Friday, January 16, 2009

The Roots!

Happy Born Day to Me! As my friend Raashida put it this morning on the phone (this is your personal New Year)! I love it! Thanks to everyone for your beautiful messages and shout outs!

I wrote this pieces about 9 years ago about how much we grow in comparison to a tree. From the roots to the branches and as one layer may fall off a new fresh one is growing. I thank God today that He gave me 34 years, that he whispered in my Mother's ear, "You can do it, you maybe a single parent but you're not alone." Thank you Iya! I'm so thankful for everything that has happened...even the challenges! Challenges made me stronger and adds fuel to my fire and passion! Look out for more things this year! More publications, possibility of birthing my poetry book and who else knows...enjoy!

The Roots

Oooooh chile will you look at that tree
My how much it has grown
From an itty bitty branch
To an overgrown oak
I remember when I picked that tree
Out of a bunch
I sure had a hunch
That this itty bitty tree
Would grow oh so much
My goodness that was only two years ago
It stood tall and strong amongst the others
Even the roots were mature compared to the rest
Couldn’t believe she was so young
As I bend down to look at the roots
She sure showed me some!
Of what she went through
Some roots were cracked and bark chipped away
From the season before
And even one of her branches hung low
I knew like nothing else you have a little wear and tear
But that tree was strong
As I stepped closer
I was very overcome
That bark that chipped away
Was slowly being replaced with new growth
Hmmph and the roots even began to look nurtured
With moist soil from the rain the night before
It help the roots to heal
And where the dead leaves had fallen off
Her branches were preparing for the new
I had to take her home and plant her in my backyard
Where she can grow, flourish and get some sun
A place where I can nurture her roots by watering them
Clip her hanging leaves and treat the old bark
Yes in deed!
She can be restored in no time
After the dead weight is lifted from her
That was just two years ago
And look at her grow
I tell her everyday it’s okay to get bigger
Grow stronger
Grow more leaves
And have some strong roots
Don’t forget where you came from
What you have been through
The weather might be rough sometimes
But your strong roots will keep you grounded
And just to think…my baby is not even three yet
Hmmph! You sure showed them!
As you protect us from the rain
Give us shade from the sun
And those beautiful leaves fall
For my babies to play in
Oh yes honey…keep growing
Keep going
And don’t let nothing stop you!
Just don’t forget about those roots
I’m here to repair them when needed
Nurture and even mend
So your branches won’t bend
You are forming into such a beautiful
Oak tree
As we sit underneath you to stay cool in the heat
Keeping growing honey until you get old
Then pass on what you have learned
To another soul who may need mending
Pass the root and stay strong
And continue to grow

Written By: Serena T. Wills

September 26th, 2000

Inspired by decision in life that made me realize that it is good to grow and its okay to move on!

Keep striving!

Copyright 2000 by Serena T. Wills
All Rights are Reserved

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Falling Out of Love

I know people logged onto this and thought I was going to talk about relationships between a man and woman or your ex lover. The one thing I started a discussion on before the new year hit with a couple of good friends was friends that fall out of love with one another. I've experienced it a couple of times here in Dallas, TX and it caught me off guard. I thought it was just me until I started talking to other people who said, "We just don't know why he/she stopped speaking to me, hanging out or they flipped because they got a man/woman and don't know how to act."

I would like to hear from people off and online if this has happened to you and if so what did you do about it? The first time it happened was summer of 2007 when a friend of mine at that time in Dallas got a little too comfortable and truly offended me at the dinner table. According to her track record after she proceeded to do so that one time with me is that in that one year she had already lost three friends because of her mouth. I realized that I had to let it go and move on and be thankful for the friends that I have.

It happened a couple of other times in 2008 where friends just fell off with me for no apparent reason. I reviewed my notes from church a few years back and the pastor at that time stated that everyone has a place in your life whether it's for a chapter or the entire book of life. Some may only have a few lines in one chapter and disappear. Don't be sad about it, just move on as it will be revealed why they were there for such a short period of time.

So in 2009 I know that one never knows who may fall in and out of their lives. But always remember there are those true blue die hard friends (the pillars in your temple I like to call them) that never crumble under pressure and have been there with you. Then there are those new pillars being built and then there are temporary facades on the temple. They are serving their purpose but eventually may fade away or be replaced.

Again I'm thankful for my beautiful friends (some who I consider my brothers and sisters) and remember that at some point of your life you may experience someone that just falls off the map for no reason. They might just be a temporary fixture in your life.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Sister's Love After Years of Not Knowing Her

Growing up I always felt as if there was a half of me missing. My Mom struggled to raise me on her own with the help of my Grandparents. My Papa was the man in my life and even though he's gone his memories and teachings are still with me. However I always felt like a piece of me was missing. I also knew that my father had other children besides me.

