department of Health and Human Services explains. However, opponents to this legislation promoting evidence-based sex education are concerned that $250 million is going to state programs that haven’t shown effectiveness.

While attempting to provide teens with the safest, most useful information, it actually might prompt more negative results associated with sex than good. With the government renewing its abstinence-focused education programs this year, unbiased information for teens still choosing to be sexually active might be absent in schools. However, this lack of information about adult sexuality is best exemplified in the most vital areas of discussion such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. While pregnancy rates in this country have decreased in the last few years, the spread of sexually transmitted disease hasn’t. Many birth control methods, while relatively effective at preventing pregnancy, can falsely imply complete protection to all outcomes of casual sex, including sexually transmitted disease.

Instead of responsible institutions, companies out for profit have largely replaced sex education for teens, pandering to the sexually active through various forms of media. It appears these companies have found a solid market too, embracing that portion of the teen population turned away by federal legislation.

Oral contraceptive companies, especially, have been recognized as feeders of unreliable and dangerous information to teens and young women. Misconceptions about oral contraceptives are easily understood after examining the marketing done for these products. Despite these revelations about this drug manufacturer’s credibility, by far the worst side effect of this drug is the serious physical results it has on women. These hormone-altering pills lead to permanent side effects, like the possibility of infertility. An example of one is the growing number of complaints against oral contraceptives, exemplified by pending Yaz lawsuits, indicates that the short-term safety of such birth control options is far from guaranteed. Users of this particular product have seen serious, and sometimes fatal, side effects including heart attack, stroke, blood clots, pulmonary embolisms, and gallbladder disease. However, because schools either refuse to recognize or are anything but abstinence as a legitimate lifestyle, these facts are never discussed with teens.

With so little being done to educate teens and young people about responsible sexuality, it rests with parents and other role models to provide responsible lifestyle information. Emotional attachment, especially early in relationships, can lead to dangerous compromises with lasting results. However, the sooner we take the lead as role models and address those teens that need attention the most, the quicker we’ll see the resolution of dangerous national trends, like sexually transmitted disease infection and dangerous contraceptive use. Then we can let young people discover the beauty and joy of love in the safest way possible.

Let Freedom Rain

2010-11-08T12:41:00.000-05:00

This is a piece I wrote on election night 2008. A client of mine has a 16x20 frame of this piece hanging up in her foyer to keep her inspired. Be blessed and let's stand behind our President!

Let Freedom Rain

History is HIS-STORY

God’s breath that created everything we see

Obama said you want to be on the right side of history

And be a leader by showing your people what you’ve built and not what you can destroy

Dr. King said he wants his children to live in a country

Where they are judged on the content of their character and not the complexion of their skin

Now is the time for change

No more time for affliction nor pain

Hatred has overcome our world

Blanketing miles of cities, states and nations

Time to take action

Grasping our heritage

And what love is left

Are we going to lead our children into a life of mass destruction?

Or step back and start the process of reconstruction

We have too many foes called

Demoralization, racism, classism

All alive and known to well

Babies are having babies

Dropping out of school

Unemployment lines wrapped around the corner

People were given pink slips and given the boot like they were somebody’s fool

What are we to do?

Take back our children

Learn a new trade

Start a new business, fulfill your dreams and not let them fade away

March with our fists raised in the air

Demonstrating to those worldwide that we do care

Revitalize our neighborhoods

Take the broken rocks and pebbles that represent what we’ve been through to rebuild

Our communities

Reestablish dignity

Everlasting fight for freedom

Let it rain…let freedom rain

Of debt collectors, bad financial decisions and savings down to zero

Let the rain wash all of that away as we reeducate ourselves to do better

Smoothing out the path for future generations

Rain pour on us to unite what was once divided

Nations in this together and not against one another

Free from those slave masters currently wanting to see us in fear

Terror

Torrential down pour as I watch the tsunami take place in my life

Instead of it doing damage

It has left my self esteem, internal being pure and whole

Freedom has rained on us

New leader, new vision in sight

I can see now…following his footsteps

As he is following those who came before him

The Martins, Malcolm’s, Medgar’s, Shirley’s, Harriets and all

Pour on me a freedom

An experience that I have never imagined

Freedom rain….on me

Written By

Serena T. Wills

Copyright Serena Wills 2008

Always There

2010-11-01T13:02:00.000-04:00

Dedicated to Apa and Alexis Garay! Your union this weekend inspired me and as you both were doing the toast I wrote this piece at the wedding reception (gotta love technology). Alexis baby you did it...I've known you since I was in 4th grade and we were riding on the "Russ Bus" to our after school program to take swim classes! I'm so happy for you and may our friendship continue to flourish throughout the years. May God bless the both of you!

Always There
Waiting in the wings
Humming bird singing
Praises that I reconnected with you
Days, months and years have gone by
And I won't lie
As I tell you that I've had my eye
On what I saw as my future
Baby I would have had it no other way
As we lay
In unison tonight
I've been your future for years
Have even shed happy tears
Thinking of the night we would unite in holy matrimony
Being my inspiration
Memories glistening
Remembering our long past
God has granted permission for us to last

Many years to come

Prayers, answers and clarity have come along

Visions of you is that picture perfect song

Always there

To bare all that I've been through

You've been my friend since the days of school

Through ups and downs

The bad and the good

Knowing deep in my heart we would

Become one

I will always be there

Not a fair weather friend

I'm the divine partner God designed that will be with you until the end

Love as pure as a birds flight in the clear sky

Full moon hanging on a crisp night

Sunlight as it shines its rays

Looking forward to the many days

Journeys ahead

Of us lovingly dancing down a beautiful path

In unity

Congrats Apa and Alexis Garay

October 31st, 2010
Written at the Waldorf Astoria Towers

I Thought I Was Invincible

2010-10-25T11:03:00.000-04:00

I wrote this story that was published on Tia's Way which is a website dedicated to Cervical Cancer you can check it out at http://www.tiasway.com/ I believe in the power of transparency to spread knowledge. Please read and spread the word.

I Thought I Was Invincible

By: Serena T. Wills

In the early part of 1995 I received a call from my gynecologist that changed my 20 year old free spirited mind. She said, “We received the results from your pap smear and it appears to be abnormal. We need you to come in for a biopsy.”

Scared I instantly cried, “Dr. G what’s wrong, why is it abnormal?”

Her comforting voice that reminded me that she was a mother said, “Honey we have to do a colposcopy exam which consists of me taking a closer look at your cervix with an electric microscope and the biopsy. Don’t be alarmed yet. I want to see you first thing in the morning. Please call your mother.”

When we got off the phone I sat on the stool at the kitchen counter of my apartment at Syracuse University. It was March 1995 and I suddenly felt like the weather which was dank and cold. Not knowing who I could talk too I followed her instruction and called my mother who lived in Queens, New York which was 5 hours south of me. Her calming voice said, “I want you to call me after the exam tomorrow, do they at least know what it is and what caused it?”

I shook my head as if she could see me, “No Ma they don’t, but I’ll get answers soon.”

By the beginning of the next week I was told that I had abnormal cells and luckily they were benign. They lied dormant because every year I had my annual appointment and they never appeared. The doctor described that some patients could be walking around with abnormal cells for years and not know it until it festers into a virus or worst case cervical cancer. Dr. G told me, “There is a procedure called a LEEP (Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure) which is a laser method that I could schedule with the oncologist that I work closely with to get the cells removed.”

Thinking of a laser in that area of my body wasn’t a pleasant thought but if I let the cells fester they could have turned cancerous. I agreed to the procedure and it was scheduled for beginning of April. Before we hung up the phone I asked, “How does one get this virus or infection that I have?”

Her response was in the form of a question, “Can I ask you a personal question? Have you had unprotected sex with your partner?”

I cried as I responded, “Yes.” I was sad because my mother raised me to use protection and now because I didn’t I was going through a procedure that would keep me out of school for a couple of days and change my life.

After I had the procedure I was told that I would feel cramping, bleeding and couldn’t have sex for 6-8 weeks which wasn’t a problem for me. I didn’t tell my friends what I had undergone until after we graduated a couple of years later because I was ashamed. But now I know that I should have advocated for safe sex and could have taught other students about it even though it didn’t have a name.

Fast forward to March 2001, exactly 7 years after my first episode I received an alarming call from my gynecologist. The abnormal cells returned but they were benign again. Dr. M said, “You have Human Papilloma Virus better known as HPV. There is no cure for HPV but it can be treated.”
HPV is passed on from one person to the next through sex or even skin to skin in certain areas of the body that is infected with HPV. In most cases the body fights off the virus and the infection goes away without treatment. But in some women the infection can last and turn into cervical cancer.

I asked him what my options were since I’ve had a procedure before. He said he needed to do a colposcopy and we can go from there. After my exam a week later and the biopsy I was told that it was a mild case and that I could the freezing method called Cryosurgery which was safer to the uterus. If I had undergone another laser procedure (LEEP) then I would need a stitch to strengthen my uterus if I ever wanted children.

The procedure was scheduled and my whole visit took about an hour. There was less cramping afterwards and I went to work the next day. Today I can say I have been free from abnormal pap smears for 9+ years. Every year I will be tested for HPV and it’s the most nerve racking thing to wait for the results also I will now have to get a sonogram every year because of my mother’s case of Ovarian cancer.

Unfortunately for my mother (Marguerite Wills) results didn’t turn out well. Mom always made sure I went to the doctor annually but didn’t do the same for herself. She even came to Syracuse, NY when I had my procedure in April 1995 to help me get back on my feet and care for me.

In August 2009 she admitted herself to the hospital after having trouble breathing and moving her bowels. She was fatigued and thought she might have had a case of walking pneumonia. The results on August 10th, 2009 changed hers and my family’s life forever. The doctor at Jamaica Hospital said she had two malignant tumors one on each ovary. She had stage 4 Ovarian cancer and it had spread to her stomach.

Mom was inoperable and her lungs were compromised from the cancerous fluid that expunged from the tumors and made its way throughout her body. The only solution left was either chemotherapy or nothing. Mom decided to do chemotherapy and battled the cancer for six months. She passed away on February 19th, 2010. Throughout her journey we learned about ovarian cancer and all gynecological cancers. They are noted as “silent and secret” cancers. Once discovered they can become fast moving. Her doctor told me that when I go to the doctor to get lab work done to have them do the CA-125 test which measures a level of protein that’s found on the surface of many ovarian cancer cells. CA stands for cancer antigen. A normal level is about 35 or so. When Mom’s CA-125 was taken it was 3,000. Also to date although researchers are close to finding a test to detect Ovarian cancer there still isn’t one in place. This was reported on CNN in June 2010.

Today I’m now an advocate for finding a test for Ovarian cancer and all gynecological cancers and better drugs to attack it once discovered. I plan on making trips to Capitol Hill to talk to representatives in congress and senators about what needs to be done so the number of deaths and those that are diagnosed with gyn cancers can begin to lower until one day there is a cure.

I wrote this article to alert women of what to do and how to take care of themselves. Even the healthiest person can get cancer but this is how we can catch it early.
1. Go to the doctor regularly. Schedule your annual visit with your gynecologist.
2. Ask for the HPV test to be done even if you don’t think you have it. I was walking around and had no idea that I had abnormal cells until they were found.
3. Monitor your CA-125 when your lab work is done. Ask for a print out of all the results.
4. Practice safe sex.
5. Go to the doctor with your partner and get tested together for any STD’s.
6. Eat healthy, stay away from a lot of cholesterol, fat, etc. Eat a lot of vegetables, pure juice (invest in a juicer).
7. If you have abnormal periods consult your doctor right away.
Statistics on HPV and Gynecological Cancers:
According to a CDC report in December 2009 (Center for Disease Control) between 1998-2003 in a large study that approximately 24,900 HPV Cancers occur each year. 17,300 in women and 7,600 in men. Cervical cancer is the highest occurrence for women and head and neck/oral cancer for men which is HPV related.
On American Cancer Society website in 2010 there were about 12,200 new cases of invasive cervical cancer and about 4,210 deaths. If found early enough it can be cured.
On the American Cancer Society website in 2010 there were about 21,880 new cases of ovarian cancer and 13, 850 deaths. It is ranked as #5 for cause of cancer death in women. Around 50% of the women diagnosed are over the age of 60.
Get the facts and be educated so you can live healthier, become an advocate and write your congressman about more research and tests to be done for gynecological cancers that aren’t easily detected. One day I pray for a cure for all cancers so we can all live long and prosperous lives.

Golden

2010-09-13T14:16:00.000-04:00

I wrote this piece and shared it at Damion and Morgan's wedding in Las Vegas last weekend! It was revealed for the first time at the ceremony which was very touching. I witnessed God working through the whole garden that evening. Damion and Morgan may God bless you both on your union. I love you both.

Golden

Flirting around like two dancing butterflies that flutter wings to a soft breeze

One getting closer to the other as one flies away

Back and forth as they sway to the wind on a warm spring day

When we find each other again I begin to wonder how God knew

To place you

So intricately

Like a puzzle piece into my life

You fit just right

I asked God, "How do I know he/she is the one? I mean this can't be, this isn't the way I wanted to meet?"

He told me to take "me" out of the scene and His word is the final...

Meditating on God I heard Him say look closer and you will see...

Finally staring into your eyes I saw the energy of waves crashing on a Hawaiian beach, delicateness of a parent holding their newborn for the first time and the love of two after they renew their vows

Deeper I saw God in you

Answers to questions came as fast as a rolling storm on a hot summer night

Spirit igniting as He shined the light on us

Reminiscing on days where I thought God didn't design someone for me

Seeking near and far for you as time went on I stopped looking

And when I did...there you were

All this time we were twirling around one another

When we met your smile lit up the dark sky

Gently touching your hand I had assurance that God made me for you

Suddenly my walls were crashing

Hesitation that felt like uneasy breathing

Was no more

Realizing

You're my equal

Spiritual partner

Mentor

Lover

Conqueror

Care giver

Night in shining armor

Future mother of my child

Father to my unborn

You're my best friend

And we are in this until the end

I will say I do

To you

Knowing your love for God and how you always put Him first

Granting us permission to move onward

Living our lives like its golden

Our rings symbolize unity

Hearing the angels singing in harmony

On our special day

Baby I would have it no other way

As we lay

Our paths down to walk together

In God's direction

Searching no further

As we have a love to call our own

In faith alone

In Christ alone

Forever in unison

Written By: Serena Wills

August 28th, 2010

All rights reserved

Copyright 2010 Serena Wills

Where Did You Come From?

2010-08-31T13:00:00.000-04:00

Where Did You Come From?

There’s a famous question that every admirable couple I know asked when that special person entered their life out of thin air. One minute they were single, the next they were talking to someone who caught their interest and before you know it they were dating. I’ve gone to two weddings this year on my way to number three on Friday and a fourth in October. All of the couples were at various stages in their lives when that special person either walked into their lives physically or in a couple of cases virtually.

One couple was “poking” each other on Facebook. Well a couple of pokes turned into a date and that lead to a relationship and then…I witnessed them walking down the aisle exchanging vows! They were friends for years and there was a lot of back and forth but it eventually lead to tears of joy letting me know that you never know when it will be time to make that connection and with whom.

Another couple met on an infamous website that I thought wasn’t around anymore…yes you guessed it, Black Planet. Tashawn* was very hesitant as she didn’t believe in virtual romance either. But after casual talk back and forth they decided to go on “the date.” Her side of the story was she didn’t know if she liked him and was nervous but when she met him physically she still had the guards up. After date #2 she warmed up to Tony* and now they are husband and wife. After a series of pre-marital counseling at my church home in Dallas, Texas at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship the last session consisted of them exchanging their vows to one another before their family and God.

Another couple truly inspired me by their story when Loretta* met her husband Gordan* at a night club in NYC. She pulled her girls to the side and said, “He’s too cute, where did he come from?” After having their daughter life split their paths in half and she left NYC to go home to Dallas, TX. After his fight with internal demons called “gambling” he cleaned himself up and did what any great man would do…he went after his family and reclaimed his life with them and relationship with God.

As I spoke with each couple I’m amazed at how life can make you turn a corner, be somewhere you had no intention on being, or even joining a social network to catch up with old friends but instead you caught a man or woman. All of their questions were the same after a couple of dates and conversations, “Where did you come from?”

Asia* and Rob* grew up together and their families know each other. After years of going their own ways they “ran” into each other again. She had gone through two trying relationships and her quote to me was that he was a breath of fresh air. She was happy to have her “friend” back in her life. Well little did she know that he wasn’t going anywhere this go round and now they will tie the knot in October. Every time I see her she’s glowing with the love that has been bestowed on her.

Last couple that is heading down the aisle next year worked together. Marie* said she paid him no mind for a year as they were co-workers even though they were both single. He was throwing the signs at her, compliments, you name it he did it and she intercepted every pass. After a while she began to see what he was about through their friendship and she decided to finally go on a date. Dates turned into a blissful relationship to a beautiful daughter to a proposal on a stage at a play in NYC.

I was compelled to write this piece to inspire those who may be looking or are in a bad relationship. How do you know what your blessing is if you keep blocking it? I want to tell you to put the binoculars down and not look so hard. He/she is coming. From where???? I can’t tell you. Sometimes when you look too hard you find the wrong thing. It’s not in your time…it’s in His time. Ask yourself am I blocking my blessing, sending out bad vibes, negative energy, trying to rush him/her into my life, dating the wrong person? Ask those hard questions and begin to look within and one day you’ll be writing a blog asking yourself, “Where Did You Come From?” And it will be all good! Peace.

Written By: Serena Wills

*Names were changed for privacy.

*Picture is of Damion and Morgan Davis (love is in the air people).

God's Matrimony

2010-08-16T16:48:00.000-04:00

In July I witnessed another beautiful couple unite as Desmond and Riki Atkins joined hands in holy matrimony. I was invited along with my friend Will Richey to do a collaboration poem at the reception. This is my part of the poem and when I get Will's half I will post at that time. Desmond and Riki...again congratulations! Both of you inspire me. Denim has two amazing and blessed parents!

God’s Matrimony

God whispered to us
And in His words we trust
Him to lead our paths to become one
Listening to His every direction from within
And out
As we let go of our fears to love each other again
First time we tried to direct the plan
Not knowing that no matter what we did we are just man
God has the final say
As He laid
Down our roads, cobble stone by cobble stone
Every grain of dirt as He paved our way
Walking side by side through this journey
Under His supervision
We steadily listened
Moving forward with God's intervention
Having every intention
On being together for the rest of our lives
Vows will be kept unbroken
Sometimes our love will even be unspoken
Emotions jetting out like a racing stream
Before it embraces the ocean
Spirits flooded with sincere passion
Loving each other constantly
Living out our destiny
Knowing that we are each other’s divine molds
Intricately designed by You
May the love we have
Branch out like trees
From the roots to the leaves
Extending to our little one Denim
So she can see
Her parents loving each other…spiritually
Complimenting each other eternally
Hands intertwined
Praying in unity
On bended knees
As we begin our lives
In God’s Matrimony...

