Father's Day Weekend Random Reflections (written on June 21st)

As I listen to the sweet yet soulful voice of Deb Driscoll belting out, "I See Freedom, I See Freedom." I'm mellowed out. Its not your average fathers day weekend for me. I'm usually somber and somewhat depressed. But this weekend I got to work along side artists like Deb Driscoll who can belt out a Janis Joplin song to Nina Simone acapella, Matt Barron who can go from blues to a Bob Marley tune to the poetic genius of Michael Lagocki, to a visual explosion of artist Erica Davis.

It was a bitter sweet weekend as I performed for the last time as a Dallas resident at the ArtLoveMagic Fathers Day show on Saturday night at the Egg and I restaurant in Addison.

Bitter because I miss my Papa, bitter because I'll miss the creative collective that embraced my talents as a poet and writer. Sweetness as I head back east to the DC area, closer to family, work for myself as a contractor to nonprofits and continue making my dreams as a published author, reunite with long time friends and to the kids in my life.

Ahhhh the children in world are so sweet, busy and I love each of them. Such as Mr. Noah who may build an ark one day because he is so busy. Funny thing is he can't walk yet but keeps ya running! My friend Lia and Johnnie (Happy Belated Fathers Day Blaze) are moving back from Nicaragua the same time I move to VA and will have this ray of sunshine who makes my biological clock jiggle with his giggles!

One being this sweet guy here named Angel who will be 3. Character in his own right with a smile that will melt your heart.

Another being my cute nephew Dontae who is 7 going on 21. He's way too intelligent for his class and gets into trouble when he's not challenged (and he likes to talk a lot...I guess it runs in the family lol). But with a strong arm from his grandma, mom and titi Rena we will make sure he grows up to be the next Prez Obama.

To the grown, witty and sophisticated goddaughter of mine Kayla. Graduating from HS next year she has jumped many hurdles and overcome obstacles that the average almost 17 year old shouldn't face and can stand tall and say she is accomplishing her dreams by getting her education and applying for college.

Reflecting on my life in Dallas and all of my family and friends I sip on a sweet glass of Riesling as I nod my head to Aaron Garcia as he plucks those guitar strings as Deb mellows the audience with her soothing voice as she sings,"We let our own love fall behind, I'll be the first to reach out and touch your cheek" as I type stroke the keys on my blackberry making my own music called writing.

I'll miss these summer days listening to the artsy collective all over the city. On this fathers day weekend instead of moping around and feeling bad about my Papa not being here I'm happy that I'm able to share my love around the city and country through my lyrics and words. Thankful for the wonderful Dads that are in the lives of their children and for the kids and family in my life.

Today also marks the first day of summer solstice and my sista friend RiShana's birthday. RiShana has been my sista girl since 1993! Dynamic artist blossoming like wild flowers in the middle of a grassy field. Check her out around NYC through Pure LiT Productions and stay tuned for a collaboration piece soon.

Lastly today marks 9 years I met my fathers side. Ashamed growing up not knowing him wondering why he never acknowledged me. I remember this weekend in 2000 walking around the mall with my sister Shay Danee (hair stylist) and my older sister Jeannie. Shavonn I'm glad that our father had us so we could be sisters!

I always pray for Jeannie as she distanced herself from us not being able to embrace us. Its all good. God always has something planned and now that I'm 34 I can say I'm thankful the way life turned out. I'm thankful that Papa was the man in my life as he showed me true gentlemen hood, how a man should approach a lady and although quiet was full of knowledge.

Sitting on a comfy leather couch at Kelly's Eastside Restaurant in Plano, TX as Aaron Garcia takes over the mic while Deb is taking a much needed break I can honestly say this weekend has been peaceful and serene. Happy Fathers Day everyone! I hope your weekend was just as relaxing as mine turned out.

Have a Little Faith is Here for Purchase!!!

Yes it's here! I'm blessed once again to be published in another anthology! Have a Little Faith edited by Vanessa Miller is a compelling book with various authors as we tell our stories of our journeys and how we made it with some faith! I have two pieces published. A poem titled, "God's Whisper" and a story titled, "Spiritual Awakening."

