Parenthood Experience!

This is what I've learned and continue to find out as a new parent! Enjoy!

The best gifts are necessities! Christmas is coming! So it's great to get cute stuff but try and get the necessary items covered! We just had to buy diapers for the first time last month when Jordan turned 3 months old! Diapers are costly! Wipes and other essentials are great and gift cards to help are outstanding!

Network with other parents! I have friends that have given me clothes, toys, vibrating chairs, swings, etc for Jordan! They passed it on since their kids are bigger now!

Create a Mommy/Daddy swap! Some things I have are on "loan" because that family wants more kids and until they have them they loaned us stuff (swing, bassinet, vibrating chair)! Saved us a lot of $!

Don't buy every new gadget that's on the market! I love Babies R Us but that store can suck you in! There are gadgets I even had on my baby registry that I took off (thanks to some great friends)! Like pacifier wipes, a wipe warmer, the car wipe warmer, the baby bathtub with shower head/jacuzzi mechanism which is shown above)! Need I say more!

Don't listen to everyone! MY GOD! People had some serious opinions during my pregnancy! Listen to some advice but don't get overwhelmed (its very easy to get irritated with the amount of advice you will receive)!

Its okay to politely tell people to please mind their business. Also its fine to tell people to not touch your belly if you're pregnant. I had strangers who wanted to touch my belly! No...back off!

Don't buy a lot of newborn stuff! Your child might not even fit it and if they do it will be a very short period.

You're not eating for (2)! You can eat healthy while carrying your baby but if you want the baby weight to fall off afterwards please do yourself and the baby a favor and watch what you put into your body while you're preggers!

Your doctor/pediatrician is your friend. At least mine was/are! I told my OB about all the lovely comments and advice I was receiving. He humorously said, "You can ask me anything...that's what I get paid the big bucks to do." Lol. But seriously, have a good relationship with them and ask questions.

Once the baby is here, go out! Don't become a hermit. You want your child to be exposed to the world. I'm not saying go to a rock concert. But get out. Go shopping, a new mom's/dad's group, visit friends, family, etc.

Please start buying bigger clothes (going back to buying a bunch of new born clothes)...plan outward and diversify their wardrobe with all sizes.

Accept help! If a friend says, "I'll come over so you can take a nap, wash clothes, go for a walk/run, etc and I'll watch the baby." Then you should answer with, "Yes! Please come by!"

Did I say don't get caught up in buying all the latest gadgets lol!

Wanna make a profit while making space? Then put the baby things on Craigslist or they even now have markets where parents can set tables up and sell stuff. Some parents know they aren't having any more children. So why hang onto everything. Make room and money (you can start your kids savings account this way too)!

Review ratings of products! Very important!
 
I wrote this to help out expecting/new parents and hope other parents can add to it! Now my son is only 4 months old and I've experienced all of this! Imagine 4 months down the line. Enjoy parenthood!

Getting Ready for the New!!!!

I went to Reid Temple AME in Glenn Arden, MD on Sunday, November 13th to witness a dear sista friend of mine son get baptized. I was intrigued with the sermon and it came to me at such a delicate time of my life.

The pastor spoke about bringing old things into the new. There are some old things you can bring with you into new places. The old things that "work" and then there are those things that should have been left behind.

Friendships, grudges, emotions of a love gone wrong or feelings for someone who doesn't appreciate you are examples of what he spoke about. He used the perfect metaphor which I thought was funny at first and then when he brought it home everyone stood to their feet.

He collects old hotel keys (lol). The plastic ones. His wife hates that he does that! He said he went into a city to preach and pulled out an old key by accident to open the door. Of course the door wouldn't open he tried again and realized he pulled out the old key to open up a new door!

This made perfect sense! Too many times people bring old stuff into a new opportunity that God grants you and yet they don't understand why it isn't working.

Today I need to start sifting through some of my own old things. Although it might hurt to sweep out these old things...I have to because I'm going to block God's blessing and new opportunities if I don't get it together.