Copyright 2010 by Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Creative Storm

2010-08-05T13:53:00.000-04:00

New piece I wrote while in Dallas, TX a few weeks ago. Enjoy.

Creative Storm

Perfection at its best
Lyricism taken to the test
Writing nonstop without rest
Eyes glued to the screen
Not getting enough of this good stuff
That's infused in my DNA
Creative storms brewing through my bones, into my finger tips
As my lips bless a mic
Words are coming to me in my dreams
As it seems
The storm won't stop
Even when I put the pen down
Astounded
Words, lyrics, poems and characters are still chattering
In my brain as I have to write more
Raining on the keys with avengence
Characters developing into their own person
Winds of my lyrics on the mic knocking down the coldest
Touching hearts in the right places
With my written creative storm
Spreading
City to city
State to state
Next stop...country to country
Once the storm leaves
Everything is cleansed
People left wondering when it will come again
Wanting a taste of the rain
Of creativity
To be poured down on them once more

Written July 7, 2010

Shuck n Jive Restaurant, Dallas, TX

Matt Barron playing tunes

Copyright Serena Wills 2010

All Right Reserved

Crooning

2010-06-15T14:27:00.003-04:00

This poem is what I envision anyone who is in love with a musician from a female perspective(no I'm not in love...yet). But one never knows what the future holds. Enjoy!

Crooning

I’m in love with a musician
No need to front any longer as he always captures my attention
If he wanted me he could have me in any sort of position
Listen
Can’t go on living in denial
A glimpse of his smile attracts me
When he gets on that mic and serenades me
Got down on one bending knee asking me to dig him back
I froze and when my mouth moved nothing came out and I couldn’t say jack
Crooning
Loving me from a far on the stage
Or up close and personal after a set
Assuming he did this to all the girls
Learning that in fact he only croons for thee
Mind is twirling 50 miles per minute
He’s different, magical and sexy
Singing lyrics that make even the coldest person feel a certain way
Warming my body inside and out
Inhaling…exhaling deeply…when he winks in my direction
Stressing on what to wear and even down to how I style my hair
Ladies…this crooner can sing any type of song
R and B, Reggae, Rock, Slow Tunes
Blues, Blue Grass, Latin and will even reach back and sing some Marvin Gaye
Sexual healing he’ll say to me knowing I’ve been burned before
Spirituality is out of this world
Reaching down in parts of me that were left untapped from the bums prior
Swaying to his tunes as I make my way to the front of the room
Nothing standing between us
Ladies this is way more than lust
Extending his hand out and I follow instruction
Pulling me close as he continues to sing
While dancing with me
Making the other ladies in the audience scream
Effect on me is like a hurricane
Blown away by his eyes, charm, touch, voice and musical talents
Crooning…singing love tunes for thousands
In fact even millions when he blows up
Hoping he won’t forget about our private memories
Creating musical love making from the last poem
Trapped in an artist paradise
With him…lucky girl I am
Listen to me…no more denial
Giving him my undivided attention
Writing poetry and lyrics for him
Facing the truth and simple fact that I’m in love with a musician

Copyright 2010 Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Talking Drums

2010-05-25T13:54:00.005-04:00

Last Thursday was my Mom's birthday and in African dance class through Coyaba Dance Theater in DC they dedicated the class in her memory and at the end I sat in front of the room as the entire class encircled me and danced for me and Mom.

It was so beautiful as the drums grew louder more and more of my sistas and brother's did solo's. We celebrated her life and my teacher's daughter's birthday as well. Her daughter cried and said she felt the love between Mom and I and even her presence in the room that day. From the mouths of babes.

In honor of Dance Africa kicking off this weekend in Brooklyn, NY I dedicate this poem to the dancers, drummers, musicians, artists, teachers, costume designers...everyone that embraces the African culture and traditions.

Talking Drums

Hands hitting the djembe drum
Arms flay in the air up and down
Like a bird flaps its wings
Talking drums shaking the stress and tension off of me
Conga drums shouting my name
Dun Dun drums playing a game
In my soul as it smiles
Dancing on my feet
Jumping in mid air
Loving me
Head bobbing up and down
Dipping down to the ground as if I’m picking food for the harvest
Ancestors surrounding me
Telling me I’ve won
And done my bid of being sick, depressed, heartbroken, stressed and hurt
Dance child
The drums are now shouting old sayings,
“If you can talk you can sing, if you can walk then you can dance”
Skipping around in a circle feeling too damn good
Everything I went through, all my battles, stir crazy thoughts, dreadful relationships, family lost
Now I can celebrate
Times that were once my most down points
Deep as the ocean floor
Built the bridge for me
Piece by piece
Wooden plank by plank
So I could once again dance
Laugh
Grin
Smile
Knees to the ground as I give praise to the talking drums
Hands to my chest
Swaying them out again to the drums
Back and forth the drums talk louder to me
Telling me to praise Him because I made it
I regained momentum and speed
Spirit awakened
Dreams lived
Glass that was stained is clear
Mind is no longer in mental bondage
Tears have faded to the back
Hurt is let go
Turning in circles with my arms wide open
Feet moving a mile a minute
African dancing
Movements passed onto me from generation to generation
Exhaling and inhaling
Sweat pouring off my body
Exalted praise I give thee
Talk to me…
Beat those drums…
Shout and tell me to dance more…
Talking drums playing the beats and rhythms
Until I’m sore
Sankofa bird come down on me
Grant me with wisdom
Learning lessons from my past to help build my future
You gave me back my mother
My life
My future
My mind
Rebuilt my foundation from the ground up
The foundation that I now dance on
Drums are a talking…
Play those bata drums
Djembe, my friend conga, bang on the cowbell
Let me dance some more
Until I can’t dance no more

Written By: Serena Wills

February 8th, 2010

Copyright Serena Wills 2010

Sound of Your Voice

2010-05-18T16:38:00.004-04:00

Mom's birthday is Thursday, May 20th and on the cold and rainy days especially I miss talking to her. We would talk daily about everything to nothing. Dedicated to those who are missing their loved ones and conversations that can never be replaced.

Sound of Your Voice

The sound of your voice
Calmed me in the midst of a storm
Be soothing during a cry when I just couldn't take it anymore
Loving sense of always knowing when I needed an, "I love you and that's all I called for."
Courageous in tone when I needed to get up...stand up after taking a hard fall
You always knew what to say
How to say it
When to say it
Timing was always appropriate
Sick sense would kick in
Not understanding how you always knew
Ears could hear miles away when I lied because I didn't want to worry you
Caught in a lie again when you would say, "You're not alright...talk to me."
Letting go as either the rage from being done wrong to a simple missing you from living so far
Somehow...some way...you always knew when I had to hear your voice
I long for our daily calls, laughs, tears shed and even silence between us on the phone
Pouring out tears for you as I can't have those days any more
Voice sang to my spirit every single day
Although I miss those days I'm so blessed to have had them in the first place
Today I heard the wind chimes clang as the breeze blew through my window
I know it’s you as you stopped by
To say, "I came by to say I love you."
Yet I can't see you, but I do feel you
And hear your gentle whispers as I lift my hands high to praise Him for the love we shared
Blowing kisses to heaven saying, "Mama...I love you too."
Sound of your sweet voice was music to my spirit and soul
Calling me right in the nick of time...

Written By: Serena Wills
May 16th, 2010

Copyright Serena Wills 2010

Painting By Soukaa, "Queen of Sorrow"

Southern Days with Old Friends

2010-05-03T16:33:00.006-04:00

Back in March I attended a beautiful wedding. This one will always remain close to my heart as I saw two good friends from college unite as one. It came shortly after Mom passed away and at a time when I thought I would never smile again...I ended up rejoicing. Thanking God for their "I Do's" and knowing that love can strike at any time.

It was also a grand time with old friends as we all chatted about back in the days and how we are living life now...enjoy my poem, be blessed and love one another.

Southern Days with Old Friends

Cotton balls
Hanging out of the crystal blue sky
Breeze brushing across my face
Feeling spirits surrounding me
Gracing me with their presence
Smiling down like the sun shining on flowers in need of light
Blue bells dancing in the wind
Jazz music infused through the air
Of Charleston, SC
Lightening bugs flashing their bulbs in the midst of the night
Old friends laughing about college days and joy that life brings
Dancing with that crush from years ago
Southern accents that end with sweetie, honey or sugar plum...
Molasses on warm biscuits
Cheese grits and catfish warm my belly
Naps in the hammock from a full day of straight relaxing
With old friends, that can never be replaced
As we laughed and laughed and laughed about the easy days
Good times when we were all debt free
What was once serious is now petty beef
Making amends as we hit the streets
Of the deep south
Reuniting as we witness the union of two great friends as they say their vows
Funny how God works because in a time of grieving I'm rejoicing as they sashay into the reception hall
Never thought I'd smile again but how can I not grin as old friends and I dance the night away
Saying good bye the next day was bitter sweet
Back to our lives that await as some of get ready to hit the grind in the mean streets
Pure memories of a weekend with old friends, uniting in the south
Tickle my humor on those gloomy days
Remembering the tears of joy from the bride remind me of the old saying that, "Joy comes in the morning."
Watching a brotha friend of mine tie the knot screams inspiration to me
Waiting on God to wrap up molding my future Valentine
My, my, my...how I smile reflecting on a beautiful day in sunny South Carolina
Where the worries and emotions of my world temporarily came to a stop
Chilling with old friends, made some new...unity as one
As we witnessed a union stated by God when He granted favor on the new husband and wife

Dedicated to Dr. and Mrs. Adolphus Belk, Jr.

Written on March 14th and completed on May 3rd, 2010

Copy written by Law Serena Wills 2010

Ode to Hip Hop

2010-04-21T18:43:00.002-04:00

Dedicated to Guru, his family and all those real hip hop lovers. God bless.

Ode to Hip Hop
Hip hop
Loving da' flow
Beats jumping into my soul
From old to new school
You know how it goes
Hip hop
Founded in Africa
Traveled miles to the Boogie Down Bronx
Drums and tunes were the unspoken heard of our ancestors
Djembes to Lauren
African dance steps to break dancers
Elders telling stories to peeps rapping about pushing me to close to the edge
Jumping back like punks jump up to get a beat down
Astounded
By the decades of the continuous verbal infusion
Somewhat lost in this new generation
We once talked about something
And that turned into nuthin'
Peeps rapping about mess like gold chains, women and chrome rims
We need to get back to basics
Hip hop lives
Through the people like Guru, Mos Def, Common...Sense, Run DMC, LL and Sugar Hill
To the divas like Queen Latifah, MC Lyte and Salt and Pepa
Underground like the railroad where you will hear artists like J-Live, Asheru and Playdough
We are hip hop
Spoken word artists, b-girls, dj's and all
I breathe in trueness everyday
And not that whack ish that gets radio play
I am hip hop and it lives in me
Style of my clothes, language I speak...the culture
Next time you write that whack lyric think...is this what the ancestors would have said?
Teach the babies something to live for
Instead of those non substance lyrics you spit
Educate through the power of rhymes
Communicate through your dance movements
Recreate a system by reaching out to our kids and generations that will soon come
Called hip hop
Hip hop
Hip hop
Hip...hop

Written: March 11th, 2010 at 9:25pm

Station 9 in DC...artist on the mic "Asheru"

Mood...iiiight

Silent Tears

2010-04-13T15:56:00.005-04:00

I never posted this poem on my blog. Mom reassured me that I was going to be okay even though I silently cried at her bedside. There are nights and days where the tears just flow and you know what...I let them because it's cleansing my soul. Dedicated to those who have silent tears and have been to the place I've been. The painting is by my friend Soukaa, an artist out of Dallas, TX.

Silent tears
Streak my face
Creating a puddle of water in my lap
Deep breaths as I let out shrieks of pain
Grieving untamed
Falling to my knees
Screaming please
Please...
Come back to me
Alas in the stillness of the night
Begging and pleading
Reasoning with God
I tried to tell Him
"We had plans my man and now my mother has been taken away from me."
Shoulders hunched over
Arms wrapped around my stomach
Releasing my mourning and aches that are trapped within
Mourning over Mama
Thought she would make it
Instead God turned the clock forward
Minutes passed by and moments are unclear
Surreal that she's gone
Phone silent
No more ringing in the middle of the night
Ever since my mother walked into the light
Thinking back to the day
When she smiled at me to say
"I love you and you'll be okay"
Not comprehending
Riddles she made
But as I pieced everything together I finally was aware
She was preparing me
Always a mother even after the last breath
Worried about my family
Reassuring her we'll keep each other lifted as God covers us like a blanket on a cold winter day
Fast forward to now
Visions of your smile
Dancing in heavens clouds
Brings joy to my saddened heart
Comforted by your spiritual presence that surrounds me day in and day out
Even the times when I shout
"Mama where are you!"
I'm reminded as I feel a gentle touch that rubs my back
And a whisper...I'm right here baby girl
Mama you will always be with me
And I will be with you too
My sorrow is raw
Emotions crashing like waves against a mountains wall
Rescue me from this grief
Send me a sign
That you're thinking of me too
Figuring out my next steps and what God has ordered for me to do
Except the only thing missing physically is you
Gazing into the dark night
Blurred vision from tears
Praying to God to heal my family and me too
Sending a message to you
Through prayers and thoughts
Mom I love you
Honored that God chose me to be birthed through you
One courageous, bold, voicetrous and loving woman
Your legacy will be kept alive and promises I made to you will be kept
Loving you...always...dear mama
Silent tears fall as I grieve

Ase to you...

Copyright Serena Wills 2010

Pain

2010-04-06T13:02:00.004-04:00

As I read the story of Paul and how he had a thorn in his side and was always in pain it reminded me of the aches I feel at times in my heart about Mom being gone. I wrote this a couple of weeks ago on a rainy afternoon. Be blessed and know that we all go through pain, but pray as I am that God will heal it in His time. He will shower down on me and my family as Earnest Pugh sings in his song. Peace.

Pain

Healing relieves me of pain
But makes more room for more
Empty space begins to fill with feelings of breathing easy, less crying and hopes of nothing else trying
Happening to me
It seems as though when the pain of a loved ones death, broken relationship, hateful job has subsided
The devil gives you more
Nights are suddenly occupied again with misty eyes, palpitating heart and no rest
Managing the loss of my sister I thought would never come
2.5 years later now my mother is gone
Like an open wound that never healed right
Reopened as it hurts like never before
I never thought I would be a motherless child physically
So soon
Down one sister, father, papa and now mama
God I don't know how much more I can take
Please forsake me if I've ever done anything to you to make me go through this
I thought it was the devil as I felt the pain in my side like the story of Paul
Not understanding why you took my Iya so soon
Reliving everything I've done wrong to see why I'm being punished
I'm not a bad person
Pastor told me the thorn you feel is keeping you humble, the greater the pain the bigger your anointing that God will bless you
Shaking my head as I steadily wipe the constant stream of tears from my face
Why me God...why us
Family going nuts because now Mom has left us
Praying for more healing, as the minutes, hours, days and now weeks go by
Dreaming about Mom at night hoping when I wake up its all a lie
That she will call and say, "Baby I'm home."
Alas when I pick up the phone I hear the message that the phone is now disconnected
God give me understanding, knowing that in the end this will all make sense
For now I have to come to grips
With Mama's death
Healing relieves pain
Sometimes it makes room for more
Standing on my faith
Asking God for strength
Everlasting guidance since He gave me my own personal guardian angel
Leaning into your spiritual arms Mama
Missing you
Praying that my healing comes and pain will be subdued
Hoping in time it will be easier to manage
The pain of losing you...

Written By: Serena Wills

March.23.10

Rainy day

Mom is Smiling and Dancing in the Heavens

2010-03-29T13:04:00.006-04:00

This is what I wrote for my mother's funeral. I have to share with the world the great woman she was physically and now that she is in the heavens she's on a higher plain and is smiling and dancing. The picture of her is from the 70's at a show. She was in shape and this was a pic taken after she had me! Amazing!

Life With Marguerite "Sauti" Wills

Marguerite Teresa Ann Wills was born May 20th, 1949 in Jamaica, NY.
Born to the late Mr. Lawrence Wills Sr. and Mrs. Bernice Wills they were
more than tickled to receive such a blessing from God. She was a loving
sister as she was the oldest of five children. Throughout her childhood she
stayed active through dance where she took up ballet, tap and jazz at
Bernice Johnson Dance School. She also took up modeling as she enjoyed
being in numerous shows.

After she graduated from St. Michael High School in Brooklyn, NY in
1967 a shift occurred. She said between the African drums that called her
down the hall after she took ballet and the liberation movement of our
people began to transform her. Working at Green Lantern she helped out
with free lunch programs and assisted organizations such as the Black
Panther’s to help teach our children about equality and to fight for the Civil
Rights Movement. After cutting out the perm she received the name
“Sauti” which means “Voice” in Swahili as she always spoke the
knowledge of elders and advocated for what was right.

She began to dance and do lighting through the “International Afrikan
American Ballet” and they performed in the first “Dance Africa” in the
1970’s both she and the nonprofit dance troupe performed or what we call,
“Tearing up the stage” all over the state and they even ventured out to
places such as Canada. Now 30+ years later Dance Africa is known all
over the world and “Sauti” can smile down and say, “I was in the first
show.”

One day she danced and began to feel a bit tired only to discover she was
pregnant. She danced until it was time to give birth to Serena Theresa Wills
in 1975. She became a homemaker and put all her efforts into taking care
of her daughter and still was active in the ballet.

Her life then took on another shift as God called her to work with children
in need. Her sister Doretha Washington was diagnosed with AIDS in 1983
but delivered a beautiful daughter named Ayana. Marguerite stepped up to
the plate and said, “I’ll take her home.”

The doctors said Ayana wouldn’t see the age of 1. Because of Marguerite’s
constant love, attention to all of her medical conditions such as severe brain
damage, scoliosis, under developed organs Ayana didn’t pass away until 24 in
2007.

Marguerite instilled her beliefs into her daughter Serena and as she
volunteered through her high school at Terrance Cardinal Cooke in
Harlem. There Serena met Christina. Born in 1989 to a crack addicted
mother she was brought to the facility where they thought she would die or
be severely brain damaged because of the drugs in her mother’s system.
After a few visits Marguerite couldn’t bear to leave her in the facility and
adopted her in 1993. Christina was diagnosed as Autistic and is now 20 years old
and is “Nana’s Little Helper.”

She was an advocate for children that had special needs and always
envisioned opening up a group home for more children. She tried to get a
program but alas the state made major cuts. She continued to care for her
children and stayed fighting for their rights. Anyone could tell you that
Marguerite’s African name “Sauti” was appropriately given to her as she
never backed down and in the end she won.