We were all disconnected from one another. At the time I didn't understand why he was absent and never recognized me but as I grew older I began to know why. His addictions and self destruction would have gotten the best of me and I was happy to hear that at the end of his life he did turn it around by teaching other younger brother and sisters how to love themselves and not the bottle or drugs.

I heard the many stories from friends of his and even one who said she was thankful that he impacted her life. She stopped drinking and taking drugs after working with him.

But unfortunately I never got a chance to meet him as he passed away in March of 2000. But God opened the doors to my sisters. One in particular.

Shavonn is one of my baby sisters. Yes she is going to be 28, but she is so far his youngest child and I'm even protective of her. We instantly bonded in June 2000 when I met her on Fathers Day weekend. When I looked in her eyes I felt like I was looking into a mirror. We favor each other a lot.

This past holiday we spent a lot of time in the city and took a trip down to Coney Island. It was frigid but we went to the beach on a mission and openly prayed by the ocean. As the moon cast down on us I looked over as I was bent down by the shore and saw her crying. I felt her trials, struggles and tribulations coming to an end as the tears streamed down her face.

After all these years God brought us together and we prayed together. I never got a chance to hold her in my arms and stroke her hair when she was younger. When I went to hug her she embraced me. I told her how beautiful she was and I was so blessed that God opened up the doors to my Dad's side and there she was, ready with open arms.

She cried harder and I embraced her as I felt her pain and she felt mine. On Monday, December 29th, 2008 we left all ill feelings, anguish, sadness and any hatred we had on that beach by the ocean. I forgave people, a couple in particular and now I finally feel totally free.

We walked back to the F train, and giggled as sisters do when we realized that we never had that moment together. I felt drained as a good cry will do to a person but relieved because all that hurt me was over and my sister could look back and learn from her life lessons and begin to live a fruitful life.

My sister's love is so strong even though I didn't have her in my life for 25 years. I prayed for those doors to the Hayes side to be opened and when they did I look back and never regret one moment. Prayer is so powerful and a sister or brothers love when genuine is so strong.

I Was Always a Queen...Even in the Eye of a Total Stranger

Happy New Year everyone! I just got back from Queens, NY where I spent days and nights visiting family, friends, traveling all over the city, catching up with peeps I hadn't seen in years and just taking a time out from the daily hustle and bustle of work.

As I ventured into the city one day I caught the Q9 bus to Jamaica Center in Queens, NY. I went to turn on my iPod to listen to some old school until I heard the bus driver greeting everyone that got on. A smile greeted my face as I turned back the clock and visited 1989-1993. Every morning when I rode the Q9 bus to the train to start my commute into Harlem where I went to school I too had a special bus driver.

His bus was always full and if you got on you were lucky. He greeted everyone with, "Good morning my Kings and Queens!"

The loud booming voice even made the wanna be thugs smile and give him a pound. He would talk to all the high school students and even adults. Every morning for four years I was reminded that I was a Queen!

As I would get off the bus and step down he would yell out, "Have a good day my Kings and Queens and don't let anyone tell you that you are anything else."

At first it didn't hit me, but as the weeks and months passed I loved the greeting. How cool was it to be announced as a Queen every morning at 7:10am! And if you were lucky...and I was a few times you got him as his shift ended in the afternoon.

When I fast forwarded to the present time I looked towards the back of the bus where some teens were starting to act rowdy. One fast stare of an elder calmed them down. But as I got off the Q9 and hit Jamaica Avenue I saw things differently. Girls with everything out (in 30 degree weather I might add), dudes yelling out sexual terms and talking down to their sistas. A couple would respond and some of our young Queens had the nerve to try and kick game with the dudes.

I stood outside on Parsons and Archer taking in everything and wondered if these young brothers and sisters knew that they were Kings and Queens and come from generations of rich heritage. If only they knew that out of the corner of someones eye an elder or adult was watching, shaking their heads.

I felt so blessed to have grown up in the era that I did and wonder if my good ole bus driver retired since he was up in age when he drove 20 years ago. The last day of high school I got on his bus and told him I was leaving for University and thanked him. He smiled and said, "I'm so proud of you and always remember no matter what you go through, think of where you came from and that you are a Queen!" I never knew his name after all those years and when I would visit home would hope to ride on his bus. But I never saw him again. I still thank him to this day.

We have to take our children back and teach them their heritage, where they came from, how to dress, how to approach and talk to one another.

They need to be taught that they are Kings and Queens. If you have a favorite person or that stranger that might have impacted your life please share. I wanted to start off the new year with good memories from way back when and even remind myself that I'm a Queen always and to never let anyone tell me other. Peace.