Some of us are given opportunities right in our face (God might bless you with a mate that's right for you) and because you're so hung up on "old things" you miss the new opportunity. The pastor left us with this, "Don't let God see that you under appreciate your new opportunity whether it be a mate, work, finances, etc. He can take it away and you may never get that opportunity again."

Think about what you keep dragging around, any new opportunities you're letting slip away and begin the work. Its not easy (I know) but its necessary.

Love of My Life

Dedicated to the love of my life...

Your smile and tender touch
Brings tears to my eyes on a daily
I've been through storms that not even the average person should have survived
All of my storms lead to blessings and sun shine
Never have I experienced a love like this before
From your beautiful bright eyes
To a smile that's a mile wide
Even when my days are grey
I look at you and my spirit is renewed
God blessed me with an angel
My first born
Willing to do
All I can as your mother
To the little man in my life
Jordan Oladele...I love you
Grandma Sauti was right...she sent you to us as she promised
I have so many plans and dreams that were deferred
Now my dreams will be ours
And we'll even create new ones!
Thank you son for choosing me as your mother

May our lives be long together

Written By:

Serena Wills

Copyright (c) 2011

My Life as a Mother

Its been a long time since posting to my blog. Between the tail end of my pregnancy being full of unpacking my new apartment, getting ready for the newest addition to the world and then giving birth I've been busy. My life has changed since Jordan was born 3 months ago...but for the better. Every time I tried to write about my life and motherhood I became stuck. Almost speechless because there aren't enough words to describe how I feel.

What helped me to get unstuck in regards to my writing was watching how short life can be. My family has lost a couple of family members and our community has lost legends. I thought to myself, what if my time was up? My son would have no recollection in writing about how I feel as a mother. So here we go...

Dearest Jordan,

You're the sunshine of my life! I never knew I could love like this until I held you for the first time in my arms. I didn't want to let go of you and when I looked into your eyes I knew there was a God! Now don't get me wrong...I know God is real. But having you confirmed that God can make people love again, He can also show adults like me that love truly exists! After your Grandma Sauti passed away I crawled into a shell...I was at a loss. I didn't think I could love again or open up because I was (and still am) hurt that she had to leave us. Then I reconnected with your father and then came you.

I loved being pregnant with you and now that you're here I love leaning over the crib to say "Good Morning" and in return I get a huge smile!

I pray to God that we have a long life together! There are so many things to show you, dreams I have, stories to tell you and things to experience through the eyes of being your mother. You're so special to me and quite a few people. You're even blessed to have (3) living great grandparents!

We're going to have fun together between taking you to African dance class (I danced with you for 8 months of my pregnancy) to running (you're already practicing with those active feet)! I want you to have a life greater than me and your father's put together! I want you to see the world with those huge eyes of yours!

Loving you is a treasure! Jordan I thank you because one of my life long dreams was to become a mother and now I have you. I love you so much.

Writing Hiatus

It's been a while since I wrote on my blog. Life has gone in so many different directions this year and I feel as if I have a lot to say but it's all cluttered in my brain. Being pregnant has been such a blessing and I know once my beautiful son enters this world he will give me even more inspiration to write.

I also feel as if God is telling me that I have so much written that it's time to start birthing all of it by publishing my books. He always makes a way and although money is super tight with us preparing for little one I know somehow...someway...God will provide a way for me to finally birth my books. I've learned to not listen to everyone this year. Everyone has an opinion...and I mean everyone. One person went as far to tell me I might as well put my books and dreams on the back burner until next year or so because I can't be a new mother and keep pursuing my writing career. Some of you might be shaking your heads, but my pregnancy has shed a lot and I mean a lot of light. I just pray and meditate and whatever God wants me to do I will do it and shut out all negative energy and put it into my internal neglect file (start one...you'll have so much peace once you realize you can't take in or listen to everyone). The one thing I am hearing from Him is to not defer my dreams and to continue to love. If anything make my son a part of my dreams (he'll like the fun ride we will take together on this journey).

