Monday, September 15, 2008

Hiding in the Darkness

As I reflect on 2008 I'm steady praying for those friends that are in my life that support and encourage me. Then I think about those that I've lost. Not due to death or illness; but friends I've lost because they've decided to hide in the darkness. Darkness can be a few things; whether it's hiding behind lies, mental issues, their past, phony attitude, etc. This piece is dedicated to people who have lost themselves and are hiding in the darkness of their past. They don't want to address their issues...maybe they are afraid of being judged, being found out. Mental illness is very real and people's true colors will come out. If they don't want to deal with you then to hell with them. They cut off old friends that knew their dark secrets and found new ones acting like everything was okay. When in all actuality their true friends would remain in their corner. Stop hiding in the darkness and stand up to your issues before you are lost in them.

Mental Bondage

Mind is trapped
By this demon
He has wrapped his arms around my mentality
And has my spirit in bondage
I chose to give in cause I was tired of fighting
Too many meds and no sleep was getting tiring
Tired of waiting for God to work miracles
So I trusted myself and fixed myself…I think
I got demons in my system and I don’t know how to shake em
I’ve lost friends and loved ones who kept trying to tell me what to do
When to do
How to do
Too many doctors to count
Just testing me out
So I stopped doing everything that was supposed to help me
And now the person in front of you is one that I don’t even know
I am somebody else…and I keep losing people around me
I just can’t get around the meds
Physiological insanity that constantly brews
From childhood to manhood I have lost many battles
And even question my faith
A lot was taken from me and I don’t know what to do
Why do I have to live with demons inside my soul
Why do I choose to lock out God when others tell me He is in control
Continuing to lose people, jumping from woman to woman
Man to man who I think are my soulmates
So maybe one day I will let God in
In the meantime I guess I have to become friends
With the demons that live within
I know I have a choice to make
But I feel so weak
And even at times I feel evil
So pray for me y’all and maybe one day
I will let the Lord into my life
And let Him fight off these demons that have a hold on my mentality
And this thing called life

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills All Rights Reserved

1 comment:

shadrieka said...

Nice blog! I haven't forgotten about you. I'll be able to breathe soon!