A Simple Thanks

It's been a while since I've posted anything on my blog. A lot has transpired in my life and I felt compelled to share with everyone that reads my work. Last year I was let go from my full time job and my last day was June 30, 2011. It's been a challenging time but despite everything I've been through I'm grateful. Fast forward...the organization that let me go rehired me on a part time contractual basis because of my reputation and hard work from the last place. Although I suffered a salary reduction I'm thankful to even bring home a pay check as many in America have gone without. I was unemployed for 8 months before being rehired but I had time to spend with my son and that is priceless.

When times got hard I sometimes became fearful but I had to remember that fear equates to little faith. God doesn't want me and whomever is reading this post to live in fear. He hears my cries and my prayers. I know that either a full time job will come my way or He will provide me with other ways to make ends meet like getting my books off the ground so I can be published, teach part time at a college and birth my dreams. Although some feel like I have accomplished my dreams I still have more that I would like to see happen. (Never limit your dreams).

I will end with a prayer that I wrote down in my gratitude journal:

God, I know you're my provider and counselor. When I want to talk about "sensitive areas" just remind me that you're always open to listening to me and I know you don't have a judgemental ear. Before I even ask or speak you already my heart and that its (whatever my need is or what I have dreamt about) already done.

With that being said I say thank you in advance for a full time job, thank you for my total healing of a broken heart in the past that grew into anger and that the anger be totally gone (I'm almost there God), thank you for allowing me to be able to provide for my son and thank you for those in my life that truly know me and what I'm about and know that it's just not about me.

Thank you God, it's because of your grace and mercy that I'm sane, loving, dedicated to my calling, passionate and prayerful.

As always...thank you for the daily protection over my son. Although I've been working for a few months I'm still not used to leaving him. But at the end of the day you know where my heart lay.

I love you God...and I simply say...thank you.

Something Old and Something New...

When I was in Girl Scouts there was a song we sang every week:
“Make new friends
But keep the old
One is silver
And the other is gold.”

But is it the same for love? What if you were used to dating a certain type of man or woman and all of a sudden your eyes were opened to something new. A couple of weeks ago I watched the movie, “Something New.” No matter how many times I watch it I fall more in love with it. It also showed me things that we deal with in society about how people are indirectly prejudice. They would prefer to date a black man as Sanaa Lathan stated in the movie but your king could be standing right in front of you and could be of another race. Would you turn your head the other direction and keep looking for something that you think is good for you but may not.

I also had a discussion with a dear friend of mine (male) that has a list/criteria for his future wife as Sanaa’s character (Kenya) did in the movie. I understand that we all have a hidden list but something you may miss out if your list gets a little too long. I’m not saying settle but what if your future wife in his case has a master’s degree but not from a particular school as my friend stated. Would he still turn the cheek and keep finding the woman of his dreams with a particular education?
I used to be that woman with the criteria and a laundry list of do’s and don’ts. One of my preferences on my list was dating or marrying a brother (black man). As life has unfolded my list is getting shorter. Okay so I will date someone 5’10” instead of the 6’ feet and over rule now, or someone who doesn’t have a masters like me or a man who is not a 9-5 guy but a hard working man.

Living in Dallas made me open my eyes as I met a couple of guys that I would never think I had anything in common with because I was coming off as a Kenya McQueen from the movie. As I got to know them I liked what I experienced. It was something new for me and a few of my friends as we get older really want at the end of the day a good man. Someone who takes care of his household, spiritual, knows who God (or your specific creator) is and what He has done for him, goals, dreams, ambitions and loves his family. Not a lot to ask for. But notice how race wasn’t in there, height (even though I still love them tall), or a 9-5 person.

I discovered that spirits need to connect and sometimes you may have a 9-5 job and he doesn’t (vice versa), nor he or she might not have graduated from an Ivy League school (so what), but ask yourself as Heavy D did in a song back in the day, “Is it good to you?”

Do you get that feeling that you can tear down the walls and truly be the person you are around this person? No hiding or making yourself into something you’re not because of fear that he or she will break out. Can you look them in the eye and say to yourself, “Okay so what he is an inch shorter than me…I love him so much and I’m blessed to have him.” Do you care about going out and when people ask you what he does for a living and you answer, “He’s a professional landscaper (landscape architect) that loves planting flowers.” Also are you willing to take that step out your box and date outside of your race?

I’m bringing this up because as I said I had a wakeup call before I left Dallas, TX. The man has it going on, no he’s not a 9-5 cat and he absolutely loves what he does. I told him he is deserving of a woman that will love what he does as well as his talents will mesmerize anyone. Really open and what I truly appreciate about him is that he laid it all out on the table. Everything…good and bad. I told him I truly respect him because not every man nor woman will put themselves completely out there. In other words he is giving you the choice to see him naked and you gotta love that about him. At least I do.

So we are great friends, but I thank him for opening up my eyes. One never knows where something new will come from and when it does be open to accept it because you may ask God for that good woman or man and He will give them to you. But if your eyes are closed then you may miss the gift because he/she may be of a different race and may not fit your long lengthy list of criteria. Are you going to be like Kenya McQueen in the move (played by Sanaa Lathan) and go after her heart (Brian) played by Simon Baker and love or do what she could have done…date a guy (played by Blair Underwood) because he fits your whole list but you don’t have one ounce of connectivity.

Something new to think about…