Living Life 155%

Dedicated to all those who are healing from an illness and cancer survivors! You can do it!

Living Life 155%

I run

Walk

Sky Dive

Parasail

Bike Ride

Mountain Climb

Advocate for my friends with cancer that are trying to stay alive

I’m a…

Mother, Lover

Wife, Sister

Writer, Leader

And you ask me how do I do all of this in my life????

No longer think too much as I take chances and risks

For those that live life too cautiously I wave my finger and say, “tisk, tisk, tisk.”

I live life 155%

100% isn’t good enough for me

Once I became free I promised to live life naturally

Living every moment as if it’s my last

Traveling from place to place, city to city and yet you still ask

“How does one find the energy?”

It’s very simple…you see…

Just 2 years ago I was given 6 months to live

I thought I gave everything I could give

But it wasn’t enough…the doctors were about to give up

I vowed if I made it

To live my life wholly

Making my dream checklist I gave myself a “D” day

My “D” stood for destiny!!!

“D” stood for discharge and determination!

So once I was “discharged” from the hospital after it was said I would die I checked that off

Then I was “determined” to restart my life over and it was a must

Got rid of all those non-believers, doubters and pure haters

Those that stood the test of time in my darkest moments were my circle for life

Fighting to get my life back I went after my “destiny”

Every day I check off something from my long check list

And every day I add more to it

I’m living life like my girl Jill Scott as its Golden

Living Life 155%

If for some reason you dare resent how I live

Then you can see yourself to the door

And if anything your stupid doubts gave me more

Fuel to my fire

Added desire as I live out my life

Until God calls me home

Copyright (c) Serena Wills 2013

 All Rights Are Reserved

Shirt can be purchased at http://anothermotherrunner.com/store/tees/ (a great group of folks that I found online...support the mission)!

 

Mourning Blues

Dedicated to my friend...my brother Dom Celanges, January 26, 1970-January 9, 2013. Rest in peace my brother.

"Mourning Blues"

I talked until I was breathless

With friends late last night

Reminiscing on times and when all once felt painless

Laughing about good times shared and what you always seemed to call "your side of the story" and
that sense of humor

But yet it's all a mystery

As to what went wrong

I will always remember you for your bright smile, kind heart, chocolate complexion and your grey hair that showed off your everlasting wisdom

One of the greatest men that I've crossed paths with in my generation

Yet you're gone

And we are all undone

Unwrapped emotionally

Sulking and crying as we mourn

The loss of a fallen great one

What I wouldn't do to hear your voice one more time

Wishing I reached out more

I will always ask why...

Why are you gone and so soon

We had so much to do

Life to live...but now I'm singing the mourning blues

Never forgotten my friend...my brother

Knowing deep in my heart God has opened His arms, made you whole and said to you,
"Son...welcome home."

Dom we love you always...as we say in the West African Tradition Ase...Ase...Ase (honoring our ancestors)

Eye of the Storm

(I wrote this back in October, this has been a season but it is getting better)

This weekend I cried
Storms of tears streamed down my face as I lied
In a paramedics truck shaking and whimpering
Scared to death that the demons that took over my body were laughing
At what they thought was my demise
My health was stripped day by day
And everytime I woke I laid
In a state of mental, emotional and sometime physical paralysis
Almost giving up in the midst of the hurricane going on within my body
Strangely enough when I thought my body was mending
Sudden relapse occurred as if waves were crashing
Back and forth in my system
Palpitations as my heart was racing
Hot flashes as if I was menopausal or PMSing
Infection in my chest, lungs and body was winning
Medication after medication had me jumping
Out of my skin
Tremors like an earthquake within
I almost lost focus on Him
While others were prepping for Sandy
I was praying for healing so I could be
Back to my natural state of upbeat vitality
Closing my eyes in the ER yet again I had a visit from Mommy
She appeared on my right side and said softly, "I won't dare let you die, I birthed you and pray for a renewed you."
Ayana my sister came to her side and said, "Big sis, heal and be one again, live your dreams and cut out the stress whether its people, places or things.."
Before I could fix my mouth to say a word
They were gone
I awakened to all of my levels being normal
Free to go home
Day by day
Hour by hour
Minute by minute
I'm thankful that God is piecing me back together as I broke during the storm
Remolded in His eyes I have a new focus
And I'm killing the stress in my life!
The eye of the storm could have destroyed me
But I have to much to live for and will give thanks to my Father daily
Thank you God for keeping me
Using your hands to mold me into a divine figure to reflect thee
It's now time to clean up the aftermath
Head down a different path
Filled with love, dreams and all
Focus on Him in your storm
I was too worried about getting blown away in the winds
But after a while I refocused and laid my eyes on Him
Thank you God, Christ, my ancestors (Ase) and to my renewed life

Peace and blessings everyone

Written By:

Serena Wills
October 29th, 2012

(During Hurrican Sandy...my prayers go out to all of those that suffered and were in her path).

Worry

(This was written a while ago as I was at a wall in my life) enjoy and be blessed.

Worry

Mom once told me to not worry too much
But I can't help it as bills pile up
Wanting to be the best mom while balancing my passion and work
It gets to me God, scared that I'm a paycheck from being on the street
Not wanting to give in to defeat
Trying to make sure there is food on the table for us to eat
Day by day I worry
Praying that you don't see my faith as weary
Blessings of a job came
I'm steadily trying to maintain
With a crazy pay cut I still remain faithful
One woman told me I had luck
Smiling to myself knowing it was deeper than the roll of dice
Despite my worry I know deep in my heart my luck was divine and precise
Remaining faithful I know that my job was a gift from you
So why do I still worry?
I guess it's because I'm humanly
Mold me to have faith like you
Don't stop instilling in me your continuous guidance that will see me through and through
Worry is fear and fear is worry
Praying it won't destroy my mental capacity
Peel the layers of devastation, fear, worry, pain and brokeness from me
Allow me to be the best that I can be
Strip this demonistic madness
So I can worry less
And focus
More on you
On my son
And the dreams I have so they can become true
Please be patient with me
God, don't give up
While I face this wall called...worry

Written By:

Serena Wills

September 24, 2012

Copyright (c) Serena Wills
All Rights Reserved

Failure Isn't Final!