Stay tuned for what's next in my journey called life. So far this year has been a true blessing. After losing my sister Ayana in 2007, Mom in 2010 God said its enough and I need to receive abundant blessings. Regardless of what people may think...it's my time to shine.

Sometimes when there is silence after you pray, don't fret. God is working on something bigger and better for you. Silence is powerful. I know I will get clear direction as to what to do in regards to my writing and finding resources soon. He always comes right...on...time.

God bless and have a fantastic week, month and summer.

Few copies left of "Keeping the Faith Anthology" Support Me By Buying a Copy Today!

One of the best things I've heard after reading an excerpt of my story at an open mic or event is, "Thank you for being transparent and allowing others to be inspired!" I still have copies left of Keeping the Faith Edited By Essence Magazine Best Seller Vanessa Miller! It's been great sharing the story about my mother titled, "Listening Ear." The book is available and on sale right here on my website!


Buy your copy by going to the left hand column and click below the book cover, choose how many books and you will be directed to a secure PayPal website. Also if you live in the DMV area (DC/MD/VA) I will arrange to bring copies directly to you!

Here’s a snippet of the true story about my mother’s battle of Ovarian Cancer.

Looking back I think Nana knew something. There was an unusual nervousness in her voice when she asked, “Is everything okay? Can she come home yet?”


Not wanting my grandmother to know the full weight of the situation, I looked her in the eye and said, “I’m going to see and will let you know.”

I jumped into a cab and went to Jamaica Hospital which was ten minutes away. I imagined the room to be dark and filled with demons meeting me at the door. When I walked into the room, I saw my mother resting peacefully. I kissed her on the cheek and she woke up smiling. The next few hours we talked about life. She held my hand and gave me firm instructions on her final arrangements. Towards the end of the conversation I said, “Ma, we’re going to beat this! I need you to believe me. Why do we have to talk about this?”

She smiled and said, “Serena, I’m so thankful and I wanted you to know that. Because, if I die, I don’t want anything to be left unsaid.”
Puzzled I said, “Come again?”

Mom said, “I’m so grateful. I have you, Christina, family and friends. I’m glad I had a chance to adopt Ayana and care for her before she died two years ago.”

Here my mother was sick with the most advanced stage of cancer and she could still say how grateful she was. That night she taught me something in that dank hospital room. No matter how bad the situation seems or how deep the waters are, I should open up my mouth and say, “Lord I Thank You for what I have.”

Please support me and purchase a copy or two or more. I can even make arrangements to meet you so you can buy the book. I will only hold books for 1 business week only. Spread the word and purchase your copy today! Peace and blessings!

Mark Your Calendar! I'm One of the Featured Artists Performing at, "Words, Images, Movement and Sound!"

Blessings to everyone! I will be one of the featured artists at the Baltimore County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc event titled, "Words, Images, Movement and Sound." Come out Sunday, May 22, 2011 from 3-5pm. Located at The Randallstown Community Center, 3505 Resource Drive, Randallstown, MD 21133. I will be reading an excerpt of my most recent published story titled, "Listening Ear" which is in "Keeping the Faith anthology" and some poetry. I will have framed poetry and books for sale. Come out and enjoy this FREE event dedicated to the arts!

Do your part and support the arts! Peace and love!

White Candles



Mom African Dancing in 1979



Second Mother's Day without my sweet mother and I'm surviving. One day at a time and sometimes one moment. Let peace enter your heart and begin to heal as I've done. It's so hard, but I'm getting there and for those out there that have lost their sweet mothers or other women in their lives...let the healing begin. Pull out old pictures, laugh at the sweet memories shared and smile because you had a loving mother. May peace be with you.