The last turn of her path was when she was diagnosed on August 10th,
2009 with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer that had spread to her stomach. Her
determination to live went on for months. Not understanding why at first;
she knew at the end as she smiles down on us. Her last task on earth was to
reunite her family and make it known that tomorrow isn’t promised. She
cracked jokes, was always friendly with the nurses and doctors,
understood every medical term they gave her and never complained. Her
journey ended on Friday, February 19th, 2010 at the age of 60 years old.

There isn’t enough room on the page to describe her as she ended up
touching the lives of many people. She always told her daughter Serena,
“No matter what you do in life, I’ll always be proud of you as long as you are happy and apply yourself.”

Marguerite “Sauti” Wills is survived by her mother Bernice Wills, two
siblings Hilda Douglas, Lawrence “Larry” Wills, Jr., two children Serena
T. Wills and Christina S. Wills, brother in law Kirk Douglas and sister in
law Annette Wills, three nephews Christopher Douglas, Tyler Wills and
Bryce Wills and a host of family and friends. Marguerite has a special
place in heaven and is on the hilltop looking down at us smiling saying, “I
made it home.”

Divine Rebirth

2010-03-16T12:31:00.002-04:00

This poem is a tribute to my mother, the late Marguerite "Sauti" Wills. She passed away on February 19, 2010 to Ovarian Cancer. May she rest in heavenly peace as her work here is done and God called her home. I wrote it as if I was in her shoes. Enjoy and be blessed.

Divine Rebirth

Earth Stood Still
Heavens Gates Opened
Cancer finally cured
Scared at first of the unknown
What lie ahead
Fighting for breath in my body
Saying good bye
Closed eyes once that lead to visions of more drugs, chemo, hateful needles and pain
Ability to walk was non existent
But this time
Oh this time
When I closed my eyes
I woke up to streets of gold, hugging my Daddy and my little girl as they greeted me
Feeling my full face, color restored, and my tight dancer calves have returned
I'm whole
Free
Smiled as I felt my beautiful natural hair
Daddy and Ayana led me to a shining light
Bright as it gleamed into what was once a dark sky
Huge arms were extended
Embracing me, rubbing my head as I hugged the Lord
He said, "Sauti...job well done. You carried enough crosses in your life time and now its time for you to rest."
Staring into the eyes of the great one I asked, "what about my loved ones, those left behind? How will they do?"
He raised his arms and clouds above Him displayed a picture perfect view
I saw my loved ones as they grieved over me
Tears of those who cared for me day in and day out
I reached out and then I realized my mother saw me, daughters were startled and siblings looking around
God said, "They felt your touch, talk to them and tell them grief will be brief and your mourning one day will be replaced with healing."
Whispering the tears of my mother was suddenly replaced with her genuine smile
Family now laughing about the good times that were had
Gates now opened and God said, "Rest for there is some work to do...time to move road blocks, barriers, and clear storms."
Rearrange their lives so they can live comfortably
Bless the doctors and nurses that cared for you
All those you touched for its their turn to be blessed in return
I smiled and when I went to walk away the huge arm extended to me again
"I ask you though to do one last favor for me? Go down the road into the house on the hilltop and be happy with what you see."
Guardian angels led me to the house and there I saw old relatives, and friends
Drums started beating, awakening my spirit as I danced like I was back with International
Celebrating my rebirth of eternal life
All day I praised Him and then in the corner I saw babies cooing and playing
I knelt down to play with two and saw me in them
Confused I asked Ayana, "Who's children are they?"
She smiled and said, "Meet your grands, you must spend time with them and prepare them for that magical journey"
I picked up my babies and was led into a majestic room in the back accented with silver and gold.
A huge bed and a view of the valley
Papa tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Marguerite, kick your feet up, rest up and welcome home."
It felt good to lay down after 20+ years, no worries for I will take care of my family from afar, playing with my cooing grands
Feet kicked up, being fed by ancestors past
I'm at peace, no more suffering, yelling ouch when you roll me, no more memory lapse due to chemotherapy
Don't mourn for I live on a hilltop, my special place picked out by God
Resting...finally...eternally

Written By: Serena Wills

Mommy, its time for you to rest, I love you and will miss you very much. Ase Iya Sauti, Ase to the ancestors that greeted you in the heavens, Ase, Ase, Ase

Epiphany or Musical Lovemaking...

2010-01-26T12:54:00.002-05:00

This unique piece has two titles, I love both so I'll keep em. I was inspired to write this piece on one of the last evenings I got together with my ArtLoveMagic family last year in June. Dedicated to all of my true musicians...keep creating.

Epiphany...Musical Lovemaking

Lovemaking to my soul
Reaching down into places
Where no one should go
But somehow you’re there with the power
Of your voice singing blues and your guitar
Strumming the chords of my creative muse
Musical depth of the oceans floor
Longing for a moment with you
Visualization of musically twisted thoughts
Poetry with your grooves
Rhythm and blues
Reggae to even country tunes
Tapping into me
Like the army uses morse code
Asking myself, “How do you know what to touch, press, feel and even stroke…creatively.”
Longtime coming since I let go into this abyss of my natural mystic
Tucked away never wanting to get hurt
Guarded for the fear
Of the past troubles
One man tried to rape my artistry, creativity and mentality
He didn’t believe in the power of music
Words bouncing off of the walls
Bass trembling to the bottom of my toes
To the tips of my eyelashes
Discovery once again through you of my musical incline
An epiphany wondering what was missing from my life
Uniquely designed as I come alive again
Loving you
Digging you
Plugging away at those guitar strings
Wanting you as you sing to me through your soft lips
Rejuvenation of my mind, body and spirit
Creative restoration
God placed this gift in you
Bless others with your tunes
Swaying to the music…nothing but the music
Lovingly through you

Written By:

Serena Wills

Started on June 26, 2009 and completed December 2009

The Revolution of Me...

2010-01-20T16:35:00.005-05:00

Celebrating thirty-five years of life and as I look back, I'm so thankful for all the good, bad and even ugly. I noticed this weekend that although my mother is sick with cancer, she is getting stronger and has brought my family together in ways that I could never imagine. We aren't a perfect family but I've prayed for many years that we can rid the grudges, speak to one another more often and connect to each other on if not most then all levels.

Even I have been guilty of holding onto the grudges of loved ones in my family and not letting go. I thanked my mother on my birthday which was on January 16th for being strong and for bringing our family together as we work in unison in regards to her health. We can now talk about how each of us are doing, the kids, finances, trials and struggles and help each other get through. We still have work to do but this is a beautiful start thus far.

During my time of reflection on Saturday I looked over at my beautiful cousin Gianina from my fathers side and thanked him. Even though he could never figure out how to be a father to me on this physical plain called earth, never acknowledged me, he has done something that I never thought would happen. He lead me to the "Hayes" side of my family where I had two sisters and a brother waiting for me. An array of cousins, an Uncle that embraces me and a host of other people. Although my brother isn't in the fold yet I know in time that he will find us.

How could I hold onto a grudge with a person that is now deceased? How could anyone? It sounds easy but a lot of people as myself and my cousin were talking about over the weekend still can't let go of hurt feelings, emotions or grudges with someone who is alive let alone dead. The day I heard my father passed away almost ten years ago most of those ill feelings and grudges were dropped. Over time all of them vanished. He paid the ultimate price and although I sometimes hurt inside that I will never get a chance to meet him on this side of my life, I know that I will see him when it's my time to go.

Some may say that this piece should be called "Evolution" but in fact it's a "Revolution." Meaning that a dramatic change has happened to me over time and it's good change. In fact it's great. Not enough people sit down and reflect on the major and drastic changes. The shifts that have taken place to put them into the position that they are in now.

Sitting around with a few of my girlfriends on Saturday night made me look back at those that aren't in my circle any more and I'm not in their line of friends. We naturally moved on or weren't on each other's level. Some have grown distant and our friendship is fine like that. Many times they were in my life for a reason...a season...a mere chapter. Some come in and out. But the older I get the more I notice my circle is full of beautiful, spiritual and intelligent women. Also full of positive and inspiring men that have proven that all men aren't cut from the same piece of cloth. They are designed in God's light and are here to prove that there are still real gentlemen walking this earth.

Lastly I reflected on the wonderful children that are in my life. Although I haven't birthed any (yet) they are something else. My nephew who is all of seven spoke to me on the phone Sunday morning and I still remember the day that he fell asleep in my arms when we were at the beach when he was only one year old. He was so peaceful as we were in the ocean and all of a sudden I heard his heavy breathing in my ear. But something else happened when I spoke with him. I suddenly yearned for the day that I'm blessed to meet the king in my life so I can have one or even two children. I'm now in my mid thirties and my clock for some reason rang a little loud over the weekend (the biological clock). But I know when that day comes (both me meeting the man of my dreams and having a child) that it will be another shift...revolution (change) to discuss.

For now I'm thankful for all that I have, the dreams that will come true this year and all that God has blessed me with. Every time I felt down or didn't think I accomplished a task or let someone down (even myself). He saw the best in me. He made me change and turn in directions that I wouldn't have imagined and as my pastor says in church...the best is yet to come.

Be easy and at peace.

Racing to Save Lives Again...A Living Honor to My Mother

2009-12-02T16:08:00.002-05:00

Hello everyone! It was time to test my strength once again and run in honor of mi madre Marguerite Wills. Please read below.

I'm training to participate in the Suntrust National Full (26.2 mile) marathon on March 20th, 2010 as a member of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Team In Training. This is my 5th Marathon! My theme is (Five for 35) as I will be turning 35 in January.

All of us on Team In Training are raising funds to help create a world free of cancer. I am completing this event in honor of my mother Marguerite "Sauti" Wills that is battling ovarian and stomach cancer. She was diagnosed August 10th, 2009 just one month after I relocated back to the east coast. She is a fighter and has already started her chemotherapy. We accept all prayers and thoughts at this time. I'm also running in memory of my grandfather, "Papa" Lawrence Wills, Sr.

They are my personal heroes as well as everyone who is battling cancer...the real heroes on our team, and we need your support to cross the ultimate finish line - a cure!

Please make a donation to support my participation in Team In Training at http://pages.teamintraining.org/nca/natl10/swills and help advance LLS's mission. Whether it's $10, $25, $50, $75, $100. Any donation makes a difference! Remember 2009 is coming to an end so any donations made by the end of December 31st can be used as a tax deduction for 2009!!!!! My overall goal is to raise $1,600 by January 16th (my birthday)! So help me crush my goal!

I hope you will visit my web site often. Be sure to check back frequently to see my progress and to see how my Mommy is doing too.

Thanks for your support! Also the picture is of Mommy, my sister Ayana (RIP) and me in 1984! Mom you can make it!!!!

Peace and Love,

Serena

Storms

2009-10-31T10:53:00.003-04:00

I wrote this piece in church on Wednesday night when I thought about the struggles and battles my Mom is having with ovarian cancer. This is dedicated to all those who have either been infected, affected or impacted by cancer. Mom you will make it! Peace be with you...

Storms

Silence
Listening to the sounds of the rain outside my window
Drip, splash, drip, splash
Splashing on the leaves as the water pours out of the sky
Voice becoming stronger with the wind picking up
Tree branches scratching my windows
On bending knees praying for the healing rejuvenation and restoration for Mama
Struck with cancer two months ago
Hurricane like winds whipping devastation to her physical being
Bleakness blinds my vision
Grim nightmares brewed with the thoughts of you possibly leaving me here on earth alone
Lights flickered
Storm becoming fierce outside
Similar to the one my Mama is enduring
Memories of walking hand in hand with you one year prior
Ignorant to the fact that we're not invincible
Although God's children
We're human acceptable to diseases, hurt, pain and anguish
Throat closing as my streaks of tears were accompanied by screams
Confessing with my mouth all the things I did
Not comprehending
Mom's diagnosis
She's my rock, the living angel in my life
Overnight I became Mama's wall holding her up
Who knew I'd be strong enough to bear so much on my spirit, soul and mental being
Blurred eyes, the wet pillow and sore throat signs that I mourned the death of the cancer
Believing faithfully that as the cancer dies Mom's body is being reconstructed
Optimism growing from the pain, believing that God kissed the cancer goodbye
Matter of time before she is healed
In your darkest moments is when God will begin to abundantly bless you
Stretched body across the floor
Praying for a total breakthrough
Rain falling
Slowly decreasing
Water tumbling off the leaves
Cancer cells dying
Disease stricken storm
Dying...leaving the body
Renewed, healed
Cured

May Peace Be With You,

Serena

Turning in My Player's Hat

2009-10-19T20:47:00.001-04:00

I know this piece is talking to either somebody or a few people...

Turning in My Players Hat!

When my friend Ethan (named changed to not put him out there) told me that he’s tired of all this dating and wants to settle down I almost passed out. He’s truly attractive and I’ve seen him grow over the course of our 20+ year of friendship. He loved women, all kinds and they would flock to him. I mean who wouldn’t. He’s smart, witty and charming. Great job, has his head on right and is learning from his mistakes. But he just wasn’t ready to settle down. As we sat on the phone he laid out his master plan to me. I thought to myself, “My God we’re grownups.” We want to have families, see each other blow up and live our dreams. I was still in shock that my brother is turning in the players’ hat for a wife. He’s been through a lot in his life. When he lost his Grandpa shortly after I lost mine I felt his pain. His sound board was gone. All of the wisdom of listening to an elder man was silenced.

He never wanted his crew to see his pain but we knew he was hurting when he dropped off the face of the earth for a year. My Papa has been gone for over 8 years now and I still miss him. I wish I had the opportunity to ask him questions (especially in the dating department). But I do through prayer but there is nothing like hearing his voice.

Anyway a few of my male friends are turning in those player hats (heck even some girlfriends of mine). They are tired of this crazy dating game, settling down for the one that brings them joy and sometimes throwing in the cards cost a price. Some friends won’t and don’t want to understand. They are steadily tripping because they feel as if you are leaving them out in the cold. You don’t hang out in the clubs as much or at all, you prefer a lounge with a nice drink and conversation, your shirts aren’t as fitting but you still look good, etc. Men don’t deal with this as much (at least I haven’t seen the cattiness).

But even for dudes they get the locked down jokes. Okay so what you’d rather hang out with the wife instead of drinking brews with your friends. You start hanging out with men who are married like you and are done with clubbing and trying to get numbers at the end of the night. Sometimes friendships will come to an end. Paths won’t connect because a party doesn’t want to let you go and if you love that man or woman then you have two choices. Tell them I’m sorry but I’d rather go club hopping and hang out with my peeps or make your friends understand that this is a new chapter in your life. Either deal with it or don’t.

I’m personally happy for a few of my friends that are all in love, making strides to walk down the aisle sooner than later because when I see them with their partner I see nothing but love. We still hang out with each other and even go out. But I’ve grown as a person too; I don’t like the loud clubs as much. I like to chill over the weekend. Go listen to a live band, open mic, etc. I even love going over my friends houses that are married and have kids (I swear they throw the best bar b ques and get togethers). Secretly they are an inspiration to me as I see a whole family get down and have fun but still want to involve their friends in their life.
Turning in your players’ hat, cards, black books, and everything is fine. It’s a signal that you are growing up and want to take life to the next stage and this time with someone who you honestly love with all your heart.

As one of the pastors used to say in church back in Dallas. “All you single people who have friends getting married don’t hate…motivate!” Everyone would crack up but he had a good point. Look to them as a source of preparing for your future and if you are a good friend then let them go and be with their loved one and not cause any drama. Appreciate that your player friend has handed in his/her badge and said…I’m done.

Ancestors Voice

2009-10-11T12:10:00.000-04:00

Peace and love peeps. I'm back, I've been out of commission for a while but wanted to spread some wisdom today. Be blessed.

My face may look young
But my tongue
Speaks knowledge like the elders
As I stood on their shoulders
Walking in their footprints
As an elder came from behind me and told me…
Shut your mouth with all that talking and just listen
Shush chile...and listen to me
As she told me stories about our forefathers, foremothers, Queens and Kings
She took her hand and reached back into time
Telling me stories of the ancestors that blessed me
She told me stories of how we were snatched away in the dead of night as they awaited their sentencing to slavery
Goree Island is the name and for specific reasoning
My people were raped, beaten and murdered
She took a finger and played with the sand as I saw visions of people crying and dying
Those are my ancestors, the ones who shoulders I stand on
Footprints I step into
The mysterious lady waved her hand and we forwarded into time
As I now saw King preaching about the mountain top and Malcolm X fighting for equality
I got up to look closer and I saw legends singing about justice like Bob Marley
All dying way before their time
They died for us
They died for us
People wake up and look into your past to build for the future
Sitting all comfortable thinking we are equal
Hmmph that is bull
We still have a ways to go…
Secret segregation in our schools, no books and no tools to teach our children
The future
I am no damn fool
Racial profiling as I am not smiling when the cops pull me over for doing five over the speed…limit
Our ancestors and those before us fought for us…but wake up people because we have a ways to go
I stared into the eyes of my new found friend, tears streamed down her face
She said, “Honey chile I am happy but I am so sad. Our people are so complacent, so aggravated, and some not making any attempts to make a change. Will you help lead our people into the valley? Help them make a difference in their life and the future?”
I promised to her I will do all I can do to lead the people
Making a difference in my community
Stop being comfortable and make some moves
Unplug your ears and open your eyes and see what is on the horizon
Just wake up and listen…

Something Old and Something New...

2009-09-01T19:04:00.000-04:00

When I was in Girl Scouts there was a song we sang every week:
“Make new friends
But keep the old
One is silver
And the other is gold.”

But is it the same for love? What if you were used to dating a certain type of man or woman and all of a sudden your eyes were opened to something new. A couple of weeks ago I watched the movie, “Something New.” No matter how many times I watch it I fall more in love with it. It also showed me things that we deal with in society about how people are indirectly prejudice. They would prefer to date a black man as Sanaa Lathan stated in the movie but your king could be standing right in front of you and could be of another race. Would you turn your head the other direction and keep looking for something that you think is good for you but may not.

I also had a discussion with a dear friend of mine (male) that has a list/criteria for his future wife as Sanaa’s character (Kenya) did in the movie. I understand that we all have a hidden list but something you may miss out if your list gets a little too long. I’m not saying settle but what if your future wife in his case has a master’s degree but not from a particular school as my friend stated. Would he still turn the cheek and keep finding the woman of his dreams with a particular education?
I used to be that woman with the criteria and a laundry list of do’s and don’ts. One of my preferences on my list was dating or marrying a brother (black man). As life has unfolded my list is getting shorter. Okay so I will date someone 5’10” instead of the 6’ feet and over rule now, or someone who doesn’t have a masters like me or a man who is not a 9-5 guy but a hard working man.

