This unique piece has two titles, I love both so I'll keep em. I was inspired to write this piece on one of the last evenings I got together with my ArtLoveMagic family last year in June. Dedicated to all of my true musicians...keep creating.
Lovemaking to my soul
Reaching down into places
Where no one should go
But somehow you’re there with the power
Of your voice singing blues and your guitar
Strumming the chords of my creative muse
Musical depth of the oceans floor
Longing for a moment with you
Visualization of musically twisted thoughts
Poetry with your grooves
Rhythm and blues
Reggae to even country tunes
Tapping into me
Like the army uses morse code
Asking myself, “How do you know what to touch, press, feel and even stroke…creatively.”
Longtime coming since I let go into this abyss of my natural mystic
Tucked away never wanting to get hurt
Guarded for the fear
Of the past troubles
One man tried to rape my artistry, creativity and mentality
He didn’t believe in the power of music
Words bouncing off of the walls
Bass trembling to the bottom of my toes
To the tips of my eyelashes
Discovery once again through you of my musical incline
An epiphany wondering what was missing from my life
Uniquely designed as I come alive again
Plugging away at those guitar strings
Wanting you as you sing to me through your soft lips
Rejuvenation of my mind, body and spirit
God placed this gift in you
Bless others with your tunes
Swaying to the music…nothing but the music
Lovingly through you
Started on June 26, 2009 and completed December 2009
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Celebrating thirty-five years of life and as I look back, I'm so thankful for all the good, bad and even ugly. I noticed this weekend that although my mother is sick with cancer, she is getting stronger and has brought my family together in ways that I could never imagine. We aren't a perfect family but I've prayed for many years that we can rid the grudges, speak to one another more often and connect to each other on if not most then all levels.
Even I have been guilty of holding onto the grudges of loved ones in my family and not letting go. I thanked my mother on my birthday which was on January 16th for being strong and for bringing our family together as we work in unison in regards to her health. We can now talk about how each of us are doing, the kids, finances, trials and struggles and help each other get through. We still have work to do but this is a beautiful start thus far.
During my time of reflection on Saturday I looked over at my beautiful cousin Gianina from my fathers side and thanked him. Even though he could never figure out how to be a father to me on this physical plain called earth, never acknowledged me, he has done something that I never thought would happen. He lead me to the "Hayes" side of my family where I had two sisters and a brother waiting for me. An array of cousins, an Uncle that embraces me and a host of other people. Although my brother isn't in the fold yet I know in time that he will find us.
How could I hold onto a grudge with a person that is now deceased? How could anyone? It sounds easy but a lot of people as myself and my cousin were talking about over the weekend still can't let go of hurt feelings, emotions or grudges with someone who is alive let alone dead. The day I heard my father passed away almost ten years ago most of those ill feelings and grudges were dropped. Over time all of them vanished. He paid the ultimate price and although I sometimes hurt inside that I will never get a chance to meet him on this side of my life, I know that I will see him when it's my time to go.
Some may say that this piece should be called "Evolution" but in fact it's a "Revolution." Meaning that a dramatic change has happened to me over time and it's good change. In fact it's great. Not enough people sit down and reflect on the major and drastic changes. The shifts that have taken place to put them into the position that they are in now.
Sitting around with a few of my girlfriends on Saturday night made me look back at those that aren't in my circle any more and I'm not in their line of friends. We naturally moved on or weren't on each other's level. Some have grown distant and our friendship is fine like that. Many times they were in my life for a reason...a season...a mere chapter. Some come in and out. But the older I get the more I notice my circle is full of beautiful, spiritual and intelligent women. Also full of positive and inspiring men that have proven that all men aren't cut from the same piece of cloth. They are designed in God's light and are here to prove that there are still real gentlemen walking this earth.
Lastly I reflected on the wonderful children that are in my life. Although I haven't birthed any (yet) they are something else. My nephew who is all of seven spoke to me on the phone Sunday morning and I still remember the day that he fell asleep in my arms when we were at the beach when he was only one year old. He was so peaceful as we were in the ocean and all of a sudden I heard his heavy breathing in my ear. But something else happened when I spoke with him. I suddenly yearned for the day that I'm blessed to meet the king in my life so I can have one or even two children. I'm now in my mid thirties and my clock for some reason rang a little loud over the weekend (the biological clock). But I know when that day comes (both me meeting the man of my dreams and having a child) that it will be another shift...revolution (change) to discuss.
For now I'm thankful for all that I have, the dreams that will come true this year and all that God has blessed me with. Every time I felt down or didn't think I accomplished a task or let someone down (even myself). He saw the best in me. He made me change and turn in directions that I wouldn't have imagined and as my pastor says in church...the best is yet to come.
Be easy and at peace.