White Candles


White candles burn

Sweet aroma throughout my house

Vanilla, gardenia, jasmine and white rose

Cleansing as it leaves a calm that was lost months ago

Glow from the flame gives my spirit light

Ancestor’s are lifted

Flickering in the still of the night

Crackling sounds of the wick is all I hear through the dark

White candles give me peace and hope like a dove that flies through the sky

On my knees praying as I place white flowers next to the smiling faces in pictures of those lost

Remembering them through the gift of light of my burning candles

I soon reminisce about lessons learned

Mother taught me to never yearn for the dead

She said instead light beautiful white candles

Talk to those gone and they will be your listening ear

She also told me, “When I’m gone I’ll always be near to hear and guide you.”

I believe her and know that the light is shining through me as it burns

Symbolizing purity and peace

Something I never thought I would feel again or at least


For a long time to come

Simple things have helped me grieve

Although you had to leave

I will always talk to you day and night

Promising to you that one day I’ll feel joy

Calmness is building inside me

And one day…I’ll even feel as bright as the color white

My passion will be on fire again like the wick that burns

I promise you…one day…I’ll feel like those white candles

Written By: Serena T. Wills
 
Dedicated to My Sweet Mother Marguerite "Sauti" Wills May You Rest In Peace



On this Mother's Day This is Also Dedicated to All the Grandmothers, Mothers, Aunts and Women That Have Passed Away and Touched Our Lives. We Love and Miss You!

 

Copyright 2011 (All Rights Reserved)





Mother's Day Special! Receive a Free Laminated 8x10 Poem with Book Purchase!

Hi everyone and blessings to you! Thank you to everyone that has supported and purchased a copy of the anthology I'm published in titled, "Keeping the Faith." I've gotten great reviews about my story from readers that have purchased and already read the book!

Here's what children's author Kelly Starling-Lyons had to say, "I was so moved by your essay. What a beautiful testimony. Proud of you, Serena. Keep celebrating your mom's life. Love that the meaning of Sauti is voice. Thank you for sharing your voice and memory with us."

“Keeping the Faith” is edited by Vanessa Miller. She’s an author and Essence Magazine Best Seller!

My story is titled, “Listening Ear.” I have a snippet below in the last posting. You can also purchase a copy online and I promise to sign it and send off to you. Prices include shipping charges.

I'm offering a special deal for Mother's Day! All orders placed before or on May 5th will receive an 8x10 Laminated Poem titled, "Abundant Love." Abundant Love is written for all mothers. This is a $10 value and I'm offering it free with the purchase of a book. Here is a snippet of the poem below:

Abundant Love


Her touch and embrace
As she wiped the tears from my face
Holding me tightly whispering, “It’s going to be okay”
Cleaning the dirt away from my scars
I remember those days
When Mama would make everything feel like brand new
Between cuts, scrapes, bruises on my skin from falling on my knees yet again
Mom has a tender touch as she told me to hold on tight
The sudden burn disappeared as Bactine was sprayed on my wound
In between sobs saying, thank you Mommy
Always wiping away the pain whether it was a scrape on my elbow
Or another love that didn’t go
In the direction that I thought it would be
Times when I couldn’t understand what was happening to me
Laughing now cause I was going through mere puberty
Causing her drama
But all mama could say was
Everything is going to be okay
Mothers have a way with words like no other
To this day I’m amazed of your strength and often wonder
How did we make it through...

If you live in the DMV (DC/MD/VA area) I can also drop a copy or two or how many you want to you directly. They are $10.00 each.

Remember this offer is only good until May 5th, 2011. Buy your copy and get a free poem today! Thank you in advance for your support!!!!!

I'm a Contributing Author in Keeping the Faith Anthology Now On Sale!

    GREAT NEWS! I’m a contributing author in the Keeping the Faith anthology by Vanessa Miller is Available and On Sale right here on my website! Buy your copy by going to the left hand column and click below the book cover, choose how many books and you will be directed to a secure PayPal website.

    I have a special for organizations, schools, clubs, fraternities, sororities, etc that buy 10 or more books (free shipping and 1 free book included in the shipping). Shipping charges are included in the price for other quantities. I have a limited quantity so act fast.

    The piece I published in this very moving book is titled, “Listening Ear.” Here’s a snippet of the true story about my mother’s battle of Ovarian Cancer.