You can now purchase your copy by clicking on the Paypal link on my page to the left! The price is $14.95 which includes shipping and handling!

Again thank you for your continuous support! Also don't forget the first anthology I'm in titled, Gumbo for the Soul Here's Our Child Where's the Village that can be purchased on either Barnes and Noble or Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Gumbo-Soul-Heres-Child-Wheres-Village/dp/1440101264/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245292996&sr=8-1 or http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Gumbo-for-the-Soul/Beverly-Black-Johnson/e/9781440101267/?itm=8

Stay tuned for more details on the arrival of the third anthology I'm published in titled, How I Freed My Soul, Volume 1. Edited by Khadijah Ali-Coleman! Peace and blessings and thank you for your support!!!

Etsy Online Shop Updated with New Product for the Special Man in Your Life!

Hello everyone! I hope all is well on this beautiful Saturday! I updated my online shop to include my special edition Father's Day frames.

The featured poems in my shop are His Voice in Black and Walnut frames (please see image below) and God's Whisper (black flat classy frames). His Voice Black and Walnut frames are $20-$25 + shipping and handling. God's Whisper frames are $15-$20 + shipping and handling.

Buy one or more frames as a gift for your Dad, that special man in your life or a great father! I wrote His Voice to all of the men that are in my life whom have inspired me whether they are fathers or not (those who aren't will make terrific Dads one day)!!!!

If you have any questions email me at serenawills@yahoo.com All orders placed by 12pm Thursday, June 18th will be shipped that day for a Saturday delivery (right in time for Fathers Day)!

My online shop website is http://www.divinewryte.etsy.com/

Have a glorious day!!!!!

I performed this piece tonight at the ArtLoveMagic open house in Deep Ellum. This is dedicated to all those who are trying to keep up with the Jones', forgetting about your loved ones and losing yourself in material things. As a wise woman once said...you may love it but you can't take it to the grave with you. Some choose money, cars and bling and wind up losing the love of their life. Not caring that their pipedreams are destoying their life. On that note I present to you...Bling Dreams!


Bling DreamS

He was a crack feen
Dope feen
Smoking that pipe
Called the American dream
He went from rags to riches
Thinking of cars, clothes and bitches
Pipe dreaming, smoking that pipe full of money, jewels and women
That can’t care for him
Or even dare to look out for a brother
Loving money, rims and bling cuff links
As he walks around dumb founded
The life he once envisioned
Has been clouded with selfish schemes
As he fulfilled his pipedreams
Thinking he went from ashy to classy
Accept the women weren’t calling you Big Daddy
Nope, not those who only see the money, paycheck and your cover up that you want to call life
As he battles internal demons
Dissin his friends who’ve been in his corner forever
Forgetting about those times he was admitted to the hospital
One time he didn’t have a dime and his friends got him out of trouble
We no longer fit into his bracket
That wanna be income level that you steadily waving in our faces
And it’s cool…just look to us when those demons come after you again
And again
And again
Keep smoking that crack pipe full of Blackberry’s or what I call Crackberry’s, wanna be important meetings, driving in a blinged out car while you still live with your parents
Check yourself before someone else does
You once saw me as your Queen
The one you wanted to share your dreams and goals with
Half on a baby and the house with the backyard
But
You tried to crush me as you made that move on up the corporate ladder
As you stopped taking those meds to even yourself out
Or was it the time you decided to move into the deluxe loft with that jacked up credit report
When we once envisioned the house with the white picket fence
You were high on yourself
Smelling yourself
And forgetting about all those who were in your corner
You forgot about me…
But this is my good bye letter to you
Cause I’m happier without ya
My dreams are real and my passions are being fulfilled
This is what we call life my brother
Realizing that I made a mistake
Instead of allowing Him to lead a man to me
I lead myself to you
Our paths never intertwined because I’m living life
As you are steadily
Smoking that crack pipe
Called material things
Trying to live in a bling dream
What you think is the American way
I’m letting go of my anger today…
You took too much of my time and it is time to let it go…
Just wake up brother
Wake up…before you lose more.