I heard an empowering and moving word on Sunday, August 26th at my church home. My Pastors (I have two Pastors) were on vacation but would be happy to know that Rev. Harold Hayes took care of their flock with his amazing message. The sermon title was, "Failure Is Not Final."

His sermon title hit home for me in one area of my life. I had been dwelling on something for years and even before my mother's transition she told me, "You're not a failure."

I was going to write about what I felt earlier in the week but I'm glad I didn't because I heard one of my favorite gospel artists on the radio talk about her struggles. Vicki Yohe was on the Cory Condrey show and she said how her publicist told her, "You're too transparent, you need to be more private about your life and what you have gone through."

She said, "I can't do that, people need to know what I've been through so they know that it's not just them. That folks like me have struggles too."

I feel like her and some people have made comments about my transparency but I can't help it. I don't put everything out there but what I feel needs to be brought to light so others can relate and know they are not alone. When I do spoken word I talk to the crowd in between pieces so they know what I was thinking...going through and what brought me to writing about that subject. When someone thanks me I know that my ministry (which is my writing) has taken effect.

I have felt like I've been a failure in the relationship department. Relationship after relationship I felt like I failed. Several people have told me I haven't but until I know I haven't that is how I'm going to feel.

The word that Sunday struck me because Rev. Hayes said, "FAILURE IS NOT FINAL." Buckets of tears streamed down my face and when I saw people flocking to the alter because they wanted to be released of that feeling of being a failure I knew I wasn't alone. I too went to the alter and got on my knees and just let it out. All of the emotions over the years was being expunged from my spirit.

The one thing I tell people is that I have to take time and reflect on me...yes me. What can I do so I won't feel like this any more and I need to heal over the years of pain and hurt in order for God to send that individual to me that will be my husband and I to him.

Rev. Hayes said, "Failure is a refining process...it's like the passage about the potter. He could have used a different piece of clay but he kept reshaping and remolding the same piece."

I am that piece of clay, yes I have cracks in me and needed at many times to be remolded. I was that shattered jar at one point of time but instead of feeling destroyed years ago through emotions and ill mental thoughts of a broken relationship God reshaped me and has kept His hands on me ever since.

I had to share this because I walked out of church feeling a sense of renewal. I still have work to do and need to totally believe that I'm not a failure...but I know that I'm being refined, reshaped and molded like the lump of clay on a potter's wheel and in time I will be able to look back and reflect on what I thought was a failure and note it as a process that God put me through.

Not only am I being refined but I'm learning to listen to Him even more so I won't make the same mistakes again.

May peace be with you and I hope someone can learn from my story and look within and be honest with themselves so they too know that they are being refined and are not failures.

A Simple Thanks

It's been a while since I've posted anything on my blog. A lot has transpired in my life and I felt compelled to share with everyone that reads my work. Last year I was let go from my full time job and my last day was June 30, 2011. It's been a challenging time but despite everything I've been through I'm grateful. Fast forward...the organization that let me go rehired me on a part time contractual basis because of my reputation and hard work from the last place. Although I suffered a salary reduction I'm thankful to even bring home a pay check as many in America have gone without. I was unemployed for 8 months before being rehired but I had time to spend with my son and that is priceless.

When times got hard I sometimes became fearful but I had to remember that fear equates to little faith. God doesn't want me and whomever is reading this post to live in fear. He hears my cries and my prayers. I know that either a full time job will come my way or He will provide me with other ways to make ends meet like getting my books off the ground so I can be published, teach part time at a college and birth my dreams. Although some feel like I have accomplished my dreams I still have more that I would like to see happen. (Never limit your dreams).

I will end with a prayer that I wrote down in my gratitude journal:

God, I know you're my provider and counselor. When I want to talk about "sensitive areas" just remind me that you're always open to listening to me and I know you don't have a judgemental ear. Before I even ask or speak you already my heart and that its (whatever my need is or what I have dreamt about) already done.

With that being said I say thank you in advance for a full time job, thank you for my total healing of a broken heart in the past that grew into anger and that the anger be totally gone (I'm almost there God), thank you for allowing me to be able to provide for my son and thank you for those in my life that truly know me and what I'm about and know that it's just not about me.

Thank you God, it's because of your grace and mercy that I'm sane, loving, dedicated to my calling, passionate and prayerful.

As always...thank you for the daily protection over my son. Although I've been working for a few months I'm still not used to leaving him. But at the end of the day you know where my heart lay.

I love you God...and I simply say...thank you.

Event Alert!!! I'm performing on Thursday, June 28th, 2012 at Busboys and Poets on 5th and K Street, NW Washington, DC!

I'm honored to be a featured artist for One Common Unity as they present: Voices of a Movement!!!! The open mic is Thursday, June 28th at Busboys and Poets on 5th and K Street, NW! I'm going on around 9:10pm!

If you want to sign up for the mic please show up by 9pm as the list fills up quick!!! I'm happy to be featured with the great talents of Anonomas and Cee Love!!!!

Be there and spread the word!!!! Blessings!