    Looking back I think Nana knew something. There was an unusual nervousness in her voice when she asked, “Is everything okay? Can she come home yet?”
    Not wanting my grandmother to know the full weight of the situation, I looked her in the eye and said, “I’m going to see and will let you know.”

    I jumped into a cab and went to Jamaica Hospital which was ten minutes away. I imagined the room to be dark and filled with demons meeting me at the door. When I walked into the room, I saw my mother resting peacefully. I kissed her on the cheek and she woke up smiling. The next few hours we talked about life. She held my hand and gave me firm instructions on her final arrangements. Towards the end of the conversation I said, “Ma, we’re going to beat this! I need you to believe me. Why do we have to talk about this?”

    She smiled and said, “Serena, I’m so thankful and I wanted you to know that. Because, if I die, I don’t want anything to be left unsaid.”

    Puzzled I said, “Come again?”

    Mom said, “I’m so grateful. I have you, Christina, family and friends. I’m glad I had a chance to adopt Ayana and care for her before she died two years ago.”

    Here my mother was sick with the most advanced stage of cancer and she could still say how grateful she was. That night she taught me something in that dank hospital room. No matter how bad the situation seems or how deep the waters are, I should open up my mouth and say, “Lord I Thank You for what I have.”

    Please support me and purchase a copy or two or more. I can even make arrangements to meet you so you can buy the book. I will only hold books for 1 business week and after that I must release them (nothing personal…its business)

    Please spread the word and purchase your copy today! Peace and blessings!

Musical Dedication to my father Wendell Hayes (RIP)



Wendell Hayes on Right with His Birdhouse

 For those who don't know the story, I never knew my father physically but always heard the stories about how my physique is like his (tall glass of water they called him), long strides as if we aren't in a hurry, fuzzy eyebrows, lots of hair, even at times my attitude is compared to his, etc...

His love for music runs in my veins and today on March 4th, marks 11 years that he left this world physically. I know him through my spirit, through the stories from my sister Shavonn, her mother Patricia, cousins, Uncle Bill, my Aunt Regina and a slew of his friends such as Baba Yomi, Bradley, Craig, Arthur and others. He was a great drummer and although he was known for his African drumming I heard through the grapevine that my Dad loved Afro Cuban music. Funny thing is I love Afro Cuban too and always did.

I salute you Wendell R. Hayes. God had a plan and although I never met you I'm glad I united with my "Hayes" family 11 years ago and know you're a father to me from above. May you play your drums in heaven. Peace and love and enjoy the musical journey...

We Shall Meet Again

Mommy African Dancing at Chief Bey's Tribute 1979

A co worker gave me a prayer book last year right after Mommy passed away. Out of all of the prayers this one stuck out to me and it read:

May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm on your face
The rain fall softly on your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

Irish Blessing...Author Unknown

This blessing/prayer sits on my dresser and I read it from time to time reminding me that although we lost my mother Marguerite "Sauti" Wills a year ago on February 19th, 2010 to Ovarian cancer that she is in heaven and prayed this prayer for myself, family and loved ones she left behind.

I can't believe a year has gone by and one of my mother's good friends from Philadelphia told me in April 2010 for me to get ready because Sauti is about to rearrange your life in such a way. She now has the power to bless her family divinely and doesn't want to see you struggle any more.

I respect this man's opinion as he is a very spiritual brother and since Mom has transitioned to being an ancestor, my life every month, every day, every hour, every second is being rearranged for the better. Although she is gone I feel her every day and I know she is with me and will never leave my side nor my family. Even friends have felt her presence.

I've been through quite a few trials and tribulations since her death but towards the end of 2010 I felt them break. I've been blessed and they just keep coming. I feel my strength returning and my passions growing. I had to clean house because some people just couldn't walk the same path or journey with me. Although it hurt...it hurt me more to know how people can only be there when the sun is shining and not when the storm has hit. It's hurtful even when people are there in your life and they try to turn it even more upside down but yet they claim they are there for you. Although scary, I had to clean house and my path has been a bit straighter since. I learned all of this through the wisdom and love of my mother. She taught to take risks and she left me with the words of, "I want you to be happy."