Living in Dallas made me open my eyes as I met a couple of guys that I would never think I had anything in common with because I was coming off as a Kenya McQueen from the movie. As I got to know them I liked what I experienced. It was something new for me and a few of my friends as we get older really want at the end of the day a good man. Someone who takes care of his household, spiritual, knows who God (or your specific creator) is and what He has done for him, goals, dreams, ambitions and loves his family. Not a lot to ask for. But notice how race wasn’t in there, height (even though I still love them tall), or a 9-5 person.

I discovered that spirits need to connect and sometimes you may have a 9-5 job and he doesn’t (vice versa), nor he or she might not have graduated from an Ivy League school (so what), but ask yourself as Heavy D did in a song back in the day, “Is it good to you?”

Do you get that feeling that you can tear down the walls and truly be the person you are around this person? No hiding or making yourself into something you’re not because of fear that he or she will break out. Can you look them in the eye and say to yourself, “Okay so what he is an inch shorter than me…I love him so much and I’m blessed to have him.” Do you care about going out and when people ask you what he does for a living and you answer, “He’s a professional landscaper (landscape architect) that loves planting flowers.” Also are you willing to take that step out your box and date outside of your race?

I’m bringing this up because as I said I had a wakeup call before I left Dallas, TX. The man has it going on, no he’s not a 9-5 cat and he absolutely loves what he does. I told him he is deserving of a woman that will love what he does as well as his talents will mesmerize anyone. Really open and what I truly appreciate about him is that he laid it all out on the table. Everything…good and bad. I told him I truly respect him because not every man nor woman will put themselves completely out there. In other words he is giving you the choice to see him naked and you gotta love that about him. At least I do.

So we are great friends, but I thank him for opening up my eyes. One never knows where something new will come from and when it does be open to accept it because you may ask God for that good woman or man and He will give them to you. But if your eyes are closed then you may miss the gift because he/she may be of a different race and may not fit your long lengthy list of criteria. Are you going to be like Kenya McQueen in the move (played by Sanaa Lathan) and go after her heart (Brian) played by Simon Baker and love or do what she could have done…date a guy (played by Blair Underwood) because he fits your whole list but you don’t have one ounce of connectivity.

Something new to think about…

How I Freed My Soul Volume 1 Anthology is Released! Buy Your Copy Today!!!

2009-08-22T14:37:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! My transition back east has been full of ups and some downs. One of the blessings was to hit the mic while helping promote the new anthology at the Capital Hip Hop Soul Fest, "How I Freed My Soul, Vol 1." is edited by Khadijah Ali-Coleman. Below is what I copied off of the website. Please support and buy a copy today! My poem, "Sounds of the Ocean" is published in it.

So go to: http://outskirtspress.com/webpage.php?ISBN=978-1-4327-2415-3 and order your copy today!

Stay tuned for events where books will be for sale, book signings and more!!! Also for future publications where yours truly will be published in!!! I've also attached a copy of the beautiful book cover!

Peace and blessings! Thank you in advance for your support!

How I Freed My Soul Vol. 1:

Love. Sickness. Travel. A one-night stand. Speaking up. Losing a job. Breaking up. Khadijah Ali-Coleman has edited an eclectic assortment of work that is sure to inspire, revive and enthrall readers on the very idea of how to free one's soul. Containing personal essays, poetry, short stories and visual art, this compilation stretches boundaries as one contemplates the very idea of freedom while presenting, and often challenging, the concept of the soul. This book anthology is the featured book of the 2009 Capital Hip Hop Soul Fest, an annual festival held in Washington DC.

Contributing writers include: Tichaona Chinyelu, Nabina Das, Venus Jones, Farah Lawal, Omar Akbar, Anthony Spires, Amy Blondell, DJ Gaskin, Summayah Talibah, Maureen Mulima, Randy Gross, Margaux Delotte-Bennett, Serena Wills, and other notables.

Visual art work by Turtel Onli, Marshetta Davis, Shan'ta Monroe and more.

Foreword by author Ananda Leeke.
Cover Art by Sharon Burton.

Life Transformation

2009-08-02T17:02:00.000-04:00

Life Transformation

I’ve been in the DC area better known as DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia) area for 23 days. Truly blessed that I’m starting a new chapter in my life and at the same time a little sad that one is closing. Sometimes people don’t understand when it’s time to move on or even move back. I had been back and forth praying about my return to the east coast but at the same time I didn’t know if I should leave Dallas because of the great things that were happening with my artistry, meeting great people and being so active. I discovered things internally that had been festering inside me when I first lived in Alexandria, VA for 8.5 years before moving to Dallas for love. The love I moved for came and went and at first I felt bad about it but after time, healing and motivation I saw my true purpose for leaving VA. I was supposed to take my writing and poetry to another level that I had never reached because I was too distracted in DMV when I was younger. Too busy hitting the streets, clubs and chilling and barely concentrating on my love for writing and poetry.

All the while this was festering in my soul and spirit between 1997-2006 it never came to full fruition. Many teachers since elementary school strongly encouraged me to take my writing seriously. They called it a gift. I just saw it as writing well. But in Dallas, TX between the many artists that embraced and touched me, various people and places such as ArtLoveMagic, Art Conspiracy, Writers Block, Inc. and the South Dallas Cultural Center I grew into my creative spirit. Even my church home Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship has their Creative Tyme ministry which focuses on the arts where I met accomplished authors. My nonprofit career shifted back into arts education and everywhere I turned I felt inspired after a while.

So why did I leave Dallas, TX with all of this greatness happening? After the death of my sister in 2007 I knew that I had to be closer to my family and support circle. Her death made me think of life differently as I submitted pieces to be published. I knew that tomorrow wasn’t promised to anyone. Being so far away from my mother and family at a time like this internally killed a piece of my spirit. However I was restored through prayer, meditation and a grieving class, I came to grips with her death and thanked God for the 24 years I had with her. Since Ayana left us I’ve been published three times, completed three books and hit the open mic scene. I learned to use my words to reach out to the masses because you never know how you can affect a person. Your testimony may be what they needed to hear.

I used the heartache of a bad break up and molded it into energy to light more fire under my creative soul. I knew at the end of 2007 that God had me on a time clock with Dallas and He would let me know when it was time to take my show on the road.

At the beginning of this year I was given my answer by God that it was time to start heading east. Changes at my job played a huge role in my decision. I was also missing the 5+ children that I have in my life growing up before my eyes. I didn’t want to miss my goddaughter’s senior year of high school, my godson/nephew Rahiem graduate from middle school, another beach loving summer with my nephew Dontae just to name a few. I decided to step out on faith and leave and try to work for my own. I secured contracts and my writing was on fire as I now featured at wonderful events. My small business of framed poetry was taking off both in Dallas and east coast. I knew I had to go back to the DC area because I had some unfinished business. It was time to take my talents and really go to another level from the east. DC is such a Mecca for the arts, urban scene and inspiration as we have a new leader of the free world President Obama.

Sometimes life will transform in front of your own very eyes. You don’t know why things are happening. Why you had to hit rock bottom financially or things didn’t go right at first but in the end you come out clearer with a crisp mind and clean spirit. As soon as I hit the east I began to get my financial house in order, my house back in TX looks like it will finally sell, getting on the scene to see how I can market myself as well as artists back in Dallas but here on the east. I saw my mother, grandmother, sister Christina and friends that I grew up with for the first time in 6.5 months. So many things came to light as I sat quiet and reflected on my journeys. Even some friends I had when I lived in DMV years ago aren’t in my circle any more. We grew a part as life took us different pathways. But I’m thankful for the new friends and paths both in TX , DC area and NYC. I even had some friends fall off the radar in TX before I left because they were judgmental or their paths didn’t link up with mine. Those I am close too and are true artists and love what they do regardless of your career, goals and dreams are going a lot of places and we are like minded. We have gifts from God that the world is going to see.

I felt compelled to write this blog because some people don’t understand why I moved and what caused it. I do miss Dallas so much. Mainly my friends, artists and writers that rock on many levels that it’s unbelievable. I’m now thirstier for what God has next in store for me and I want to use this opportunity to take those who want to go on the ride with me. So stay tuned for more creativity coming from yours truly and Dallas I miss you greatly. There is a very special place in my heart for the great things happening there and I will return to visit and do shows soon. But no matter where you live, if it’s your time to shine, take your talents to another level and even if it requires moving then don’t hesitate…motivate and make it happen. We only have one shot at life and you have to ask yourself…am I going to prevent myself from making my dreams happen or get on the bus to my future.

Symbol shown above is a West African Adinkra symbol for life transformation.

Father's Day Weekend Random Reflections (written on June 21st)

2009-06-23T17:24:00.000-04:00

As I listen to the sweet yet soulful voice of Deb Driscoll belting out, "I See Freedom, I See Freedom." I'm mellowed out. Its not your average fathers day weekend for me. I'm usually somber and somewhat depressed. But this weekend I got to work along side artists like Deb Driscoll who can belt out a Janis Joplin song to Nina Simone acapella, Matt Barron who can go from blues to a Bob Marley tune to the poetic genius of Michael Lagocki, to a visual explosion of artist Erica Davis.

It was a bitter sweet weekend as I performed for the last time as a Dallas resident at the ArtLoveMagic Fathers Day show on Saturday night at the Egg and I restaurant in Addison.

Bitter because I miss my Papa, bitter because I'll miss the creative collective that embraced my talents as a poet and writer. Sweetness as I head back east to the DC area, closer to family, work for myself as a contractor to nonprofits and continue making my dreams as a published author, reunite with long time friends and to the kids in my life.

Ahhhh the children in world are so sweet, busy and I love each of them. Such as Mr. Noah who may build an ark one day because he is so busy. Funny thing is he can't walk yet but keeps ya running! My friend Lia and Johnnie (Happy Belated Fathers Day Blaze) are moving back from Nicaragua the same time I move to VA and will have this ray of sunshine who makes my biological clock jiggle with his giggles!

One being this sweet guy here named Angel who will be 3. Character in his own right with a smile that will melt your heart.

Another being my cute nephew Dontae who is 7 going on 21. He's way too intelligent for his class and gets into trouble when he's not challenged (and he likes to talk a lot...I guess it runs in the family lol). But with a strong arm from his grandma, mom and titi Rena we will make sure he grows up to be the next Prez Obama.

To the grown, witty and sophisticated goddaughter of mine Kayla. Graduating from HS next year she has jumped many hurdles and overcome obstacles that the average almost 17 year old shouldn't face and can stand tall and say she is accomplishing her dreams by getting her education and applying for college.

Reflecting on my life in Dallas and all of my family and friends I sip on a sweet glass of Riesling as I nod my head to Aaron Garcia as he plucks those guitar strings as Deb mellows the audience with her soothing voice as she sings,"We let our own love fall behind, I'll be the first to reach out and touch your cheek" as I type stroke the keys on my blackberry making my own music called writing.

I'll miss these summer days listening to the artsy collective all over the city. On this fathers day weekend instead of moping around and feeling bad about my Papa not being here I'm happy that I'm able to share my love around the city and country through my lyrics and words. Thankful for the wonderful Dads that are in the lives of their children and for the kids and family in my life.

Today also marks the first day of summer solstice and my sista friend RiShana's birthday. RiShana has been my sista girl since 1993! Dynamic artist blossoming like wild flowers in the middle of a grassy field. Check her out around NYC through Pure LiT Productions and stay tuned for a collaboration piece soon.

Lastly today marks 9 years I met my fathers side. Ashamed growing up not knowing him wondering why he never acknowledged me. I remember this weekend in 2000 walking around the mall with my sister Shay Danee (hair stylist) and my older sister Jeannie. Shavonn I'm glad that our father had us so we could be sisters!

I always pray for Jeannie as she distanced herself from us not being able to embrace us. Its all good. God always has something planned and now that I'm 34 I can say I'm thankful the way life turned out. I'm thankful that Papa was the man in my life as he showed me true gentlemen hood, how a man should approach a lady and although quiet was full of knowledge.

Sitting on a comfy leather couch at Kelly's Eastside Restaurant in Plano, TX as Aaron Garcia takes over the mic while Deb is taking a much needed break I can honestly say this weekend has been peaceful and serene. Happy Fathers Day everyone! I hope your weekend was just as relaxing as mine turned out.

Have a Little Faith is Here for Purchase!!!

2009-06-17T22:38:00.000-04:00

Yes it's here! I'm blessed once again to be published in another anthology! Have a Little Faith edited by Vanessa Miller is a compelling book with various authors as we tell our stories of our journeys and how we made it with some faith! I have two pieces published. A poem titled, "God's Whisper" and a story titled, "Spiritual Awakening."

You can now purchase your copy by clicking on the Paypal link on my page to the left! The price is $14.95 which includes shipping and handling!

Again thank you for your continuous support! Also don't forget the first anthology I'm in titled, Gumbo for the Soul Here's Our Child Where's the Village that can be purchased on either Barnes and Noble or Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Gumbo-Soul-Heres-Child-Wheres-Village/dp/1440101264/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245292996&sr=8-1 or http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Gumbo-for-the-Soul/Beverly-Black-Johnson/e/9781440101267/?itm=8

Stay tuned for more details on the arrival of the third anthology I'm published in titled, How I Freed My Soul, Volume 1. Edited by Khadijah Ali-Coleman! Peace and blessings and thank you for your support!!!

Etsy Online Shop Updated with New Product for the Special Man in Your Life!

2009-06-13T16:24:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! I hope all is well on this beautiful Saturday! I updated my online shop to include my special edition Father's Day frames.

The featured poems in my shop are His Voice in Black and Walnut frames (please see image below) and God's Whisper (black flat classy frames). His Voice Black and Walnut frames are $20-$25 + shipping and handling. God's Whisper frames are $15-$20 + shipping and handling.

Buy one or more frames as a gift for your Dad, that special man in your life or a great father! I wrote His Voice to all of the men that are in my life whom have inspired me whether they are fathers or not (those who aren't will make terrific Dads one day)!!!!

If you have any questions email me at serenawills@yahoo.com All orders placed by 12pm Thursday, June 18th will be shipped that day for a Saturday delivery (right in time for Fathers Day)!

My online shop website is http://www.divinewryte.etsy.com/

Have a glorious day!!!!!

2009-06-04T01:20:00.000-04:00

I performed this piece tonight at the ArtLoveMagic open house in Deep Ellum. This is dedicated to all those who are trying to keep up with the Jones', forgetting about your loved ones and losing yourself in material things. As a wise woman once said...you may love it but you can't take it to the grave with you. Some choose money, cars and bling and wind up losing the love of their life. Not caring that their pipedreams are destoying their life. On that note I present to you...Bling Dreams!

Bling DreamS

He was a crack feen
Dope feen
Smoking that pipe
Called the American dream
He went from rags to riches
Thinking of cars, clothes and bitches
Pipe dreaming, smoking that pipe full of money, jewels and women
That can’t care for him
Or even dare to look out for a brother
Loving money, rims and bling cuff links
As he walks around dumb founded
The life he once envisioned
Has been clouded with selfish schemes
As he fulfilled his pipedreams
Thinking he went from ashy to classy
Accept the women weren’t calling you Big Daddy
Nope, not those who only see the money, paycheck and your cover up that you want to call life
As he battles internal demons
Dissin his friends who’ve been in his corner forever
Forgetting about those times he was admitted to the hospital
One time he didn’t have a dime and his friends got him out of trouble
We no longer fit into his bracket
That wanna be income level that you steadily waving in our faces
And it’s cool…just look to us when those demons come after you again
And again
And again
Keep smoking that crack pipe full of Blackberry’s or what I call Crackberry’s, wanna be important meetings, driving in a blinged out car while you still live with your parents
Check yourself before someone else does
You once saw me as your Queen
The one you wanted to share your dreams and goals with
Half on a baby and the house with the backyard
But
You tried to crush me as you made that move on up the corporate ladder
As you stopped taking those meds to even yourself out
Or was it the time you decided to move into the deluxe loft with that jacked up credit report
When we once envisioned the house with the white picket fence
You were high on yourself
Smelling yourself
And forgetting about all those who were in your corner
You forgot about me…
But this is my good bye letter to you
Cause I’m happier without ya
My dreams are real and my passions are being fulfilled
This is what we call life my brother
Realizing that I made a mistake
Instead of allowing Him to lead a man to me
I lead myself to you
Our paths never intertwined because I’m living life
As you are steadily
Smoking that crack pipe
Called material things
Trying to live in a bling dream
What you think is the American way
I’m letting go of my anger today…
You took too much of my time and it is time to let it go…
Just wake up brother
Wake up…before you lose more.

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills

All Rights are Reserved

Started October 26, 2007 and completed January 21st, 2008

Downward Spiral

2009-05-24T22:54:00.000-04:00

I was compelled to write something about an issue that has been burning inside of me. I hear about how someone's friend went back to a bad relationship and I shake my head having been there before. But when the person is going back to someone who was once abusive it's easy for me to say, "What's wrong with her? Does she not get it? He's going to do it again."

But when that someone is in your own backyard, amongst your circle you are left speechless. You can say don't go back, or why are you doing this to yourself again? But they have to want to leave. I was once told, "I wish I was as strong as you," from this person. Damn...what do you say to that. I told this young sista to not measure herself up to me. I'm on no one's pedestal. I've made mistakes in the relationship department dating the wrong person who I thought was right or thinking I could change them or he would change for me. I tried to build her up and then she asked me, "Did anyone ever hit you? I mean would you go back if they said they changed their ways..."

Again I was stumped. Here this younger sista looks up to me and I told her, "Yes I had an ex that tried to grab me." Notice the word tried. I was all of 17 years old in high school in the subway station when my ex wanted to be a big man and tell me to not go to my basketball game (the play offs at that). I told him I gotta go and he proceeded to grab my arms. Everytime I moved he threw me up against the metal bars of a NYC subway station. Enough was enough. I don't know where the strength came from but I threw him off of me and we were throwing blows until the cops jumped in and held him back.

I was shocked, I never thought I would have to fight a man off of me. But I did. Did I go back to him. "Nope." I'm so thankful I was strong enough to say no to him after he called me months later stating how he changed. Well this changed brother got hung up on and then I heard shortly after he was locked up on drug charges. His spots never changed...

This younger sista is beautiful and talented but she went back to her ex again after he hit her, grabbed her, not having a job all to say, "But he's changed."

It's only been two months since the break up, he didn't change. As a wise woman once told me, "A leopard never changes their spots."

I only hope, pray and wish that this young sista would wake up and see how beautiful she is, gifted by His glory, talented, and is full of life. But somewhere she wants this man so much that she thinks she can change him.

According to the National Coalition of Domestic Violence they states:

One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
85% of domestic violence victims are women.
Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.
Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.

I once visited a recovery center and talked to women who kept going back to him after getting beaten. They said, "He wasn't like this before, I thought I could change him. I stayed and drank the pain away or got high so it wouldn't hurt so much."

