Sunday, September 21, 2008

I'm one of the authors in Gumbo for the Soul: Here's Our Child-Where's the Village anthology! It's now ready for pre-order!

I'm truly blessed to be a contributing author to Gumbo for the Soul: Here's Our Child-Where's the Village! It's scheduled to drop in bookstores, Amazon, etc in November during National Adoption Month but you can pre-order your copy on

This book is special to me as it talks about adoption. Two of my gems (my sisters) are adopted. Christina is 19 years old and was born to a crack addicted mother. This is truly a compelling story as I discovered her while volunteering for my high school community service hours. Her story is entitled A Diamond in the Rough.

Ayana (deceased) was born to my Aunt Doretha in 1983. Her story is titled Against the Odds. Aunt Doretha died of AIDS complications in 1983 and my Mother promised to care for Ayana who suffered from severe brain damage and medical complications. On September 22nd, 2007 at the sweet age of 24 she passed away. I know she is protecting us and is proud of her big sister.

Please pre-order the book and support. The book cover is designed by Synthia Saint James, the forward is written by Rawsistaz Literary Group Founder Tee C. Royal and the back cover written by Bruce George (co-founder of Def Poetry Jam). The editor of this book is none other than Beverly Black Johnson who has been absolutely amazing during this process.

I'm blessed to say these are my first published pieces. God is in the blessing business. Thank you to all that have encouraged me and pushed me along on my journey. Stay tuned for more pieces to be published from yours truly. Peace.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Hiding in the Darkness

As I reflect on 2008 I'm steady praying for those friends that are in my life that support and encourage me. Then I think about those that I've lost. Not due to death or illness; but friends I've lost because they've decided to hide in the darkness. Darkness can be a few things; whether it's hiding behind lies, mental issues, their past, phony attitude, etc. This piece is dedicated to people who have lost themselves and are hiding in the darkness of their past. They don't want to address their issues...maybe they are afraid of being judged, being found out. Mental illness is very real and people's true colors will come out. If they don't want to deal with you then to hell with them. They cut off old friends that knew their dark secrets and found new ones acting like everything was okay. When in all actuality their true friends would remain in their corner. Stop hiding in the darkness and stand up to your issues before you are lost in them.

Mental Bondage

Mind is trapped
By this demon
He has wrapped his arms around my mentality
And has my spirit in bondage
I chose to give in cause I was tired of fighting
Too many meds and no sleep was getting tiring
Tired of waiting for God to work miracles
So I trusted myself and fixed myself…I think
I got demons in my system and I don’t know how to shake em
I’ve lost friends and loved ones who kept trying to tell me what to do
When to do
How to do
Too many doctors to count
Just testing me out
So I stopped doing everything that was supposed to help me
And now the person in front of you is one that I don’t even know
I am somebody else…and I keep losing people around me
I just can’t get around the meds
Physiological insanity that constantly brews
From childhood to manhood I have lost many battles
And even question my faith
A lot was taken from me and I don’t know what to do
Why do I have to live with demons inside my soul
Why do I choose to lock out God when others tell me He is in control
Continuing to lose people, jumping from woman to woman
Man to man who I think are my soulmates
So maybe one day I will let God in
In the meantime I guess I have to become friends
With the demons that live within
I know I have a choice to make
But I feel so weak
And even at times I feel evil
So pray for me y’all and maybe one day
I will let the Lord into my life
And let Him fight off these demons that have a hold on my mentality
And this thing called life

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved

One Year Later...

God has brought me through some storms. There were times when I thought I couldn't walk and I know He carried me. One of my best friend's Randi*and I over a year ago began to notice patterns and call them Pieces of Life. After we reflected on the month that had past we agreed on the title. Last September was called Sudden Death because that is exactly what happened. Life is not always full of blue skies and sunshine. We are tested and no one is ever ready to lose loved ones. I lost my sister on September 22, 2007 and Randi lost her good friend Hope that same week. Below is what we wrote up in this Piece of Life.

Randi and I received very grim news during the last week of September in 2007. All was quiet for this month until I received a call from my Uncle on September 22nd at 4:30am that my sister Ayana who had been battling with multiple medical complications since the day she was born lost the battle. At the sweet age of 24 years old the Lord called her home. Screaming and crying proceeded as I talked to him that early morning. Mommy could barely speak and as she got on the phone it was then that I collected myself and knew that God put me in a position to help Mom and even carry her if she couldn't walk. The flight to New York City was used for reflection and to take a walk down memory lane. I sat looking out the window at the clouds wondering if Ayana could hear my inner thoughts now that she made her transition. Ayana beat the odds as one doctor said when she heard of her passing. As Ayana was laid to rest she looked so beautiful and at peace. No tubes, the trek was gone, no more bottles of medication (eleven to be exact), no more extended visits to the hospital. She was finally home.

Randi's world came to a screeching halt on Wednesday, September 26th. Just one day before Ayana’s funeral. Her friend Hope had been killed by a reckless truck driver in the streets of New York City. She had just spoken to Hope that past weekend as they made plans to see each other one day soon. Hope proceeded to leave Randi a voicemail that same weekend as she read her one of her poems. Randi still has that voicemail saved as that was her last time hearing her sweet friend’s voice. Hope was an aspiring actress and was on her way to the big stage as she took a waitress job to make ends meet. She had just stepped off the curb when the careening truck ran into her leaving her for dead. Hope and Ayana loved the color lavender. Even though we want to question their deaths we were raised to know that God protects everyone, but there are times such as these where we just don't understand. When something tragic happens we understood that God only takes the best and will protect them and us. We also inherited new guardian angels. God brought us through September but the pain is still so fresh.