To my sweet Iya Sauti, I miss you more then I can ever explain. I can write poems, articles and books about you and it still wouldn't say enough. Losing you has left a void in my heart that no one can fill but somehow you taught me that although a heart can be heavy that there is still room for love and to love and live life to the fullest. Grieving won't last always but missing you will. Ase to you...ase, ase, ase.

(Ase *Ah-shay* in the West African culture is said when we give thanks and praise our ancestors).

May peace be with each of you on this day.

His Voice



Father with Daughter (my good friend Will and daughter Siena) photo by Delilah Whisenhunt

 I had to bring this poem back. It's almost 2 years old but as of lately I've seen a lot of my brothers going above and beyond to care for their families and they are an inspiration to me. The love they have for others is very real...I thank you for being an inspiration.

His Voice

Dedicated to the true man…

Intellectual

Harmonious

Melody

Depicts a man’s strong voice

Who isn’t afraid to think

Encourage

And motivate your whole thought process

Mover and shaker

Building a foundation for his family

Spiritual leader and the healer for his wife

Partner in someone’s wildest dreams

Intervenes when he needs

Peace and unity in his circle and life

This goes out to the true man

Hardcore worker

Back breaker

Peacemaker

Lover

One who fills my soul with his mere intellect

He turns my spirit on in such a way

When he gets down on his knees and simply prays

Honest and truthful

God’s divine model

Of what a true man possesses

Aware of his Creator and who’s really in charge

Father to his kids and sometimes others

Beautiful son to his mother and elders

Embraces his culture

Open mindedness to what life has to offer

Doesn’t mess around or toys with anyone’s feelings

Man of God, truth and justice

True King in my eyes

As he walks with no fear to protect his community

Leaving me to simply love thee

This goes out to the true man

Not everyone can raise their hand

And fill his shoes

He’s no one’s boy

Done with those days of playing

Bending down on his knees

Praying for the little boys in the streets to grow up

Taking their place in society

Voicing concern to those who think they’re real men

But they aren’t as he strives to inspire

All those he touches

Knowing his passions and calling

This is dedicated to the true and worthy men…

Peace and Love,

Serena T. Wills

Written March 7, 2009

Copyright 2009

 

All Rights Reserved 

Awakening

I wrote this piece last year right after Mom's passing as I knew one day my spirit would be awakened again. Speaking with those who have survived an illness, emotional breakdowns, love gone wrong...whatever the case was, they were finally awakened and renewed. Read, feel, love, enjoy...

Awakening

Fresh grass growing beneath my feet

Flowers blooming

Morning dew tickling me

Cherry blossoms in their fullness

Awake from a hard winter

Animals once again mate

Out from hibernation

I’ve been trapped too long

Yearning to escape like the flying birds above me

Soaring high as the clouds

Spring breeze swirling

Life awakened

Honey bees buzzing

Ladybugs crawling

Symbols of life after the storm

Welcoming the new season

Feeling refreshed and renewed as these creatures

Mother nature

Calling me personally

Life changes like seasons

Greet the warmth as these are the good times

Cold no more

Dawn arose on my side today

Waking up on the right side of the bed

Sun shining in my face

Open up my window

Hearing the children laughing and playing

Closing the chapters from before

Spoke of doom, gloom and the blues

Time for a new start

Evolution of me

Opening my mind to something new

Not borrowed or blue

I want a love for my own

Past defeat is gone

Being able to celebrate the lives of those gone

Awakened life

Even physically

Stand straighter

Chest out

Head up

Pep in my step

Laughing a little louder

Blame the awakening

Instilled finally

In the depths of my mind, body and soul

Alive

Conscious of my path ahead

Anxiously awaiting

Next steps

I can live again…awakened


Copyright 2010 by Serena Wills

All Rights are Reserved