Their self esteem had been beaten as they hung their heads low. Underneath the scars and tattered clothes stood a Queen, they couldn't see it yet but I could. Some of these women had degrees, MBA's, etc so status/education means nothing when it comes to how much they wanted to change their man.

Sadder part is most of these women had young children in the household then they were hit.

According to the same source the following can happen to youth:

Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.
Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.

All of us may either know someone who has or still is going through this or knows someone that knows a person. One of my cousins said it best the other day, "Stop reaching downward in the gutter and reach high for your King." Brothers like this give real brothers (the ones I talked about in my poem His Voice) a bad rap. Not realizing that all men aren't the same.

I wrote this piece hoping I could inspire this young lady as I pray for her continually. I knew he was back in her life when she distanced herself yet again from me. It was as if I could feel her spirit shift from the 1,300+ miles away.

Would you go back if he said he changed? What would you say to uplift this young sista and others that are going through this?

Some never made it out as they lie in a grave. Shed some love for her and those who are stuck on the line, "But he changed, things will be better, he only hit me twice, it won't happen again..."

Praying that they see that his leopard spots haven't changed. Can he change...yes but he has to want to do it for himself, his creator and realize that he has a problem. Until he does...those spots aren't moving and you need to go forward with life and not be stuck or worst off...end up in a grave way before your time.

For more information on this topic you can log onto http://www.ncadv.org/

Peace...

Cube Life

2009-05-21T16:42:00.000-04:00

This is dedicated to everyone who either is working in a cubicle or has in the past. It's not a great place sometimes. So I decided in my cube today to write a piece about my life in the cube. Enjoy and laugh!

Cube Life
I am in a cubicle
No door…no shelves…anything to call my own
I am in a shared space
Speaker phones blaring
Coughing, hacking and sneezing next to me
Personal calls on full blast
Living in the land of the show “Office Space”
20 people having a cube party
Someone sleep under their desk
While I’m trying to do some work and keep my cool
Working out of a box
As toxic breath and air crawls across the air vents
People with offices who have no shame
To keep their doors wide open
So I can hear their lame conversations
With yet another funder
Who doesn’t want to cut the check
Or a honey what’s for dinner did you let the dog out
Like I really care
Dilbert’s land…
Easily 10 people at any given time working around me
Getting louder by the second, minute, hour
As I begin to become uneasy
Flickering lights from the ceiling
Maintenance climbing on my desk yet again
Trying to fix the problem when it’s not the bulb
But electrical wiring instead
Lacking privacy
People following
Me down to my cube
When I haven’t even put my bag down
And turned the damn computer on
Question after question about an email
Never receiving one because you are still asking
When I haven’t even gotten a simple hello
My life in the cube world
Not the glamorous one
As bosses try to inflict us with pain
By adding more cubicles by the day
Week after week I feel like there is a hidden camera in the corner of the office
Cracking open my laptop as I hear
Voices getting louder
Speaker conversations going on
Same cubicle party still popping
Same dude still coughing
You Tube watchers slowing down the server
Broken heart singing that sad love song to their love no more
On speaker phone
Sigh
Welcome to my life
Cubicle life…
One of many
Unfortunately more people that have to deal with it

Dedicated to all of those that are cursed by cubicle life who are about to go stir crazy!

Abundant Love...Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T10:06:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone and Happy Mother's Day to the Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, Sisters, Godmothers and all women who impact or have impacted childrens lives!!!! It's because of the strong women such as yourselves that we are encouraged as a people to move forward and give back to the next generation.

This poem is dedicated to all those women and especially to my diamond, my love, my Iya, Marguerite "Sauti" Wills. The picture on the left is from 1984 when she brought home my sister Ayana from the hospital. She is so loving that she opened up her heart and home to adopt Ayana and my youngest sister Christina! I love you Ma!

Abundant Love

Her touch and embrace
As she wiped the tears from my face
Holding me tightly whispering, “It’s going to be okay”
Cleaning the dirt away from my scars
I remember those days
When Mama would make everything feel like brand new
Between cuts, scrapes, bruises on my skin from falling on my knees yet again
Mom has a tender touch as she told me to hold on tight
The sudden burn disappeared as Bactine was sprayed on my wound
In between sobs saying, thank you Mommy
Always wiping away the pain whether it was a scrape on my elbow
Or another love that didn’t go
In the direction that I thought it would be
Times when I couldn’t understand what was happening to me
Laughing now cause I was going through mere puberty
Causing her drama
But all mama could say was
Everything is going to be okay
Mothers have a way with words like no other
To this day I’m amazed of your strength and often wonder
How did we make it through
I love you
For being my warrior, knight in shining armor, pillars in my temple
Tending to my every sniffle, sneeze, fever, body ache and shiver
Raising all three on faith, hope, love
Reminding me that we were no one’s charity case
I still hold tight to the memories
How you struggled to raise us
Yet no matter what jokes were made by cruel kids my age
You would stroke my cheek and say
Better days are coming our way
Somehow you managed to pull another smile out of me
Mama, my Iya, Sauti my love
I can say on and on how much I love and adore you
Worship the ground you walk on and I feel
It still wouldn’t be enough
Relationship like no other
Blessed to call and have you as my mother
God had a master plan and although times were tough
You made it work for us
And this Mothers day
I salute you and every other mother
By simply stating, I love you

Happy Mother’s Day!

Copyright 2009 Serena Wills

All Rights are Reserved

Happy Birthday Ayana!

2009-05-09T17:23:00.000-04:00

I wrote this piece last week on my sister Ayana's birthday while in Nicaragua. Enjoy.

Sitting out in my friend’s backyard gazing at the palm trees and the red flowers that are blooming in Managua, Nicaragua on my sister Ayana’s 26th birthday brings mixed emotions. I’m happy that I’m celebrating her birthday but saddened that it’s my families second year without her being here with us. Ayana passed away September 22nd, 2007 due to her numerous medical complications at the age of 24. Doctors told us when she was born to my Aunt Doretha who later died of AIDS that Ayana wouldn’t see the age of 2. God showed them.

My Mother adopted my baby sis not wanting her to be in the institutions that they would have stuck her in. Although Ayana couldn’t walk, talk or do anything for herself due to the severity of her brain damage but she had a spirit full of life. I can’t explain it but I know what unconditional love feels like from being in her presence. Her eyes lit up my life and her gorgeous smile made me happy even on my darkest days.

So I decided to take a trip to visit friends this year and for some reason every time I scheduled to come to Nicaragua my schedule would get hectic or my money would be funny. When I woke up this morning I knew that Ayana wanted me here on her birthday to see the beautiful mountains, the breath taking Lake Managua that goes on for miles, palm trees and plants that I’ve never seen before. She wanted me to experience new adventures and embark on another journey.

One thing that kept a smile on my face during this time besides spending time with Lia and her husband Johnnie is the smile of their son Noah’s face. His spirit is so full of life and his giggles make my biological clock jiggle. I was supposed to be around new life instead of mourning the death of my sister’s life. I sense Ayana here, she wants to be celebrated and when I smell the fresh flowers in the air out here in Central America I know it’s her swirling around me.

I know she is free and doing all things that she could never do. Even looking at Noah I remember that Ayana could never crawl or take baby steps. All of the things that he’s doing. His language is increasing as he can understand both English and Spanish. A lot of times grownups get stuck on what and who has been lost instead of celebrating new life or the fact that they woke up this morning and in my case writing this story in one of the most scenic and serene backyards that I’ve personally seen at peace.

I know Lia and Johnnie felt bad that they had to work but if anything the time I have alone (well I also have a little 10 month old at my side named Noah) gave me time to reflect and write. Get things in order, pray and meditate more, prepare mentally for my next journey which is my move back east. This week I was forced to stay still for a little bit and everyone needs that time. Their internet was down and I didn’t even freak out about, no one has access to my cell phone because I didn’t select the international package. So the inaccessibility has been a pure joy.

Ayana Doretha Wills will always be missed, life is hard when you’re asked how’s all of your sisters, or how many do you have and that dreadful answer escapes my mouth that I have 4, one is deceased. But I have prayed on it and I know it was her time to go with her failing health and those bright eyes fading away as they didn’t have the same spark in them. God has healed me, I didn’t want to be stuck on mourning my sister’s life and she didn’t want me too either. But I certainly miss her. I now know she is able to travel, walk, talk, embrace, kiss loved ones and breathe without machines. No more beeping sounds panicking when they would slow down or flat line because she stopped breathing a couple of times. She is whole and at peace.
I’m at peace as I gaze into Noah’s eyes and watch him bounce up and down when I walk into a room. Nicaragua has quieted my spirit as I was working triple time and didn’t have a quiet moment to think about my move to Northern VA in the summer. It has helped prepare me for the next chapter in life which will bless me even more and my guardian angel named Ayana will see to it.

Lia and Johnnie thank you for opening your doors to me and Mr. Noah thanks for letting (Aunty Re) hug and kiss up on you. He reminded me that one day I will be blessed with children. Lia and Johnnie you both are an inspiration to me as I thought after my last relationship that I was done trying but now I know it’s not up to me and God wants me to be blessed with a husband who will care for me like Johnnie does for you Lia, a beautiful family and to have a closeness that you both share with your son Noah.

Stained Glass

2009-04-24T19:30:00.000-04:00

My time flies, just last year I was sending Amma a sympathy card telling her how sorry I was about her losing her husband, our friend Brian West not knowing that days later in late April after wishing Max a happy birthday on Facebook that I would be sending yet another sympathy card. It's still a shock that two great and beautiful brothers passed last year. I wrote this piece on the plane in 2008. I dedicate this to my Soror Amma and Sista Eileen (please someone pass onto Eileen), to all the loved ones of Brian's and Max's. RIP my brothas. This piece is called Stained Glass.

Stained Glass

God ease the pain
Of my mourning, suffering, grieving and strain
Moving closer to the day
When I say good bye to my beloved
It was just passed Saturday when I saw him last
Face gleaming as those eyes pierced through me
Loving every moment I spent with thee
As I grabbed his hand and with a passionate kiss telling him, “I love you”
Watching him stroll out the front door not knowing it would be my last
By nightfall I felt a heavy rain through my spirit
I began to cry as I thought back to how much I love him
And can’t wait to spend the rest of life with the man of my dreams
The love of my life
But something didn’t feel right
I couldn’t see clearly as I tried to wash away the sudden tears
Vision becoming blurry
As the phone rang out
As I ran to it in fear
With the short words a voice whispered, “He is gone.”
Not comprehending as my heart began to palpitate
The voice of his friend grew a little louder
“I am so sorry he is gone.”
The rain in my spirit turned into a storm as I felt the thunder boom through my heart
My beloved died and God I ask you why
Did you take him away from me we were never supposed to part
The voice on the other end was one of his best friends
As I tried to focus on the words I couldn’t understand
Comprehension was as blurry as my vision
Not being able to see clearly
There were no signs or implications
Of this sudden complication that took you away from me
Standing before thee
What I wouldn’t give to see those bright eyes gaze at me
Tears streaming like the Nile River
Although I have faith in God
And I trust you Lord
I had to wonder
Why did my man have to die and so suddenly
Without an inkling of anything wrong
Standing before him I fell to my knees in front of his casket as I began to whisper
“Good bye my love and know I will love you always until the day I am called home.”
Tears streaming
Screaming
Crying louder
Holding on for dear life
I heard a whisper
“You are my child and I will comfort you during this time of mourning.”
Not understanding I stood up and walked back to my seat as I heard yet another whisper
“Baby I love you and will be near.”
Shaking my head as I looked around
I heard your voice but no where to be found
As I walked into my empty place I once called home
Place of solitude and somewhere I can mourn
Life feels like stained glass
Looking through it is not clear to me anymore
One day I pray that my life will seem clear again
But until then I will continue to pray
As my movements through the day are slow
Hoping that someday I have an answer to your departure
But always know that I love you, miss you and praying
God will wash the stain glass
So life will be clear for me once more

Written By:

Serena Wills

May 3, 2008

Matthew: 5:4 “Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted.”

Dedicated to Soror Amma Tanksley-West and Sista Eileen.

Dedicated to two great brothers that we lost..Brian West and Max Osiris Finley…God bless.

Copyright Serena Wills 2008

All Rights are Reserved

Da Flip...a piece about teen pregnancy

2009-04-19T15:35:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone! Here is my weekly post in honor of National Poetry month. I wrote this poem when a young girl in my life, close to me had her son. She was only 13 when she delivered a healthy baby boy. She's smart, intelligent, beautiful, but somewhere we lost her in the world.

According to a research study on http://www.pregnantteenhelp.org/ "As of 2004, the number of live births to teenage mothers across the United States was 415,408. And the number of births to teenagers in the United States aged 15-19 was 41.2 out of a 1,000."

That was almost half a million a year in the United States alone.

Now what is baby girl doing you may ask??? She's an advocate to other teens about getting caught up, using protection and how her life will never be the same. She is a fortunate one as she still brings home A's and B's, is applying to private universities in NYC and didn't catch an STD, HIV or worst...AIDS. Talk to your teen and get all up in their business, there is no such thing as privacy with them. This is real!

So this piece is dedicated to her and her mother and it's titled, "Da Flip."

Da Flip!

This is how I feel
Your life has been flipped upside down
360 degrees
You didn’t ask for it, you didn’t want it
The confusion that has commenced over night
But it’s hear and there is no need to fuss and fight
It’s here and you didn’t want it
Your life got flipped upside down
360 degrees
Because she wasn’t careful
She wasn’t careful
See baby girl was confused
And as her mama sang the blues
And Daddy went to prison
She was in a state of confusion and needed intervention
Your life ain’t same
And believe me this ain’t no game
See baby girl found the answers
When she looked for love in all the wrong places
Nine months went by
Without one inkling of a sign
She hid this one real well
And now your life has been turned into something else
Our precious baby had a baby
And there was no room for intervention
No protection
Why didn’t she talk to us
Why didn’t she reach out
We gave her the talk and went right out of her mind
We should have been there
Too damn busy dealing with our messes
Just assumed she wouldn’t look for love in all the wrong places
She told us she was a virgin
“No Mommy I don’t want to have sex”
And we believed her
And adored her as we knew we raised her right
But we lost her
Somewhere we lost her
At the sweet age of 13
She gave birth
As you held her hand for dear life
As she screamed and screamed
And gave new life
You looked down at her as you rubbed her head
Wondering what would have happened if she never told
Even though it was just 48 hours ago
“Mommy, I did a terrible thing.”
As you saw the pain
You knew what she had done
No words needed to be spoken from that point on
Before you could even make an appointment
He came and there was your grandson
We should have been there
Why didn’t she even tell us
My best friend was a Grandmother at 32
Baby’s raising babies
Grandmothers raising grandkids
No love lost but the trust is gone
The trust is gone people
How can I trust…
I believed her…I wanted too…God I believed her…
But she lied to us
She was so so scared
But now she has to raise a baby in this cold world
We are losing our children to pressure
To ill conceptions
World issues
To street demons
We are losing them…and we need to ask ourselves what are we gonna do…

Copyright 2009 Serena Wills

All Rights are Reserved

God's Whisper

2009-04-12T15:30:00.000-04:00

Happy Easter everyone! In honor of National Poetry month I told people that I would post a new piece every Sunday in April. With today being Easter I thought this poem was appropriate. I wrote this piece after reading an inspiring book by Dr. Bessie Blake titled Speak to the Mountain. After reading the book in less than a week I wrote this piece as I was going through some dark moments in my life and was walking towards seeing out of it into the light. I hope this poem can encourage someone today. Peace and blessings.

God's Whisper

Listen
Listen
Listen
God spoke to me
In my darkest hour
In a whisper
As I cried for days and nights
I finally heard His voice
I began to quiet my spirit as the loud sobs turned into whimpers
A voice so softly
So gently
At the midnight hour
Told me
“I will get you through
Speak to the mountains in your life my child
Tell them your problems, talk to THEM
Declare to me that you will get through this and let me inside
Look out into the dark night my child and know I will get you over
the mountains
SPEAK TO IT
As the voice grew it shouted louder
SPEAK TO IT!"
As the dawn arose I awoken to feeling the Holy Spirit blanket me
A shield of protection as my heart began to get lighter
I began singing and praising His name
As the sun began to shine and the clouds cleared in my life
I just lifted my hands and shouted Thank You
It felt so wonderful to shout so I did it again as I yelled even louder
Thank You Jesus!
I spoke to the mountain asking for God to forgive those that trespassed against me
I spoke the other mountain as I asked God to forgive me for I have sinned
Praying for a new day and a lighter soul
At that moment I forgave my enemies
It was that moment that I left my past behind me
I now lived for the future and prayed for those I left on the mountain
Not everyone can walk with you on your spiritual journey
Not everyone can walk the same path to the same beat as you
In that waking moment I knew I was FREE!
Free from emotional distress
Free from having my spirit enslaved
Free from mental bondage
I was FREE!
Speak to me Lord
Thank You
Speak to me God
Thank you God
Thank you for getting me over the mountains in my life

Dedicated to those who have never spoken to the mountains in their life. Speak to them and may God lead you down your righteous path.

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Faith in the Valley

2009-04-08T16:27:00.000-04:00

I wrote this piece the night President Obama won the election. In honor of National Poetry Month I will post a poem every Sunday. Since I missed this passed Sunday this will be my first post and this Sunday you'll see another (two for one). This historic night rang through my spirit as I witnessed with thousands of people at Friendship West Baptist Church that night. People were crying, falling to their knees thanking God and the elders raised their hands high as they didn't think that they would ever see this happen. Enjoy my piece titled, "Faith in the Valley."

Change was made tonight
United country we stood
Strive to vote for change
All races, creed, religions
Came together
And jumped from a crumbling foundation
Of what was the past
And took a leap of faith onto a concrete future
God showed me
What true faith is
Believing in Him and never taking your eye off of your Father
We struggled, have been impoverished and beaten down
Some thought God can’t be around
He wouldn’t allow this to happen to His people
But we went through strife and pain
So when the struggle is over we will regain
As he doesn’t want us to get into a habit of maintaining
Any faith that was lost
I’ll be able to tell my children “Si se puede”
Strive for the best and know
Sky’s the limit
Our ancestors, elders made this path for us
One stepped out of the crowd and had faith
And with his prayer warriors and belief in Him
He won the fight and got in
A man who could look me into the eye and relate to me…to us
Everything he says touches my heart
But one speech resonates with me apart from all…
DNC night he said, “I only met my father once while I was 10, I believe his absence shaped the person that I am today.”
Room went silent
Heavy tears flowed
He was talking to me
All the years and I now know
I am who I am partly because of his absence
Could’ve went the other way and strayed
But his absence and my Mothers strong arm helped me to stay
Grounded, focused and simply astounded
That our President can relate to me, we…all
The struggle isn’t over
Time to work
As we become
A united front

Copyright 2009 Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Breeze of Inspiration

2009-03-22T18:12:00.001-04:00

What an incredible week...as I sit here listening to my girl Iris Leu live at Borders Books. Her voice is so pure that anyone would become simply inspired by her smooth lyrics as she makes love to the piano keys. (You did great today Iris)!

