Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Falling Out of Love

I know people logged onto this and thought I was going to talk about relationships between a man and woman or your ex lover. The one thing I started a discussion on before the new year hit with a couple of good friends was friends that fall out of love with one another. I've experienced it a couple of times here in Dallas, TX and it caught me off guard. I thought it was just me until I started talking to other people who said, "We just don't know why he/she stopped speaking to me, hanging out or they flipped because they got a man/woman and don't know how to act."

I would like to hear from people off and online if this has happened to you and if so what did you do about it? The first time it happened was summer of 2007 when a friend of mine at that time in Dallas got a little too comfortable and truly offended me at the dinner table. According to her track record after she proceeded to do so that one time with me is that in that one year she had already lost three friends because of her mouth. I realized that I had to let it go and move on and be thankful for the friends that I have.

It happened a couple of other times in 2008 where friends just fell off with me for no apparent reason. I reviewed my notes from church a few years back and the pastor at that time stated that everyone has a place in your life whether it's for a chapter or the entire book of life. Some may only have a few lines in one chapter and disappear. Don't be sad about it, just move on as it will be revealed why they were there for such a short period of time.

So in 2009 I know that one never knows who may fall in and out of their lives. But always remember there are those true blue die hard friends (the pillars in your temple I like to call them) that never crumble under pressure and have been there with you. Then there are those new pillars being built and then there are temporary facades on the temple. They are serving their purpose but eventually may fade away or be replaced.

Again I'm thankful for my beautiful friends (some who I consider my brothers and sisters) and remember that at some point of your life you may experience someone that just falls off the map for no reason. They might just be a temporary fixture in your life.


Brooke said...


I can so relate to the this topic because I've had many friends come in and out of my life. At the time, I was sad...or angry...or disappointed. It wasn't until months, sometimes YEARS later that I realize the role they played in my movie of my life. Some have a big part to play, others have just one line. But all are necessary to keep the story going, to help it move, flow and grow.

I'd rather fall OUT of love with a friend than be hurt or disappointed by one. I had friends who I THOUGHT were my friends, only to find out they secretly didn't wish me well. I STILL have friends who I feel are suspect - and I keep them CLOSE. Not close to my heart, but in my line of sight. Nothing is worse than finding out someone isn't who you thought they'd be.

In the end tho, all that matters is that we find out who our true friends are and hold onto them tight. Those are the relationships I try to nurture and grow. The other ones, I keep them in their proper place and let them play their role. Sometimes it's hard to fathom, but like Katt Williams said, "if you have 20 haters in your life, then you need to find out how to get to 40 by the time the summer gets here!" LOL! I say that in jest, but there is some truth to it. Not everyone will be your friend. Some will be there to hate JUST to show you that you're doing something right. Like you said, everyone is in your life for a reason, even if it's short-lived. The trick is recognizing what role they play in your life and keeping them from changing who you are or affecting your life in a negative way.

This was a great post, I look forward to the next one!

Serena W. said...

Thanks Brooke for leaving a comment on the blog lol. I remember us talking about getting great comments and discussion off line, but it's great to get them online so other people can read them as well. You are so right. I had one friend who was questioning some poetry I wrote. It was a little hot but that's the poem, to change it up is changing the voice and then it's not even from me anymore. That person is fading out the pic. They came into my life, showed me great things and now without a notice they have been fading out of my life fast. I was hurt at first but now I look back at the role they played and the character in my book of life and I understand.

Yes haters are amongst us, some will even try and date ya (had that happen before). I like to call them Dream Thieves according to Michael Baisden. But it just pushed me more to do what I love doing. And sometimes they aren't happy with their life and as they say...misery loves company.

Thanks again for your comment! Peace and Luv.