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills


All Rights are Reserved



Started October 26, 2007 and completed January 21st, 2008

Downward Spiral

I was compelled to write something about an issue that has been burning inside of me. I hear about how someone's friend went back to a bad relationship and I shake my head having been there before. But when the person is going back to someone who was once abusive it's easy for me to say, "What's wrong with her? Does she not get it? He's going to do it again."



But when that someone is in your own backyard, amongst your circle you are left speechless. You can say don't go back, or why are you doing this to yourself again? But they have to want to leave. I was once told, "I wish I was as strong as you," from this person. Damn...what do you say to that. I told this young sista to not measure herself up to me. I'm on no one's pedestal. I've made mistakes in the relationship department dating the wrong person who I thought was right or thinking I could change them or he would change for me. I tried to build her up and then she asked me, "Did anyone ever hit you? I mean would you go back if they said they changed their ways..."


Again I was stumped. Here this younger sista looks up to me and I told her, "Yes I had an ex that tried to grab me." Notice the word tried. I was all of 17 years old in high school in the subway station when my ex wanted to be a big man and tell me to not go to my basketball game (the play offs at that). I told him I gotta go and he proceeded to grab my arms. Everytime I moved he threw me up against the metal bars of a NYC subway station. Enough was enough. I don't know where the strength came from but I threw him off of me and we were throwing blows until the cops jumped in and held him back.


I was shocked, I never thought I would have to fight a man off of me. But I did. Did I go back to him. "Nope." I'm so thankful I was strong enough to say no to him after he called me months later stating how he changed. Well this changed brother got hung up on and then I heard shortly after he was locked up on drug charges. His spots never changed...


This younger sista is beautiful and talented but she went back to her ex again after he hit her, grabbed her, not having a job all to say, "But he's changed."


It's only been two months since the break up, he didn't change. As a wise woman once told me, "A leopard never changes their spots."


I only hope, pray and wish that this young sista would wake up and see how beautiful she is, gifted by His glory, talented, and is full of life. But somewhere she wants this man so much that she thinks she can change him.

According to the National Coalition of Domestic Violence they states:

• One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.


• An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
  
• 85% of domestic violence victims are women.
  
• Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.
  
• Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
  
• Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.
  

I once visited a recovery center and talked to women who kept going back to him after getting beaten. They said, "He wasn't like this before, I thought I could change him. I stayed and drank the pain away or got high so it wouldn't hurt so much."


Their self esteem had been beaten as they hung their heads low. Underneath the scars and tattered clothes stood a Queen, they couldn't see it yet but I could. Some of these women had degrees, MBA's, etc so status/education means nothing when it comes to how much they wanted to change their man.

Sadder part is most of these women had young children in the household then they were hit.


According to the same source the following can happen to youth:

• Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.
  
• Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
  
• 30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.
  

All of us may either know someone who has or still is going through this or knows someone that knows a person. One of my cousins said it best the other day, "Stop reaching downward in the gutter and reach high for your King." Brothers like this give real brothers (the ones I talked about in my poem His Voice) a bad rap. Not realizing that all men aren't the same.

I wrote this piece hoping I could inspire this young lady as I pray for her continually. I knew he was back in her life when she distanced herself yet again from me. It was as if I could feel her spirit shift from the 1,300+ miles away.

Would you go back if he said he changed? What would you say to uplift this young sista and others that are going through this?

Some never made it out as they lie in a grave. Shed some love for her and those who are stuck on the line, "But he changed, things will be better, he only hit me twice, it won't happen again..."

Praying that they see that his leopard spots haven't changed. Can he change...yes but he has to want to do it for himself, his creator and realize that he has a problem. Until he does...those spots aren't moving and you need to go forward with life and not be stuck or worst off...end up in a grave way before your time.

For more information on this topic you can log onto http://www.ncadv.org/

Peace...