This week holds such a creative imprint on my soul. I felt as if my week started on Thursday night when I was a featured poet at the South Dallas Cultural Center (SDCC) then continued on Friday night when I heard one of the toughest bands perform in Dallas called Melody Memory who played the jump off from the Roots, "The Next Movement" one of my favorite hip hop tracks to get hype...continuing on to Saturday at MINC night club where ArtLoveMagic brought it with live artists, painters, creating magic in the space and the spoken word jam with the poets then ending on a high note on Sunday listening to renowned artist Carolyn Mazloomi talk to just a handful of us about the ups and downs with publishing and all her knowledge on the subject! Whew!

So as I sit here concluding my day listening to Iris Leu I reflected on Thursday night. I was blessed to be a featured poet at SDCC for Women's History Month! This place is truly a jewel in the community and my second home. When you walk in the building you feel like you've been transported to cities like NYC, Philly, DC, LA and even Johannesburg, SA with the cultural flavor! But no it's right here in Dallas! They spread cultural experiences through the arts and pay attention to African American heritage to uplift the people.

As the Black Box theater echoed the sounds of Jill Scott's Crown Royal song all those who had an intense work week suddenly fell into another dimension called the world of poetry! The red and purple lights soothed me as I was immediately put into the zone.

I was so humbled to have a few friends come out and support me (thanks to all of you)! A couple even blessed the mic! As the evening went on I was amazed by the young men who came from the Catrell House facility that blessed the mic and shared their stories of both their good and bad journeys. Catrell House is housed in Dallas and serves as a place for teen boys who have been locked up, detention, and basically sent to the system. The staff believe in exposing their young men to the arts and other venues to teach them that they can have creative outlets.

The moment finally came when I was introduced. I already felt inspired by all the poets before me and was energized. It was hard picking out which five pieces to do. I did Divine Mold first as I told the audience I wrote this piece a year ago when I was upset that a brother that I was digging not only wasn't digging me...but was feeling my friend. Oh no! So after I wrote an angry/depressing poem I went to bed that night. At 6:30am on Sunday morning I woke up and wrote Divine Mold. I knew God had someone in store for me after writing this piece...

I then went into my newest piece titled, "His Voice." I first posted this on FB a couple of weeks ago. This piece is dedicated to my true men...the troopers. This is my first piece about how much I love a true and worthy man! I've learned over time that not every man ladies and gentlemen are cut from the same piece of cloth. This piece also depicts the man that God will bless me with one day...

Okay breathe....as I'm going off on this keyboard so full of excitement about the week...okay second half.

So the second half of the open mic was full of more great poets and I felt the electricity in the air! I had to gear up as I now had to do three pieces of poetry. The next piece pulled heart strings as I knew it would titled, "Da Flip." It's about a young teenage mother and her young grandmother (35 to be exact) and how life can turn in another direction when our babies aren't careful. Beautiful and brilliant young girl...who made a choice that she now has to live with forever. We all get CAUGHT UP, but some of us don't get caught as this young lady did. Her son is turning three this year and she's going to college next year as she's learned a valuable lesson in life.

Tears formed in my eyes but I couldn't cry...I still had two more pieces. I think poets should have what I call, "Interludes" heck musicians have em why not us ;-) so Reconstruction is my poetic interlude. It helps shift direction as I talk about how people have to be put back together as they either fell or were taken a part. Once we are reconstructed we are stronger than ever! Once the shift occurred I was able to end the night with Nubian Woman (one of my favorites and a signature piece). I told the audience that once God reconstructed me I was now a Strong Nubian Woman!

I know this blog is long but folks back home asked me to recreate what they naturally missed and I was so hype over this week and Thursday that I had to obey the command.

So the night ended with me feeling refocused and re-energized! I knew I had to get my poetry into a book and out into the universe soon! But what I heard when it was over I wasn't prepared for...

A couple of young men approached me. One in particular. He said, "Ms. Serena I want to thank you for that piece Da Flip. I'm 16 and have 3 children and I promise that I will be a father to them."

I wish the young lady I talked about could hear him as a couple of others thanked me for that piece and "His Voice". You never know who you're touching and affecting until it hits you. He shook my hand and I only pray that when this young man is released in three weeks that he will be a productive citizen and a father to his children.

I was grateful to have sold three framed poems that night as my friend Damion asked me for my autograph on the poem itself. So as I took the piece out of the frame a sista walked up to me and asked to buy two frames and, "Yes I want you to sign them too."

Ahhhhhh, thank you for making a sista feel good y'all! Trust me people I will never let my head get big. I just want to do what God blessed me with and pursue my love and passion of writing! Thanks to all the supporters and the South Dallas Cultural Center (Vicki, Harold and Tisha) for having me that night.

Be inspired, open your eyes and mind to all that life has to offer...peace!

His Voice...A Piece for the Men

2009-03-08T14:25:00.000-04:00

Alright men! Let me know your thoughts...dedicated to the true men in my life and those making a positive impact in the world ;-) Love y'all!!!!

His Voice
Dedicated to the true man…

Intellectual
Harmonious
Melody
Depicts a man’s strong voice
Who isn’t afraid to think
Encourage
And motivate your whole thought process
Mover and shaker
Building a foundation for his family
Spiritual leader and the healer for his wife
Partner in someone’s wildest dreams
Intervenes when he needs
Peace and unity in his circle and life
This goes out to the true man
Hardcore worker
Back breaker
Peacemaker
Lover
One who fills my soul with his mere intellect
He turns my spirit on in such a way
When he gets down on his knees and simply prays
Honest and truthful
God’s divine model
Of what a true man possesses
Aware of his Creator and who’s really in charge
Father to his kids and sometimes others
Beautiful son to his mother and elders
Embraces his culture
Open mindedness to what life has to offer
Doesn’t mess around or toys with anyone’s feelings
Man of God, truth and justiceTrue King in my eyes
As he walks with no fear to protect his community
Leaving me to simply love thee
This goes out to the true man
Not everyone can raise their hand
And fill his shoes
He’s no one’s boy
Done with those days of playing
As he bends down and kneels
Praying for the little boys in the streets to grow up
Taking their place in society
Voicing concern to those who think they’re real men
But they aren’t as he strives to inspire
All those he touches
Knowing his passions and calling
This is dedicated to the true and worthy men…thank you

Copyright 2009 Serena Wills
All Rights Reserved

Our Father is Gone

2009-03-04T22:01:00.000-05:00

Our father Wendell Hayes passed away nine years ago this week. It may sound crazy but although I never knew him I still loved him. It takes two and as I look as his pictures and hear the good things about him I'm glad that he wasn't all bad.

A brother confused not wanting to step up to responsibility. But all in all...I forgave him after I received word in May of 2000 after my mothers friend running into an old friend of my Dad's that he passed away just two months prior of lung cancer. I was devastated. How could I be mad at someone who was dead? I had to let it go and told him in my prayers, "Father I forgive you, rest in peace." Never laying eyes on him, hearing his voice, listening to him play the drums (which is how he met my Mom) or feeling his embrace I would never know physically how he was or felt.

His death opened up doors to another world...my other half. I have two more sisters and a brother. My older sister who shall remain nameless doesn't recognize myself nor my other sister by my father Shavonn. I pray for her and hope one day our brother Marcus who we have not a clue as to where he is will surface in God's time.

I'm happy that before he passed away he was counseling other men and women who were drinking and drugging like he used too. He was also a motivational speaker and although I call my Creator God he called his Allah as he found Islam in prison. He turned it around, but at 53 he was taken away...

I wrote this piece nine years ago and it's titled, "Our Father is Gone."

Ase to the elders that have passed, Ase to our father Wendell Hayes, Ase, Ase, Ase.

Our Father is Gone

“This is for our father. Dedicated to Wendell Hayes.”

A brother has passed
His soul lie between two worlds
He went out so fast that he still thinks he is here
His spirit is confused as to why no one is acknowledging him
When he speaks to people they keep walking
When his name comes up his children cry
WHY! He screams, IS NO ONE PAYING ME ANY MIND
If only he knew he has passed
As he begins to see the light and his life pass before him
It is becoming clearer as he sees his children light a candle and pray as one
ONE
They were never one until he had passed
All got different Mama’s but got the same daddy
Close in age but never grew together as ONE
It took him to die for them to find one another
Tragedy took place and instead of mourning I rejoice
Out of pain, he is at PEACE
No more disease, drinking and drugging
Beautiful Black Man Tell Me Why!
Why did you have to die so soon before your time?
Only the Creator knows that answer
For He will give this Black Man strength to be a father to his children
But from the other side
He can guide them through the storm, move obstacles out of the way
As I hear the talking drums from above I know it is he that is blessing me
I hear the Djembe drums at night and I know it is he that is calling me
Telling me
I’m sorry for what I have done
I’m sorry for leaving you like this
Not knowing me
ALL my life I have been looking for this Black Man and I found him
Gone
His spirit lives on through his children
But tell me WHY BLACK MAN
Why did you not recognize me?
I feel stronger cause you see…a part of him always knew me
He couldn’t admit his mistakes
It took him to die in order for me to forgive
A Strong Black Man died y’all and for what?
His lifestyles caught up
But his memory lives on
As I hear the talking drums play
I hear his hands hitting on the Djembe
As he sings an African tune to me from the heavens
DID y’all hear me
A strong BLACK MAN has died
And has gone on his way
He realizes that BLACK MAN IZ GOD
It took him to die and roam the earth to figure it out
He always had God within him and never knew it
A strong and powerful man is gone
Walked off into the sunset to join his parents above
Now they all look down and wonder why
WHY DID WE HAVE TO DIE?
As the families mourn and rejoice too
Mourn his death but bless their reunion which is long over due
Over due by twenty five years
Acceptance is not easy amongst our people
Acceptance is not easy when there are unanswered questions
The man who died has our answers
Why did he die I ask my creator?
Another one gone before his time
As I pray to the spirits and ancestors for his safe journey
And wish that I knew he
People I mourn his death
BUT REJOICE THE LIVING
Rejoice the union of my family
As we look at one another
And become ONE…

Copyright 2000 Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Sweet Love Jones...The Remix!

2009-02-14T22:36:00.000-05:00

If songs could have remixes why not poetry? I wrote this piece in 2002 and rewrote it last month. I decided to post it today in honor of Valentines Day. I performed this piece at the infamous "Underground Show" in Dallas, TX on January 31st. The original is posted on my blog as well but this one is more crisp. Enjoy and Happy Valentines Day (remember everyday should be Valentines...love each other always and not just once a year). Peace!

Sweet Love Jones…remix

I gotta a love jones
And it jumped into my soul
I don’t know how to explain it
Or how I’ve even obtained it
It’s a feeling only one would know
When they’re in love
This erotic feeling has made it’s way through my bones
I can only show to him
You begin to wonder and search for answers as to why you feel electric within
And when you are intertwining and unwinding with your man
Emotions jet out like a racing stream right before the waterfall
There’s no control over these emotions that flood your spirit
As my man whispers in my ear to give it to him all night
My body melts and my soul is awakened by the sound of his voice
His tender but hard strokes makes me know how much he loves me
When a man can stroke your intelligence
Feed your spirit and stroke ya right
What more could you want from this King
I watch him sleeping
Knowing that
I’m dancing through his dreams
As we lay underneath the sun rising
Listening to the sweet birds chirping
I thank God for yet another day
As the morning grows
I begin to moan as my baby wakes me up the right way
Nothing like a sweet love jones
Overtaking my soul
As I walk through this trip leading me to ecstasy

Revised: January 7th, 2009

Copyright Serena Wills 2009
All Rights Reserved

Tia's Way by Guest Blogger Priscilla Wiggins

2009-02-09T16:37:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone! This is my first guest blogger and it's heavy. I read this post on my friend Brooke's blog and damn near cried. Priscilla Wiggins lost her friend Tia at the age of 28 to cervical cancer. This cause is near and dear to me for a couple of reasons. I was spared. Yes that's right. I was a victim of HPV not once but twice! HPV is a leading cause of cervical cancer...an STD that can hide for a long time and then unmask itself. At 20 and 26 I was spared and it was caught and I had to go through two not so comfortable procedures. So people get tested, make your partner get tested for any and all STD's and if they don't want too then he/she can step. Please learn from this blog and get educated. Now introducing Priscilla Wiggins blog called Tia's Way....

So now she’s dead.

Yep dead.

All the drugs, all the surgeries – still dead.

All our tears, all our memories – still dead.

One of my dearest friends of 15 years died of cervical cancer on September 25, 2008 at 2:30am. It was senseless, it was stupid, it was hurtful - it is hope.

It is hope because I’m determined to make it that way. So like many others who’ve lost a loved one, I’ve worked with her mother to create a foundation, Tia’s Way (http://www.tiasway.com/).
Tia's Way is dedicated to promoting awareness and education about cervical cancer. Another important part of our efforts will be providing assistance for women who are uninsured and under-insured. One trip to CVS to fill prescriptions for Tia was $700 with insurance! For YEARS Tia was told she had fibroids, when all along cancer was raging inside her body. By the time the cancer was discovered, it had metastasized to her lungs and left hip.

So what now... Cancer doesn’t strike 28 year old's right? At least not Stage IV, inoperable, incurable, "you have 6 months to live" cancer. I mean we hear stories all the time about people passing from this horrible disease, but it’s always in Utah or Wisconsin - not in my inner circle. Except this time, it was in my circle and it came hard. Radiation, Chemo, CyberKnife Surgery, Hypercalcemia, Pleural Effusions, DNR. A whole new language we had to learn.

Some days she felt like fighting; some days she felt like enough was enough. For so long we just accepted, “she had fibroids” - all the "what if's." What if we’d pushed for more testing? What if we didn’t just blindly listen to the doctors? What if we’d gotten a second opinion? I can't tell you how many times they sent Tia home just thinking she wanted pain meds when all along she was dying of cancer! But thinking about the end makes me think about the beginning.

Tia was FIERCE! You hear me? Put a pair of heels on that girl and she could walk Naomi Campbell off the runway. She loved clothes and fashion. I could send her to the mall for me, and she would come back with the perfect outfit with matching "this and that" and a way to switch it up for next time! lol.

You know that person who is everyone’s best friend? That was Tia. You know that person who is everyone’s big sister? That was Tia. With all that being said, she was taken to soon. We wanted to be the old chicks at the club together! So the only way to get over the pain has been to pour ourselves into making her fight mean something.

I have my own marketing company and totally donated all the design, domain name and server space to make this project work. It's a drop in the bucket compared to what I would like to do.

Did you know that caught early, cervical cancer is completely curable?

This means not another friend, daughter, sister or mother has to die.

Did you know that African American women die of cervical cancer at double that of other races? These stats are the same for almost every other cancer, shame on us. We are uninsured, under-insured and uneducated on our rights. We have got to get it right and soon.

Did you know that 95% of all cervical cancers start with HPV/genital warts?

This means it’s preventable.

Did you know you can still get genital warts even if you use a condom?

HPV/genital warts is a skin disease, so to put it plainly: all the skin down under that isn't covered– could be a transmittal of HPV.

So check out the website, learn about cervical cancer, see if the HPV Vaccine is right for you and tell a friend! If any of you are so inclined to purchase something from the Cafepress store, 100% of every penny goes to helping the cause – things like flyers, permit costs for events, helping needy women pay medical bills, etc.

I hope you all learned something today! If any of you would like more information or are interested in helping, (something as small as putting a post on your blog about it helps us) please contact me at mailto:hpwiggins@whbconsultants.com-Priscilla

Buy Framed Poetry on my Etsy Shop!!!!

2009-02-09T16:02:00.000-05:00

Yes my shop is finally open for business! Check out my framed poems on http://www.divinewryte.etsy.com/

I uploaded a couple of my love poems titled Sweet Love Jones and Good Ole Lovin' and also one encouraging poem titled Divine Mold as well. Buy a frame or two for yourself or that special person in your life.

I went to a vendor fair on Saturday and so many people kept asking me if my frames were available online. So between last night and today I got a few uploaded. I already have some views on the page. I also have one order that came in at the fair for four frames which was great!!!! And one woman said, "Ooooh I wish you had 11x14 frames. So stay tuned for that size coming soon!

So in the meantime check it out and support my dreams of getting my writing into the hands of people that need it.

Peace!

Rejuvenated!

2009-02-08T21:04:00.001-05:00

The end of January was absolutely incredible! On January 29th I went to the Janette Kennedy Gallery in Dallas, TX to the Underground preview show. I was nervous at the fact that in two short days the gallery and outside hallway would be filled with people all over the place, artists making their art come to life and I being one of the featured poets that night.

But on the 29th I saw something that I never dreamed of. As I walked into the gallery there was art hanging from the ceiling, ceramics held their place on tall pillars, abstract photographs accented the walls and there towards the front of the room stood a wall. My eyes welled up with tears when I turned the corner and saw the wall that held my framed poetry. I never thought in a 1,000 years that my writing would be displayed in a gallery!

The ArtLoveMagic crew has broken barriers in Dallas that no other arts collective has done in a long time. (Except for Art Conspiracy...they are awesome) and together these groups make it known that artists don't have to "starve." We deserve to be respected just like anyone else. The term "starving artists" is obsolete between the two groups.

ArtLoveMagic put the Underground show together on January 31st and it was something that I didn't imagine. All three of those words came true that night. The "Art" came to life as 30 artists came together that were composed of painters, photographers, sculptors, illustrators, singers, musicians, writers, poets and more in one night to wake Dallas up and leave our imprint!

The "Love" was in the air on Saturday night as a crowd descended on the Janette Kennedy Gallery. There had to be at least 300 people that graced the gallery with their presence to check out the show. Love happened when I witnessed two artists Connor and Sherri get engaged as he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. In the same breath watching two of my friends that are so amazing also let the world know that they are together. Mike and Deb I think y'all are great together! They proved to me that the love of your life could be standing right in front of you and when the time is right God will make it known. So much talent and love all at the same time was almost overwhelming; but in a good way.

"Magic" took place as I got on the mic on the main stage and did a sensuous love poem titled Sweet Love Jones...the Remix and then ran out to the second stage and did Nubian Woman. My friend Deb whose voice would put Beyonce's to shame (I love Beyonce but Deb is the truth) with her soulful and sultry voice asked me to go on after another poet that was spitting on the mic at that time.

I fed off my boy Demetrius' energy as his cool and calm voice wooed the crowd. She whispered in my ear, "Please rock Nubian Woman." As I got up on the mic and did my piece I felt a rejuvenating sensation go though my blood. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. I knew at that moment I was stronger than ever and it's time to take my talent, poetry/writing to another level!

I ended my piece on such a high and I was so happy as I heard people whistling, folks clapping and my friend Nikki tell me I was so incredible...my first real show amongst other slamming artists! I looked up into the sky and knew that amongst everyone that took in my poem God was clapping and that feeling is one that you would know when He is saying job well done.

When Deb went to hug me I felt emotional because I knew that my dreams were coming true and all the right people were in my life whether they are on the east/west coast or here in Dallas. What more could a woman ask for in one night?

As the night went on I took in all of the art work and felt exhausted at 12am. Being tired after a night like that was satisfying. No bad vibes that evening...nothing but live energy surrounded the gallery.

Something else also was awakened. As I did Sweet Love Jones my heart let me know that it's okay to let down my guards and get ready for God to bless me. For the first time in a long time I totally felt healed and was ready to move on. A lot of us get caught up in the madness of hurt feelings and carry baggage on dates, new relationships, whatever.

I don't have neither as I walk the streets light. Nothing holding me down allowing God to work His magic and letting Him choose he. So I'll leave it at that but just know that I'm taking in new breath, a feeling that is refreshing...like a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

What a magical way to end January...one love.

Copyright 2009 Serena Wills

Letting Go of Yesterday

2009-02-08T20:40:00.000-05:00

I noticed it's been a while since I posted anything on my blog. Today I was in church and was blown away by the sermon that my pastor delivered titled, "The Spirit of Excellence." The title alone had me going but what he said about letting go of our yesterdays was something that hit home for me.

He said that a lot of us live in yesterday. Whether it's good or bad. But we stay stuck on what happened and lose focus if we even have any on today and the future. A lot of us can't seem to move on from the bad things that once happened. He said that living in yesterday will ruin today and destroy your tomorrow! Wow!

As I vigorously took notes I thought of all the hurt feelings I had about my yesterdays. Whether it was a relationship gone bad, losing someone close, a friend tripping on me, etc thinking to myself...my God I could be ruining today and destroying my tomorrow.

In that one sermon I made a vow to myself to let go! It's so hard and the process isn't easy, but I have a bright and colorful future ahead of me and the last thing I want to do is destroy what God has in store for me by staying stuck in the past.

I prayed for a friend of mine (well once friend) that recently stopped talking to me. Not only was I cut off but so were other friends and even some family. Apparently she goes through spells of disconnecting herself with loved ones when she is either dating or in love. Returning when something goes wrong.

Yes I was initially mad that we are in our 30's and people still act like this but after today I had to tell her through my spirit good bye. I can't be upset that you got caught up and stopped talking to a bunch of us. I have so many things to do and if I stay stuck on being mad then weeks can go by and nothing will be resolved, work won't be done and I'm not about to hinder my gift of writing and my dreams for anyone.

I also thought about old loves...one in particular. I breathed with ease during the sermon that the ill feelings I once had towards him are really gone. Is that a good thing...no...it's great! Who wants to remain in limbo wondering about the would've, could've, should've. I had to let go of the fact that not only our relationship ended but that an 11 year friendship ended and may never be again which is fine. All of the words that stung in our final blows, insults, etc have fallen to the waist side. I truly believe that God put him in my life for a reason and a season and I thank him for that. No one wants to see a friend go and it end ugly, but learn from it, see what their purpose was and keep moving forward.

So I say all of this because someone out there will read my blog and be stuck. They wonder why their life isn't transforming after prayers and talks with God. Life is going by without them. It's because you need to get up, dust yourselves off and move on. Life has so much to offer and I don't want to ever be in a position again where I'm living in yesterday. So let's reminisce, learn, laugh about the past when there were good moments and even bad but look forward to bright futures, more funny times, accomplishing our dreams and being supportive of each other.

I hope today someone will read this and say...I'm letting go of yesterday. Peace.

The Roots!

2009-01-16T10:14:00.000-05:00

Happy Born Day to Me! As my friend Raashida put it this morning on the phone (this is your personal New Year)! I love it! Thanks to everyone for your beautiful messages and shout outs!

I wrote this pieces about 9 years ago about how much we grow in comparison to a tree. From the roots to the branches and as one layer may fall off a new fresh one is growing. I thank God today that He gave me 34 years, that he whispered in my Mother's ear, "You can do it, you maybe a single parent but you're not alone." Thank you Iya! I'm so thankful for everything that has happened...even the challenges! Challenges made me stronger and adds fuel to my fire and passion! Look out for more things this year! More publications, possibility of birthing my poetry book and who else knows...enjoy!

The Roots

Oooooh chile will you look at that tree
My how much it has grown
From an itty bitty branch
To an overgrown oak
I remember when I picked that tree
Out of a bunch
I sure had a hunch
That this itty bitty tree
Would grow oh so much
My goodness that was only two years ago
It stood tall and strong amongst the others
Even the roots were mature compared to the rest
Couldn’t believe she was so young
As I bend down to look at the roots
Hmmm…hmm…hmm
She sure showed me some!
Of what she went through
Some roots were cracked and bark chipped away
From the season before
And even one of her branches hung low
I knew like nothing else you have a little wear and tear
But that tree was strong
As I stepped closer
I was very overcome
That bark that chipped away
Was slowly being replaced with new growth
Hmmph and the roots even began to look nurtured
With moist soil from the rain the night before
It help the roots to heal
And where the dead leaves had fallen off
Her branches were preparing for the new
I had to take her home and plant her in my backyard
Where she can grow, flourish and get some sun
A place where I can nurture her roots by watering them
Clip her hanging leaves and treat the old bark
Yes in deed!
She can be restored in no time
After the dead weight is lifted from her
That was just two years ago
And look at her grow
I tell her everyday it’s okay to get bigger
Grow stronger
Grow more leaves
And have some strong roots
Don’t forget where you came from
What you have been through
The weather might be rough sometimes
But your strong roots will keep you grounded
And just to think…my baby is not even three yet
Hmmph! You sure showed them!
As you protect us from the rain
Give us shade from the sun
And those beautiful leaves fall
For my babies to play in
Oh yes honey…keep growing
Keep going
And don’t let nothing stop you!
Just don’t forget about those roots
I’m here to repair them when needed
Nurture and even mend
So your branches won’t bend
You are forming into such a beautiful
Blossoming
Oak tree
As we sit underneath you to stay cool in the heat
Keeping growing honey until you get old
Then pass on what you have learned
To another soul who may need mending
Pass the root and stay strong
And continue to grow

Written By: Serena T. Wills

September 26th, 2000

Inspired by decision in life that made me realize that it is good to grow and its okay to move on!

Keep striving!

Copyright 2000 by Serena T. Wills
All Rights are Reserved

Falling Out of Love

2009-01-07T16:14:00.000-05:00

I know people logged onto this and thought I was going to talk about relationships between a man and woman or your ex lover. The one thing I started a discussion on before the new year hit with a couple of good friends was friends that fall out of love with one another. I've experienced it a couple of times here in Dallas, TX and it caught me off guard. I thought it was just me until I started talking to other people who said, "We just don't know why he/she stopped speaking to me, hanging out or they flipped because they got a man/woman and don't know how to act."

I would like to hear from people off and online if this has happened to you and if so what did you do about it? The first time it happened was summer of 2007 when a friend of mine at that time in Dallas got a little too comfortable and truly offended me at the dinner table. According to her track record after she proceeded to do so that one time with me is that in that one year she had already lost three friends because of her mouth. I realized that I had to let it go and move on and be thankful for the friends that I have.

It happened a couple of other times in 2008 where friends just fell off with me for no apparent reason. I reviewed my notes from church a few years back and the pastor at that time stated that everyone has a place in your life whether it's for a chapter or the entire book of life. Some may only have a few lines in one chapter and disappear. Don't be sad about it, just move on as it will be revealed why they were there for such a short period of time.

So in 2009 I know that one never knows who may fall in and out of their lives. But always remember there are those true blue die hard friends (the pillars in your temple I like to call them) that never crumble under pressure and have been there with you. Then there are those new pillars being built and then there are temporary facades on the temple. They are serving their purpose but eventually may fade away or be replaced.

Again I'm thankful for my beautiful friends (some who I consider my brothers and sisters) and remember that at some point of your life you may experience someone that just falls off the map for no reason. They might just be a temporary fixture in your life.

Sister's Love After Years of Not Knowing Her

2009-01-03T20:38:00.001-05:00

Growing up I always felt as if there was a half of me missing. My Mom struggled to raise me on her own with the help of my Grandparents. My Papa was the man in my life and even though he's gone his memories and teachings are still with me. However I always felt like a piece of me was missing. I also knew that my father had other children besides me.

We were all disconnected from one another. At the time I didn't understand why he was absent and never recognized me but as I grew older I began to know why. His addictions and self destruction would have gotten the best of me and I was happy to hear that at the end of his life he did turn it around by teaching other younger brother and sisters how to love themselves and not the bottle or drugs.

I heard the many stories from friends of his and even one who said she was thankful that he impacted her life. She stopped drinking and taking drugs after working with him.

But unfortunately I never got a chance to meet him as he passed away in March of 2000. But God opened the doors to my sisters. One in particular.

Shavonn is one of my baby sisters. Yes she is going to be 28, but she is so far his youngest child and I'm even protective of her. We instantly bonded in June 2000 when I met her on Fathers Day weekend. When I looked in her eyes I felt like I was looking into a mirror. We favor each other a lot.

This past holiday we spent a lot of time in the city and took a trip down to Coney Island. It was frigid but we went to the beach on a mission and openly prayed by the ocean. As the moon cast down on us I looked over as I was bent down by the shore and saw her crying. I felt her trials, struggles and tribulations coming to an end as the tears streamed down her face.

After all these years God brought us together and we prayed together. I never got a chance to hold her in my arms and stroke her hair when she was younger. When I went to hug her she embraced me. I told her how beautiful she was and I was so blessed that God opened up the doors to my Dad's side and there she was, ready with open arms.

She cried harder and I embraced her as I felt her pain and she felt mine. On Monday, December 29th, 2008 we left all ill feelings, anguish, sadness and any hatred we had on that beach by the ocean. I forgave people, a couple in particular and now I finally feel totally free.

We walked back to the F train, and giggled as sisters do when we realized that we never had that moment together. I felt drained as a good cry will do to a person but relieved because all that hurt me was over and my sister could look back and learn from her life lessons and begin to live a fruitful life.

My sister's love is so strong even though I didn't have her in my life for 25 years. I prayed for those doors to the Hayes side to be opened and when they did I look back and never regret one moment. Prayer is so powerful and a sister or brothers love when genuine is so strong.

I Was Always a Queen...Even in the Eye of a Total Stranger

2009-01-03T20:10:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! I just got back from Queens, NY where I spent days and nights visiting family, friends, traveling all over the city, catching up with peeps I hadn't seen in years and just taking a time out from the daily hustle and bustle of work.

As I ventured into the city one day I caught the Q9 bus to Jamaica Center in Queens, NY. I went to turn on my iPod to listen to some old school until I heard the bus driver greeting everyone that got on. A smile greeted my face as I turned back the clock and visited 1989-1993. Every morning when I rode the Q9 bus to the train to start my commute into Harlem where I went to school I too had a special bus driver.

His bus was always full and if you got on you were lucky. He greeted everyone with, "Good morning my Kings and Queens!"

The loud booming voice even made the wanna be thugs smile and give him a pound. He would talk to all the high school students and even adults. Every morning for four years I was reminded that I was a Queen!

As I would get off the bus and step down he would yell out, "Have a good day my Kings and Queens and don't let anyone tell you that you are anything else."

At first it didn't hit me, but as the weeks and months passed I loved the greeting. How cool was it to be announced as a Queen every morning at 7:10am! And if you were lucky...and I was a few times you got him as his shift ended in the afternoon.

When I fast forwarded to the present time I looked towards the back of the bus where some teens were starting to act rowdy. One fast stare of an elder calmed them down. But as I got off the Q9 and hit Jamaica Avenue I saw things differently. Girls with everything out (in 30 degree weather I might add), dudes yelling out sexual terms and talking down to their sistas. A couple would respond and some of our young Queens had the nerve to try and kick game with the dudes.

I stood outside on Parsons and Archer taking in everything and wondered if these young brothers and sisters knew that they were Kings and Queens and come from generations of rich heritage. If only they knew that out of the corner of someones eye an elder or adult was watching, shaking their heads.

I felt so blessed to have grown up in the era that I did and wonder if my good ole bus driver retired since he was up in age when he drove 20 years ago. The last day of high school I got on his bus and told him I was leaving for University and thanked him. He smiled and said, "I'm so proud of you and always remember no matter what you go through, think of where you came from and that you are a Queen!" I never knew his name after all those years and when I would visit home would hope to ride on his bus. But I never saw him again. I still thank him to this day.

We have to take our children back and teach them their heritage, where they came from, how to dress, how to approach and talk to one another.

They need to be taught that they are Kings and Queens. If you have a favorite person or that stranger that might have impacted your life please share. I wanted to start off the new year with good memories from way back when and even remind myself that I'm a Queen always and to never let anyone tell me other. Peace.

Time to Go Back to Africa...Sounds of the Ocean

2008-12-17T21:39:00.000-05:00

Next year is almost here and I'm sitting at my laptop reflecting on my trip to Africa over 8 years ago. Something inside my soul has been yearning to go back. So next year I'm finally going to make the journey back with my good friend Raashida who frequents the continent quite often. Enjoy this piece I wrote on my last journey and reflect on the last time you went on a spiritual excursion.

Sounds of the Ocean

Listen…she said…Stand still…
Close your eyes and listen to what they said
The ancestors were there and the spirits beside me
Guiding me to the ocean
I stood still
As I looked into the clear blue water of the Indian Ocean
I felt Yemaya as I was welcomed into her home
Simply beautiful
As I stood at the shore I prayed
Giving many thanks to those who walked before me
Those who have shown me and those who are with me
The ocean holds the spirits of our ancestors who were enslaved
They make the world go round as they talk to me
Through the sound of the ocean
Just listen my friend said as she grabbed my hand
I stood there and looked at the lay of the land
Standing in Africa
On an African beach in Durban where I stood and listened to the waves crashing, children laughing and the wind talking
As I stood there I reflected back on my life and knew that everything happened for a reason
Standing here as the season changes before me
Reminiscing on all the moments in time with a deep sigh of relief
I am here and alive
Breathing in the air of salt water
Listening to the wind and watching the waves crashing
Here we stand at the Indian Ocean on the coast of Durban
Once again just listen…shhhhh…
He is here …listen to what they have to say and give thanks
Listen…our ancestors are here.

Copyright (c) Serena Wills 2008
All Rights Reserved

Divine Wryte Cafe Press Shop is Now Open...

2008-12-16T22:09:00.000-05:00

Last night I was up until 12am adding images to my Cafe Press website. I had to convert my poems into JPEG images and upload them onto the site and then put them on cool products.

Choose from four poems on a variety of products such as post cards, magnets, wall clocks, journals, keep sake boxes, tiles, bags, etc. More to come after the new year!

The four poems I decided to post are:

Music Makes Me High (you can read the entire piece on my blog)

ReConStruCtion (just posted this as well on my blog a couple of weeks ago)

Good Ole Lovin female and male edit (newer piece for couples who are in that crazy, good ole love)!

Sorority Love (also known as Beautiful Delta for my sorors).

Check it out and order poetic Christmas gifts today!!!! My shop's site is www.cafepress.com/divinewryte

Your dreams can come true...just believe. Peace.

It's Here! Order Your Copy of Gumbo for the Soul!

2008-12-04T21:09:00.000-05:00

I'm truly blessed to be a contributing author in Gumbo for the Soul: Here's Our Child-Where's the Village! It is here! Today it was launched and is available for purchase on Barnes and Noble website at http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Gumbo-for-the-Soul/Beverly-Black-Johnson/e/9781440101267/?itm=3

OR

You can purchase it now on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Gumbo-Soul-Heres-Child-Wheres-Village/dp/1440101264/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228787892&sr=1-2

Books are $11.95 plus shipping on this website!

This book is special to me as it talks about adoption, foster care and the perspectives of what families go through. There are compelling stories, essays, poems, etc.

Two of my gems (my sisters) are adopted. Christina is 19 years old and was born to a crack addicted mother. This is truly a compelling story as I discovered her while volunteering for my high school community service hours. Her story is entitled A Diamond in the Rough.

Ayana (deceased) was born to my Aunt Doretha in 1983. Her story is titled Against the Odds. Aunt Doretha died of AIDS complications in 1983 and my Mother promised to care for Ayana who suffered from severe brain damage and medical complications. On September 22nd, 2007 at the sweet age of 24 she passed away. I know she is protecting us and is proud of her big sister.

The book cover is designed by Synthia Saint James, the forward is written by Rawsistaz Literary Group Founder Tee C. Royal and the back cover written by Bruce George (co-founder of Def Poetry Jam). The editor of this book is none other than Beverly Black Johnson who has been absolutely amazing during this process.

I'm blessed to say these are my first published pieces. God is in the blessing business. Thank you to all that have encouraged me and pushed me along on my journey. Stay tuned for more pieces to be published from yours truly in 2009.

Peace.

Pieces of Life Continued...Reconstruction Period!

2008-11-26T20:44:00.000-05:00

And this piece of our lives is called...Reconstruction.

Almost a year ago myself and one of my closest friends Randi* talked about reconstruction and how it was time to get our life back on track. Randi and I were tired of crying, battling internal and external demons. Randi and her doctor finally found the right chemical balance in regards to her medicine and she was getting back into life. I was realizing that as much as I longed to move back to the Washington, DC area that God had other plans for me and that is why he brought me to Dallas. God was using various situations in our lives as the vehicles to a higher plain. We were more focused and ready to work.

We didn't let anyone or anything get in the way. If you tried we prayed on it and after a while they were slowly dropping out of our life. As a great woman that I once knew who passed away (Grandma Moorehead) stated, “Ladies it's time to take out the trash and start living your life!”

Through meditation, exercising, focusing more on our dreams of becoming writers and Randi having her production company we were on our way. The road was a little bumpy in the beginning and we learned how to deal with the rough patches and were starting to move in stride.

Always remember the storm doesn't last always. When it does hit you feel uncomfortable as your emotions and feelings are tested. Once it is over the reconstruction can begin and as you begin to feel clean again you will notice a difference. You are at peace with yourself, loved ones and those who caused disruption in your life are no longer around. Don't mourn over the loss, keep moving forward as new friends will be discovered and old ones that are now on the same page as you are resurrected.

Take everything in stride and one day at a time.

Copyright 2008 Serena T. Wills

Take Your Life Back!

2008-11-26T20:35:00.000-05:00

Something short and and to the point. Too many of us fall back backwards in life and it's time to get up, dust yourself off and put yourself back together again!