Cube Life

This is dedicated to everyone who either is working in a cubicle or has in the past. It's not a great place sometimes. So I decided in my cube today to write a piece about my life in the cube. Enjoy and laugh!

Cube Life
I am in a cubicle
No door…no shelves…anything to call my own
I am in a shared space
Speaker phones blaring
Coughing, hacking and sneezing next to me
Personal calls on full blast
Living in the land of the show “Office Space”
20 people having a cube party
Someone sleep under their desk
While I’m trying to do some work and keep my cool
Working out of a box
As toxic breath and air crawls across the air vents
People with offices who have no shame
To keep their doors wide open
So I can hear their lame conversations
With yet another funder
Who doesn’t want to cut the check
Or a honey what’s for dinner did you let the dog out
Like I really care
Dilbert’s land…
Easily 10 people at any given time working around me
Getting louder by the second, minute, hour
As I begin to become uneasy
Flickering lights from the ceiling
Maintenance climbing on my desk yet again
Trying to fix the problem when it’s not the bulb
But electrical wiring instead
Lacking privacy
People following
Me down to my cube
When I haven’t even put my bag down
And turned the damn computer on
Question after question about an email
Never receiving one because you are still asking
When I haven’t even gotten a simple hello
My life in the cube world
Not the glamorous one
As bosses try to inflict us with pain
By adding more cubicles by the day
Week after week I feel like there is a hidden camera in the corner of the office
Cracking open my laptop as I hear
Voices getting louder
Speaker conversations going on
Same cubicle party still popping
Same dude still coughing
You Tube watchers slowing down the server
Broken heart singing that sad love song to their love no more
On speaker phone
Sigh
Welcome to my life
Cubicle life…
One of many
Unfortunately more people that have to deal with it


Dedicated to all of those that are cursed by cubicle life who are about to go stir crazy!

Copyright 2009 Serena Wills

All rights reserved

Abundant Love...Happy Mother's Day!

Hello everyone and Happy Mother's Day to the Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, Sisters, Godmothers and all women who impact or have impacted childrens lives!!!! It's because of the strong women such as yourselves that we are encouraged as a people to move forward and give back to the next generation.

This poem is dedicated to all those women and especially to my diamond, my love, my Iya, Marguerite "Sauti" Wills. The picture on the left is from 1984 when she brought home my sister Ayana from the hospital. She is so loving that she opened up her heart and home to adopt Ayana and my youngest sister Christina! I love you Ma!




Abundant Love

Her touch and embrace
As she wiped the tears from my face
Holding me tightly whispering, “It’s going to be okay”
Cleaning the dirt away from my scars
I remember those days
When Mama would make everything feel like brand new
Between cuts, scrapes, bruises on my skin from falling on my knees yet again
Mom has a tender touch as she told me to hold on tight
The sudden burn disappeared as Bactine was sprayed on my wound
In between sobs saying, thank you Mommy
Always wiping away the pain whether it was a scrape on my elbow
Or another love that didn’t go
In the direction that I thought it would be
Times when I couldn’t understand what was happening to me
Laughing now cause I was going through mere puberty
Causing her drama
But all mama could say was
Everything is going to be okay
Mothers have a way with words like no other
To this day I’m amazed of your strength and often wonder
How did we make it through
I love you
For being my warrior, knight in shining armor, pillars in my temple
Tending to my every sniffle, sneeze, fever, body ache and shiver
Raising all three on faith, hope, love
Reminding me that we were no one’s charity case
I still hold tight to the memories
How you struggled to raise us
Yet no matter what jokes were made by cruel kids my age
You would stroke my cheek and say
Better days are coming our way
Somehow you managed to pull another smile out of me
Mama, my Iya, Sauti my love
I can say on and on how much I love and adore you
Worship the ground you walk on and I feel
It still wouldn’t be enough
Relationship like no other
Blessed to call and have you as my mother
God had a master plan and although times were tough
You made it work for us
And this Mothers day
I salute you and every other mother
By simply stating, I love you

Happy Mother’s Day!

Copyright 2009 Serena Wills

All Rights are Reserved