ReConsTruCtiOn

It Was Time to Take Life Back…

Overcoming my demons
Climbing mountains
In this thing called life
No longer
Feeling defeated
Depleted
As I redirected my energy
Into my love
Writing
Painting
Singing
Dancing
Therapy for the soul
Cleansing as I traveled to places
Only people imagine
Blessings began to flow
As I won the battle
During this period
of reconstruction

Copyright 2008 Serena T. Wills

Always Remember that No Matter What...You Are a Divine Mold

2008-10-26T20:09:00.000-04:00

This poem is dedicated to all those who have been through a turbulent relationship and begin to doubt themselves. Always know that you are a divine and unique design made by God. He knows you from every hair on your head down to your toes. He knows your beautiful spirit and wants you to wait on Him to lead that man to you. He has designed someone for you and only in His time will you know. I was also blessed to have this be my first framed poem sold that touched a young ladies heart that now knows she is divine and unique. Peace.

Divine Mold

God will bless me with a chaser
And I don't mean alcohol
I’m talking about a man who believes in that old fashion love
He will pursue ME and when he catches me he will never let go
See I’m a creature of my father God
Unique and divine in every aspect
Perfect in His eyes
I'm here to school those
Who can't appreciate that luvin that only your Grandma can talk about
I now know that just as I was created in God's eyes for someone
In return…God has made someone for me
I've quieted my soul and turned off all negative voices that just don't know
God is my radar screen when it comes to Him leading me
I’m having an internal battle lately and a spiritual conflict so to say
Instead of trusting in Him I lost sight of my way and trusted myself
Led astray from my faith in you God
Forgive me as I give all to you
Again mistaken and take for a fool
God I'm going to keep praying
And must believe it's all in your time
So I'm going to sit back and wait
Just wait for my blessing to appear
Waiting patiently
For that old fashion…old school luvin
That only You will know

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved

Love Jones...Do You Have One?

2008-10-12T21:14:00.000-04:00

Hmmmm, the weather is getting cooler and a few of my friends have the love jones goin on. So I'm dedicating this piece to all those that have that special...sweet...love jones.

Sweet Love Jones

This love jones has jumped into my soul
I don’t know how to explain it
It’s a feeling that only one would know if they are in love
This jones in my bones has an erotic feeling
That I can only show to my loved one
A jones can be mysterious
You begin to wonder and look for answers as to why you feel soooo good
A love jones follows you throughout your soul
And when you are intertwining and unwinding with your lover
It just comes out like a racing stream before the waterfall
There is no control over these emotions that flood your spirit
And when it’s time to share then there is no turning back
As my man whispers in my ear to give it to him all night
My body melts and my soul is awakened by the sound of his voice
His tender but hard strokes makes me know how much he loves me
You see when a man can stroke your intelligence, feed your spirit and stroke ya right
What more could you want from this King
I watch him sleeping knowing that I am dancing through his dreams
As we lay underneath the sun rising and hear the birds chirping
I thank God for another day with my King…my soul mate
As the morning grows and I begin to moan as my baby wakes me up the right way
A love jones is in my soul and I want to take this trip to ecstasy
With my baby…the King in my life

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved

I don't know what to name this piece...dedicated to my sister Ayana R.I.P.

2008-10-12T20:52:00.000-04:00

I wrote this piece back in June sitting outside under the stars in Dallas, TX at a Fred Hammond concert. I was reflecting on all that I went through and how I lost my sister Ayana last September. I hope someone feels inspired after reading it. I performed this piece at an ArtLoveMagic event out here in Dallas on October 4th. Peace.

Untitled

As the warm breeze hit my face
I knew then that, “It was done.”
All my problems, burdens and inequities
Were conquered
God told me years ago
“Wait on me child and I will see everything through.”
Nights I cried wondering how bills would be paid
Days went by wondering why my sisters health was fading away
God kept telling me, “I’m coming to rescue you, walk with you to get you through.”
Watching the sun leave the sky
As the moon peered through my blinds
Still wondering how to get through
Suddenly I felt a presence
In my space
Not understanding what or where it stood
My Grandma once told me, “Chile there are times when God is in your space and you will know it when you feel Him.”
God began to work through me
Around me
All for me
Burdens were lifted
Unanswered problems resolved
Bills were paid in full
As I understood that God comes in His time
He heard my sister asking for Him
Take me with you God
For I am done
Her failed health faded away
As she went to Him
And when she left me physically
I knew then that her battle cries were no more
And her job here on earth was done
God said, “Let it be done, let her be whole and may this life be complete.”
I listened to Him
As He conquered not just my worried
Fears
Anxiety
But He also reached back and conquered Ayana’s too
As He said, “Let it be done.”

June 27, 2008

Ayana’s job is complete. God you are worthy as you continue to heal us.

Moonlit Path...

2008-10-12T20:44:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time ago I was in love and was intrigued by my friend's story of meeting her boyfriend in Central Park under the moon light. I wrote this piece dedicated to everyone who isn't looking for the one, but he/she is lead directly to you. You never know...

Moonlit Path

Light shining through my window in the dark of night
Sitting in deep thought
Watching the clouds move until they covered the moon
Lighting scented candles and incense so a sweet smell would go through the air
I heard you rummaging through the house after a hard day at work
Hoping you would be attracted to the smell
My heart skipped a beat as I heard you climb the steps
When I think back to when we met in the park under the full moon, it feels like yesterday
The warm breeze blew through my hair and the leaves were twirling around as you approached me in the still of the night
Music was playing, people were talking and a man was juggling for money
All I could see was you as the moon shined down on the path
The path was lit by the rays of the moon as we moved in closer to one another
When I gazed into your eyes I felt at peace
That moment told me that you were the one
We sat on a bench nearby and talked for hours on end
The sound of your voice softened my soul and made me warm inside
The midnight hour was approaching
We walked down the street and held hands like old friends
Standing at the foot of my stoop we faced one another
You softly pressed your lips on mine and it felt so right
Chills went down my spine when you ran your fingers through my hair
The night finally ended with one last passionate goodnight kiss as you walked away
Hmmmmmmm…that kiss has been on my lips since that night as I look at you now even more in love then the day we met
Finally you entered the doorway to our bedroom after much anticipation
Strong hands began to massage the small of my back
Body shivering and my toes are tingling at your every touch
You took my hand and turned me around so you can kiss my lips
Making your way down as you begin to rub my pregnant belly that is holding our first born
Laying in your arms as we drifted off to sleep as the warm breeze from the window drifted through the room
It took me back to the night I met you on the moonlit path
Where our roads crossed will forever be in my soul
The rays of the moon showered down on us
It was the moonlit path that led me to you

Started on October 6, 2005 and completed June 15th 2006

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved

Nubian Woman

2008-10-12T20:37:00.000-04:00

I performed this piece last month at an open mic and not only did the women love it but I got great reviews from the men too! I wrote this piece 8+ years ago when a guy I was dating was confused about the fact that women are just as strong as men and know how to handle their business. Hmmmph, the nerve!

This is dedicated to all those who are confused about a strong black woman. Enjoy...

Blood that flows as strong as the Nile River in Ancient Kamet
A personality that is as rare as a four leaf clover in a grassy meadow
Hair like lambs wool
Standing as tall and strong like the pyramids
Describes a strong Nubian woman
A person that can be as calm as a lake
And can handle the Grand Rapids in the Midwest
Physique like no other woman
Jeans fit right filling out all of the spots from left to right
Caramel complexion standing as tall as some of these brothers
That has gained wisdom from her Aunt’s, Uncle’s, Grandparents and Mother
With intelligence and common sense to stand her own ground
and beat you with her wits
Beautiful as a Queen; but will go out to battle with the warriors
With the spirit of Shango and the womanly wise of Oshun
Don’t be afraid of this diamond who learns from her past to build for the future
The strong Nubian woman who will nurture others, teach knowledge
And learn from her elders
Don't be afraid to be with this woman who is proud and encouraging
Someone who will lead you through the valley
And take you to the hilltop
Who can cook, clean, work, repair, volunteer and write
Be a mother, lover, sister and wife
Don't be intimidated by her strong presence and appearance
Love her, caress her, be with her, feel her and hold her
Stroke her mind, feed her continuous knowledge
Do not renege or take advantage
For she is a Queen to be
A woman who will stand by you when you are down, encourage you
When you are broke and love you for you
Hear her lyrics and fine poetry and come to realize that this can be meant to be
Be a friend before a lover
And do not step to her like these others
She sees you as her strong Nubian Man
And at a time of need will carry you on her back
Like she has with others who were in need
Somewhat like the footprints in the sand
Discover each other & learn to love her
For she is priceless
A spirit of a warrior and a figure like no other
A woman who recognizes her descendants and ancestors
That is a Nubian Woman in deed
That is the Nubian woman I see within me
The woman I came to be

Written By 2.5.2000

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved

I'm one of the authors in Gumbo for the Soul: Here's Our Child-Where's the Village anthology! It's now ready for pre-order!

2008-09-21T20:34:00.000-04:00

I'm truly blessed to be a contributing author to Gumbo for the Soul: Here's Our Child-Where's the Village! It's scheduled to drop in bookstores, Amazon, etc in November during National Adoption Month but you can pre-order your copy on www.gumboforthesoul.com

This book is special to me as it talks about adoption. Two of my gems (my sisters) are adopted. Christina is 19 years old and was born to a crack addicted mother. This is truly a compelling story as I discovered her while volunteering for my high school community service hours. Her story is entitled A Diamond in the Rough.

Ayana (deceased) was born to my Aunt Doretha in 1983. Her story is titled Against the Odds. Aunt Doretha died of AIDS complications in 1983 and my Mother promised to care for Ayana who suffered from severe brain damage and medical complications. On September 22nd, 2007 at the sweet age of 24 she passed away. I know she is protecting us and is proud of her big sister.

Please pre-order the book and support. The book cover is designed by Synthia Saint James, the forward is written by Rawsistaz Literary Group Founder Tee C. Royal and the back cover written by Bruce George (co-founder of Def Poetry Jam). The editor of this book is none other than Beverly Black Johnson who has been absolutely amazing during this process.

I'm blessed to say these are my first published pieces. God is in the blessing business. Thank you to all that have encouraged me and pushed me along on my journey. Stay tuned for more pieces to be published from yours truly. Peace.

Hiding in the Darkness

2008-09-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

As I reflect on 2008 I'm steady praying for those friends that are in my life that support and encourage me. Then I think about those that I've lost. Not due to death or illness; but friends I've lost because they've decided to hide in the darkness. Darkness can be a few things; whether it's hiding behind lies, mental issues, their past, phony attitude, etc. This piece is dedicated to people who have lost themselves and are hiding in the darkness of their past. They don't want to address their issues...maybe they are afraid of being judged, being found out. Mental illness is very real and people's true colors will come out. If they don't want to deal with you then to hell with them. They cut off old friends that knew their dark secrets and found new ones acting like everything was okay. When in all actuality their true friends would remain in their corner. Stop hiding in the darkness and stand up to your issues before you are lost in them.

Mental Bondage

Mind is trapped
By this demon
He has wrapped his arms around my mentality
And has my spirit in bondage
I chose to give in cause I was tired of fighting
Too many meds and no sleep was getting tiring
Tired of waiting for God to work miracles
So I trusted myself and fixed myself…I think
I got demons in my system and I don’t know how to shake em
I’ve lost friends and loved ones who kept trying to tell me what to do
When to do
How to do
Too many doctors to count
Just testing me out
So I stopped doing everything that was supposed to help me
And now the person in front of you is one that I don’t even know
I am somebody else…and I keep losing people around me
I just can’t get around the meds
Physiological insanity that constantly brews
From childhood to manhood I have lost many battles
And even question my faith
A lot was taken from me and I don’t know what to do
Why do I have to live with demons inside my soul
Why do I choose to lock out God when others tell me He is in control
Continuing to lose people, jumping from woman to woman
Man to man who I think are my soulmates
So maybe one day I will let God in
In the meantime I guess I have to become friends
With the demons that live within
I know I have a choice to make
But I feel so weak
Vulnerable
And even at times I feel evil
So pray for me y’all and maybe one day
I will let the Lord into my life
And let Him fight off these demons that have a hold on my mentality
And this thing called life

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved

One Year Later...

2008-09-15T21:17:00.000-04:00

God has brought me through some storms. There were times when I thought I couldn't walk and I know He carried me. One of my best friend's Randi*and I over a year ago began to notice patterns and call them Pieces of Life. After we reflected on the month that had past we agreed on the title. Last September was called Sudden Death because that is exactly what happened. Life is not always full of blue skies and sunshine. We are tested and no one is ever ready to lose loved ones. I lost my sister on September 22, 2007 and Randi lost her good friend Hope that same week. Below is what we wrote up in this Piece of Life.

Randi and I received very grim news during the last week of September in 2007. All was quiet for this month until I received a call from my Uncle on September 22nd at 4:30am that my sister Ayana who had been battling with multiple medical complications since the day she was born lost the battle. At the sweet age of 24 years old the Lord called her home. Screaming and crying proceeded as I talked to him that early morning. Mommy could barely speak and as she got on the phone it was then that I collected myself and knew that God put me in a position to help Mom and even carry her if she couldn't walk. The flight to New York City was used for reflection and to take a walk down memory lane. I sat looking out the window at the clouds wondering if Ayana could hear my inner thoughts now that she made her transition. Ayana beat the odds as one doctor said when she heard of her passing. As Ayana was laid to rest she looked so beautiful and at peace. No tubes, the trek was gone, no more bottles of medication (eleven to be exact), no more extended visits to the hospital. She was finally home.

Randi's world came to a screeching halt on Wednesday, September 26th. Just one day before Ayana’s funeral. Her friend Hope had been killed by a reckless truck driver in the streets of New York City. She had just spoken to Hope that past weekend as they made plans to see each other one day soon. Hope proceeded to leave Randi a voicemail that same weekend as she read her one of her poems. Randi still has that voicemail saved as that was her last time hearing her sweet friend’s voice. Hope was an aspiring actress and was on her way to the big stage as she took a waitress job to make ends meet. She had just stepped off the curb when the careening truck ran into her leaving her for dead. Hope and Ayana loved the color lavender. Even though we want to question their deaths we were raised to know that God protects everyone, but there are times such as these where we just don't understand. When something tragic happens we understood that God only takes the best and will protect them and us. We also inherited new guardian angels. God brought us through September but the pain is still so fresh.

A Poem from My Trip to South Africa

2008-08-28T19:54:00.000-04:00

Throughout my blogs I will refer to different points of my life. One was life changing when I visited Johannesburg, South Africa eight years ago. My friend Raashida lived over seas and I'm so thankful to her for exposing me to rich culture. Here's one of the poems I wrote on my journey.

Great Journey

Passion flows through my vains
Like the water falls in Zimbabwe
My love is as strong as the crashing waves of the Indian Ocean
Romance is as mellow as the sun setting over the Egyptian Pyramids
Heart as big as the continent of Africa
I AM ME!
Knowledge to pass onto others that seek Sankofa
Nurturing my loved ones as a Mother who loves their child
Thoughts of my future…pleases me
Those in my life are the pillars in my temple
Holding me up through the good and dismal
One who holds my hand feels the strength of a warrior
And the knowledge of an elder
Those who embrace me feel the warmth of the sun as it blazes over the Sahara Desert
I AM ME!
Divinity flows through me as the ancestors guide me through my paths
Journey after journey
I seek more knowledge and see things that I want to see
Learning from different traditions and religion
Pleases me!
My face is young but my tongue is old
For I speak the wisdom the ancestors have passed onto me
I sat underneath a Baobab tree
Listening to the cool wind as I felt a breeze
I raised my hands high to give the ancestors praise
On this glorious day I begin to think of all I went through
From birth to childhood to adulthood
Amazes me
As I walk to the well I think about my American ways
How they tried to brainwash my people
To believe that your natural hair is nappy, your color is too dark and your features
Are just not good enough
HOW DARE THEY!
Coming back HOME taught me a lesson
As I feel the hot sand beneath my feet
Wondering why it took so long to come back home
I am on a journey, would you care to join me
To free my peoples minds and spirits
And let them know that black is beautiful no matter what shade
And to free your hair and do your thang!
I’m on a journey through Africa
I’m on a journey to be one with myself
To free my mind and everything about me
I'm on a journey to become...free

Fall 2000

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved

The Sky Over Dallas

2008-08-28T19:46:00.000-04:00

I moved to Dallas 2.5 years ago. Like a lot of people I moved for one thing and instead I've learned that God has blessed me with something so much greater which is to take my writing to another level. I'm an east coast gal and it took time for me to like Dallas. The one thing I simply enjoy and love is the sky. If you live in the Southwest or West coast region check out the sky when the sun is going down when there are shades of purple and blue as the sun is kissing the day goodnight. Check out my piece Dusk Meets Night. Peace.

Dusks Meets Night

Evening sky meets dusk
Simple line of color
Shades of purple and blue
Almost night
As I look up into the sky
Gazing at the stars as they welcome the dark
Peaceful
Hopeful
Knowing I made it through another day
Blessings that shower over me
As dusk meets the night
Gazing into the sky
My eyes talk to the stars
As I study each one of them
Uniquely shaped and scattered in no sort of order
Summer breeze whisking around me
As the wind softly whispers in my ear
Smiling
As I praise nightfall
The quietest time of my day
No chatter, no work to be done
Just a date with my pen as I write into the night
I closed my eyes for what seemed like minutes
Turned into hours
Dreaming in the stillness of the dark
I was awakened by the beaming sunlight
Saddened that I missed the darkness of night
Getting ready for my workday
Sitting on the edge of my bed as I pray
Making through in some sort of way
Looking forward to the night as I will spend time with my pen
And just write and write into the night

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved

Inspirational Thursday!

2008-08-28T19:41:00.000-04:00

First Blog Post!!!! I wanted to put a couple of pieces on here that are inspirational and that talk to people. Besides writing, I'm a lover of music. I sometimes wish I could sing and I've been toying with learning how to play the guitar, drums or both. Check out how music makes me feel. Enjoy.

Music Makes Me High

Sweet sounds of music takes me to a hidden paradise within my soul
A place where I can forget about my problems of yesterday
And dream a dream of today
This place is hidden deep in my soul
A treasure, a pearl, a place where no one knows
Where the beats and rhythms take control
Soft and loud voices singing to my soul
Hidden in the depths of my heart…
Smooth tunes soothing
Comforting
Healing
As I begin
Exhaling
Sweet voices
Singing to me
Musicians
Playing at my heart strings
Beating on the drum of my heart
Conducting
Songs
Leading to me to
Everlasting
healing
Whisking me away
To a place
Deep within my soul
A place where no one knows
But Him
And me

Written: November, 2007

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved