Atlas Performing Arts Center Holiday Fest and Market



Framed Poetry Collection

 I will be amongst many vendors as we sell creative gifts and items for the holidays this Saturday December 18 and Sunday December 19 from 2-8pm. I will sell my framed poetry line and have a variety of poems that are endearing, inspiring, spiritual, passionate and naturally creative. My frames range from $10-$40 and I sell 4x6 all the way to 16x20. Come out and support! You can shop and check out framed poetry as well on my website on the left side. Thanks again and see you this weekend!



Early Relationships for Teens/Young Adults: When Desire Leads to Danger

Hello everyone! As you know I'm an advocate for GYN cancers and women's health. Matt Phillips that is a reader of my blog offered to guest blog. He's a young professional who has found his voice in advocating for women's health. He's currently enrolled at the University of Central Florida, enjoys writing and voicing his opinion on women's health and other issues. Please show him some love.

Early Relationships for Teens/Young Adults: When Desire Leads to Danger  by Matt Phillips

Love happens quickly for teens and young adults. Suddenly that special person becomes their reason to floss at night and eat healthier. Young couples even allow drastic changes to take over their lives. They often feel pressured to take actions because of an overwhelming desire to act mature. However, it’s dangerous to let these compromises take hold because these patterns can become the norm in a relationship and hard to break. Young adults often make hasty choices to initially satisfy their partner, not knowing these actions set the tone for the rest of the relationship.


Physical intimacy is where so many young couples get themselves in trouble. Women are usually in the position to compromise the most. Often out of low self-esteem and peer pressure, young women will succumb to their partner and give in to demands they might not be comfortable without contraception or protection.

Unfortunately, not all contraceptive choices are safe for women. Sex for these couples, especially at the early stage, is often about selfish satisfaction, and men are often willing to let their partner utilize any drug possible that will facilitate this early intimacy. An emotional bond and concern for each other’s well-being is simply absent at this stage. Unfortunately, this pressure to use unsafe forms of contraception can have serious, even fatal side effects.

Sadly, sex education in this country doesn’t do enough and rarely teaches teens about responsible physical relationships. The U.S. government’s funding goes towards abstinence-focused education; the entire teen population still engaging in sex is disregarded. This abstinence education is almost useless to these teens, as it fails to address questions and concerns they might have. Proponents of this education feel that open discussion of birth control and safe sex would legitimize the physical act. Instead, they feel more comfortable not addressing statistics, like the ever-growing rise in teen sexuality.

According to this legislation, programs receiving this funding which was extended by 5 years must "teach that abstinence from sexual activity is the only certain way to avoid out-of-wedlock pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and other associated health problems," the Department of Health and Human Services explains. However, opponents to this legislation promoting evidence-based sex education are concerned that $250 million is going to state programs that haven’t shown effectiveness.

While attempting to provide teens with the safest, most useful information, it actually might prompt more negative results associated with sex than good. With the government renewing its abstinence-focused education programs this year, unbiased information for teens still choosing to be sexually active might be absent in schools. However, this lack of information about adult sexuality is best exemplified in the most vital areas of discussion such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. While pregnancy rates in this country have decreased in the last few years, the spread of sexually transmitted disease hasn’t. Many birth control methods, while relatively effective at preventing pregnancy, can falsely imply complete protection to all outcomes of casual sex, including sexually transmitted disease.

Instead of responsible institutions, companies out for profit have largely replaced sex education for teens, pandering to the sexually active through various forms of media. It appears these companies have found a solid market too, embracing that portion of the teen population turned away by federal legislation.

Oral contraceptive companies, especially, have been recognized as feeders of unreliable and dangerous information to teens and young women. Misconceptions about oral contraceptives are easily understood after examining the marketing done for these products. Despite these revelations about this drug manufacturer’s credibility, by far the worst side effect of this drug is the serious physical results it has on women. These hormone-altering pills lead to permanent side effects, like the possibility of infertility. An example of one is the growing number of complaints against oral contraceptives, exemplified by pending Yaz lawsuits, indicates that the short-term safety of such birth control options is far from guaranteed. Users of this particular product have seen serious, and sometimes fatal, side effects including heart attack, stroke, blood clots, pulmonary embolisms, and gallbladder disease. However, because schools either refuse to recognize or are anything but abstinence as a legitimate lifestyle, these facts are never discussed with teens.

With so little being done to educate teens and young people about responsible sexuality, it rests with parents and other role models to provide responsible lifestyle information. Emotional attachment, especially early in relationships, can lead to dangerous compromises with lasting results. However, the sooner we take the lead as role models and address those teens that need attention the most, the quicker we’ll see the resolution of dangerous national trends, like sexually transmitted disease infection and dangerous contraceptive use. Then we can let young people discover the beauty and joy of love in the safest way possible.

Let Freedom Rain

This is a piece I wrote on election night 2008. A client of mine has a 16x20 frame of this piece hanging up in her foyer to keep her inspired. Be blessed and let's stand behind our President!

Let Freedom Rain

History is HIS-STORY

God’s breath that created everything we see

Obama said you want to be on the right side of history

And be a leader by showing your people what you’ve built and not what you can destroy

Dr. King said he wants his children to live in a country

Where they are judged on the content of their character and not the complexion of their skin

Now is the time for change

No more time for affliction nor pain

Hatred has overcome our world

Blanketing miles of cities, states and nations

Time to take action

Grasping our heritage

And what love is left

Are we going to lead our children into a life of mass destruction?

Or step back and start the process of reconstruction

We have too many foes called

Demoralization, racism, classism

All alive and known to well

Babies are having babies

Dropping out of school

Unemployment lines wrapped around the corner

People were given pink slips and given the boot like they were somebody’s fool

What are we to do?

Take back our children

Learn a new trade

Start a new business, fulfill your dreams and not let them fade away

March with our fists raised in the air

Demonstrating to those worldwide that we do care

Revitalize our neighborhoods

Take the broken rocks and pebbles that represent what we’ve been through to rebuild

Our communities

Reestablish dignity

Everlasting fight for freedom

Let it rain…let freedom rain

Of debt collectors, bad financial decisions and savings down to zero

Let the rain wash all of that away as we reeducate ourselves to do better

Smoothing out the path for future generations

Rain pour on us to unite what was once divided

Nations in this together and not against one another

Free from those slave masters currently wanting to see us in fear

Terror

Torrential down pour as I watch the tsunami take place in my life

Instead of it doing damage

It has left my self esteem, internal being pure and whole

Freedom has rained on us

New leader, new vision in sight

I can see now…following his footsteps

As he is following those who came before him

The Martins, Malcolm’s, Medgar’s, Shirley’s, Harriets and all

Pour on me a freedom

An experience that I have never imagined

Freedom rain….on me

Written By

Serena T. Wills

Copyright Serena Wills 2008

Always There

Dedicated to Apa and Alexis Garay! Your union this weekend inspired me and as you both were doing the toast I wrote this piece at the wedding reception (gotta love technology). Alexis baby you did it...I've known you since I was in 4th grade and we were riding on the "Russ Bus" to our after school program to take swim classes! I'm so happy for you and may our friendship continue to flourish throughout the years. May God bless the both of you!


Always There
Waiting in the wings
Humming bird singing
Praises that I reconnected with you
Days, months and years have gone by
And I won't lie
As I tell you that I've had my eye
On what I saw as my future
Baby I would have had it no other way
As we lay
In unison tonight
I've been your future for years
Have even shed happy tears
Thinking of the night we would unite in holy matrimony
Being my inspiration
Memories glistening
Remembering our long past
God has granted permission for us to last

Many years to come

Prayers, answers and clarity have come along

Visions of you is that picture perfect song

Always there

To bare all that I've been through

You've been my friend since the days of school

Through ups and downs

The bad and the good

Knowing deep in my heart we would

Become one

I will always be there

Not a fair weather friend

I'm the divine partner God designed that will be with you until the end

Love as pure as a birds flight in the clear sky

Full moon hanging on a crisp night

Sunlight as it shines its rays

Looking forward to the many days

Journeys ahead

Of us lovingly dancing down a beautiful path

In unity

Congrats Apa and Alexis Garay

October 31st, 2010
Written at the Waldorf Astoria Towers

I Thought I Was Invincible

I wrote this story that was published on Tia's Way which is a website dedicated to Cervical Cancer you can check it out at http://www.tiasway.com/ I believe in the power of transparency to spread knowledge. Please read and spread the word.

I Thought I Was Invincible


By: Serena T. Wills

In the early part of 1995 I received a call from my gynecologist that changed my 20 year old free spirited mind. She said, “We received the results from your pap smear and it appears to be abnormal. We need you to come in for a biopsy.”

Scared I instantly cried, “Dr. G what’s wrong, why is it abnormal?”

Her comforting voice that reminded me that she was a mother said, “Honey we have to do a colposcopy exam which consists of me taking a closer look at your cervix with an electric microscope and the biopsy. Don’t be alarmed yet. I want to see you first thing in the morning. Please call your mother.”

When we got off the phone I sat on the stool at the kitchen counter of my apartment at Syracuse University. It was March 1995 and I suddenly felt like the weather which was dank and cold. Not knowing who I could talk too I followed her instruction and called my mother who lived in Queens, New York which was 5 hours south of me. Her calming voice said, “I want you to call me after the exam tomorrow, do they at least know what it is and what caused it?”

I shook my head as if she could see me, “No Ma they don’t, but I’ll get answers soon.”

By the beginning of the next week I was told that I had abnormal cells and luckily they were benign. They lied dormant because every year I had my annual appointment and they never appeared. The doctor described that some patients could be walking around with abnormal cells for years and not know it until it festers into a virus or worst case cervical cancer. Dr. G told me, “There is a procedure called a LEEP (Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure) which is a laser method that I could schedule with the oncologist that I work closely with to get the cells removed.”

Thinking of a laser in that area of my body wasn’t a pleasant thought but if I let the cells fester they could have turned cancerous. I agreed to the procedure and it was scheduled for beginning of April. Before we hung up the phone I asked, “How does one get this virus or infection that I have?”

Her response was in the form of a question, “Can I ask you a personal question? Have you had unprotected sex with your partner?”

I cried as I responded, “Yes.” I was sad because my mother raised me to use protection and now because I didn’t I was going through a procedure that would keep me out of school for a couple of days and change my life.

After I had the procedure I was told that I would feel cramping, bleeding and couldn’t have sex for 6-8 weeks which wasn’t a problem for me. I didn’t tell my friends what I had undergone until after we graduated a couple of years later because I was ashamed. But now I know that I should have advocated for safe sex and could have taught other students about it even though it didn’t have a name.

Fast forward to March 2001, exactly 7 years after my first episode I received an alarming call from my gynecologist. The abnormal cells returned but they were benign again. Dr. M said, “You have Human Papilloma Virus better known as HPV. There is no cure for HPV but it can be treated.”
HPV is passed on from one person to the next through sex or even skin to skin in certain areas of the body that is infected with HPV. In most cases the body fights off the virus and the infection goes away without treatment. But in some women the infection can last and turn into cervical cancer.

I asked him what my options were since I’ve had a procedure before. He said he needed to do a colposcopy and we can go from there. After my exam a week later and the biopsy I was told that it was a mild case and that I could the freezing method called Cryosurgery which was safer to the uterus. If I had undergone another laser procedure (LEEP) then I would need a stitch to strengthen my uterus if I ever wanted children.

The procedure was scheduled and my whole visit took about an hour. There was less cramping afterwards and I went to work the next day. Today I can say I have been free from abnormal pap smears for 9+ years. Every year I will be tested for HPV and it’s the most nerve racking thing to wait for the results also I will now have to get a sonogram every year because of my mother’s case of Ovarian cancer.

Unfortunately for my mother (Marguerite Wills) results didn’t turn out well. Mom always made sure I went to the doctor annually but didn’t do the same for herself. She even came to Syracuse, NY when I had my procedure in April 1995 to help me get back on my feet and care for me.

In August 2009 she admitted herself to the hospital after having trouble breathing and moving her bowels. She was fatigued and thought she might have had a case of walking pneumonia. The results on August 10th, 2009 changed hers and my family’s life forever. The doctor at Jamaica Hospital said she had two malignant tumors one on each ovary. She had stage 4 Ovarian cancer and it had spread to her stomach.

Mom was inoperable and her lungs were compromised from the cancerous fluid that expunged from the tumors and made its way throughout her body. The only solution left was either chemotherapy or nothing. Mom decided to do chemotherapy and battled the cancer for six months. She passed away on February 19th, 2010. Throughout her journey we learned about ovarian cancer and all gynecological cancers. They are noted as “silent and secret” cancers. Once discovered they can become fast moving. Her doctor told me that when I go to the doctor to get lab work done to have them do the CA-125 test which measures a level of protein that’s found on the surface of many ovarian cancer cells. CA stands for cancer antigen. A normal level is about 35 or so. When Mom’s CA-125 was taken it was 3,000. Also to date although researchers are close to finding a test to detect Ovarian cancer there still isn’t one in place. This was reported on CNN in June 2010.

Today I’m now an advocate for finding a test for Ovarian cancer and all gynecological cancers and better drugs to attack it once discovered. I plan on making trips to Capitol Hill to talk to representatives in congress and senators about what needs to be done so the number of deaths and those that are diagnosed with gyn cancers can begin to lower until one day there is a cure.

I wrote this article to alert women of what to do and how to take care of themselves. Even the healthiest person can get cancer but this is how we can catch it early.
1. Go to the doctor regularly. Schedule your annual visit with your gynecologist.
2. Ask for the HPV test to be done even if you don’t think you have it. I was walking around and had no idea that I had abnormal cells until they were found.
3. Monitor your CA-125 when your lab work is done. Ask for a print out of all the results.
4. Practice safe sex.
5. Go to the doctor with your partner and get tested together for any STD’s.
6. Eat healthy, stay away from a lot of cholesterol, fat, etc. Eat a lot of vegetables, pure juice (invest in a juicer).
7. If you have abnormal periods consult your doctor right away.
Statistics on HPV and Gynecological Cancers:
According to a CDC report in December 2009 (Center for Disease Control) between 1998-2003 in a large study that approximately 24,900 HPV Cancers occur each year. 17,300 in women and 7,600 in men. Cervical cancer is the highest occurrence for women and head and neck/oral cancer for men which is HPV related.
On American Cancer Society website in 2010 there were about 12,200 new cases of invasive cervical cancer and about 4,210 deaths. If found early enough it can be cured.
On the American Cancer Society website in 2010 there were about 21,880 new cases of ovarian cancer and 13, 850 deaths. It is ranked as #5 for cause of cancer death in women. Around 50% of the women diagnosed are over the age of 60.
Get the facts and be educated so you can live healthier, become an advocate and write your congressman about more research and tests to be done for gynecological cancers that aren’t easily detected. One day I pray for a cure for all cancers so we can all live long and prosperous lives.

Golden

I wrote this piece and shared it at Damion and Morgan's wedding in Las Vegas last weekend! It was revealed for the first time at the ceremony which was very touching. I witnessed God working through the whole garden that evening. Damion and Morgan may God bless you both on your union. I love you both.

Golden


Flirting around like two dancing butterflies that flutter wings to a soft breeze

One getting closer to the other as one flies away

Back and forth as they sway to the wind on a warm spring day

When we find each other again I begin to wonder how God knew

To place you

So intricately

Like a puzzle piece into my life

You fit just right

I asked God, "How do I know he/she is the one? I mean this can't be, this isn't the way I wanted to meet?"

He told me to take "me" out of the scene and His word is the final...

Meditating on God I heard Him say look closer and you will see...

Finally staring into your eyes I saw the energy of waves crashing on a Hawaiian beach, delicateness of a parent holding their newborn for the first time and the love of two after they renew their vows

Deeper I saw God in you

Answers to questions came as fast as a rolling storm on a hot summer night

Spirit igniting as He shined the light on us

Reminiscing on days where I thought God didn't design someone for me

Seeking near and far for you as time went on I stopped looking

And when I did...there you were

All this time we were twirling around one another

When we met your smile lit up the dark sky

Gently touching your hand I had assurance that God made me for you

Suddenly my walls were crashing

Hesitation that felt like uneasy breathing

Was no more

Realizing

You're my equal

Spiritual partner

Mentor

Lover

Conqueror

Care giver

Night in shining armor

Future mother of my child

Father to my unborn

You're my best friend

And we are in this until the end

I will say I do

To you

Knowing your love for God and how you always put Him first

Granting us permission to move onward

Living our lives like its golden

Our rings symbolize unity

Hearing the angels singing in harmony

On our special day

Baby I would have it no other way

As we lay

Our paths down to walk together

In God's direction

Searching no further

As we have a love to call our own

In faith alone

In Christ alone

Forever in unison

Written By: Serena Wills

August 28th, 2010

All rights reserved

Copyright 2010 Serena Wills

Where Did You Come From?

Where Did You Come From?


There’s a famous question that every admirable couple I know asked when that special person entered their life out of thin air. One minute they were single, the next they were talking to someone who caught their interest and before you know it they were dating. I’ve gone to two weddings this year on my way to number three on Friday and a fourth in October. All of the couples were at various stages in their lives when that special person either walked into their lives physically or in a couple of cases virtually.

One couple was “poking” each other on Facebook. Well a couple of pokes turned into a date and that lead to a relationship and then…I witnessed them walking down the aisle exchanging vows! They were friends for years and there was a lot of back and forth but it eventually lead to tears of joy letting me know that you never know when it will be time to make that connection and with whom.

Another couple met on an infamous website that I thought wasn’t around anymore…yes you guessed it, Black Planet. Tashawn* was very hesitant as she didn’t believe in virtual romance either. But after casual talk back and forth they decided to go on “the date.” Her side of the story was she didn’t know if she liked him and was nervous but when she met him physically she still had the guards up. After date #2 she warmed up to Tony* and now they are husband and wife. After a series of pre-marital counseling at my church home in Dallas, Texas at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship the last session consisted of them exchanging their vows to one another before their family and God.

Another couple truly inspired me by their story when Loretta* met her husband Gordan* at a night club in NYC. She pulled her girls to the side and said, “He’s too cute, where did he come from?” After having their daughter life split their paths in half and she left NYC to go home to Dallas, TX. After his fight with internal demons called “gambling” he cleaned himself up and did what any great man would do…he went after his family and reclaimed his life with them and relationship with God.

As I spoke with each couple I’m amazed at how life can make you turn a corner, be somewhere you had no intention on being, or even joining a social network to catch up with old friends but instead you caught a man or woman. All of their questions were the same after a couple of dates and conversations, “Where did you come from?”

Asia* and Rob* grew up together and their families know each other. After years of going their own ways they “ran” into each other again. She had gone through two trying relationships and her quote to me was that he was a breath of fresh air. She was happy to have her “friend” back in her life. Well little did she know that he wasn’t going anywhere this go round and now they will tie the knot in October. Every time I see her she’s glowing with the love that has been bestowed on her.

Last couple that is heading down the aisle next year worked together. Marie* said she paid him no mind for a year as they were co-workers even though they were both single. He was throwing the signs at her, compliments, you name it he did it and she intercepted every pass. After a while she began to see what he was about through their friendship and she decided to finally go on a date. Dates turned into a blissful relationship to a beautiful daughter to a proposal on a stage at a play in NYC.

I was compelled to write this piece to inspire those who may be looking or are in a bad relationship. How do you know what your blessing is if you keep blocking it? I want to tell you to put the binoculars down and not look so hard. He/she is coming. From where???? I can’t tell you. Sometimes when you look too hard you find the wrong thing. It’s not in your time…it’s in His time. Ask yourself am I blocking my blessing, sending out bad vibes, negative energy, trying to rush him/her into my life, dating the wrong person? Ask those hard questions and begin to look within and one day you’ll be writing a blog asking yourself, “Where Did You Come From?” And it will be all good! Peace.

Written By: Serena Wills

*Names were changed for privacy.
 
*Picture is of Damion and Morgan Davis (love is in the air people).

God's Matrimony

In July I witnessed another beautiful couple unite as Desmond and Riki Atkins joined hands in holy matrimony. I was invited along with my friend Will Richey to do a collaboration poem at the reception. This is my part of the poem and when I get Will's half I will post at that time. Desmond and Riki...again congratulations! Both of you inspire me. Denim has two amazing and blessed parents!

God’s Matrimony

God whispered to us
And in His words we trust
Him to lead our paths to become one
Listening to His every direction from within
And out
As we let go of our fears to love each other again
First time we tried to direct the plan
Not knowing that no matter what we did we are just man
God has the final say
As He laid
Down our roads, cobble stone by cobble stone
Every grain of dirt as He paved our way
Walking side by side through this journey
Under His supervision
We steadily listened
Moving forward with God's intervention
Having every intention
On being together for the rest of our lives
Vows will be kept unbroken
Sometimes our love will even be unspoken
Emotions jetting out like a racing stream
Before it embraces the ocean
Spirits flooded with sincere passion
Loving each other constantly
Living out our destiny
Knowing that we are each other’s divine molds
Intricately designed by You
May the love we have
Branch out like trees
From the roots to the leaves
Extending to our little one Denim
So she can see
Her parents loving each other…spiritually
Complimenting each other eternally
Hands intertwined
Praying in unity
On bended knees
As we begin our lives
In God’s Matrimony...

Copyright 2010 by Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Creative Storm

New piece I wrote while in Dallas, TX a few weeks ago. Enjoy.

Creative Storm

Perfection at its best
Lyricism taken to the test
Writing nonstop without rest
Eyes glued to the screen
Not getting enough of this good stuff
That's infused in my DNA
Creative storms brewing through my bones, into my finger tips
As my lips bless a mic
Words are coming to me in my dreams
As it seems
The storm won't stop
Even when I put the pen down
Astounded
Words, lyrics, poems and characters are still chattering
In my brain as I have to write more
Raining on the keys with avengence
Characters developing into their own person
Winds of my lyrics on the mic knocking down the coldest
Touching hearts in the right places
With my written creative storm
Spreading
City to city
State to state
Next stop...country to country
Once the storm leaves
Everything is cleansed
People left wondering when it will come again
Wanting a taste of the rain
Of creativity
To be poured down on them once more

Written July 7, 2010

Shuck n Jive Restaurant, Dallas, TX

Matt Barron playing tunes

Copyright Serena Wills 2010

All Right Reserved

Crooning

This poem is what I envision anyone who is in love with a musician from a female perspective(no I'm not in love...yet). But one never knows what the future holds. Enjoy!

Crooning

I’m in love with a musician
No need to front any longer as he always captures my attention
If he wanted me he could have me in any sort of position
Listen
Can’t go on living in denial
A glimpse of his smile attracts me
When he gets on that mic and serenades me
Got down on one bending knee asking me to dig him back
I froze and when my mouth moved nothing came out and I couldn’t say jack
Crooning
Loving me from a far on the stage
Or up close and personal after a set
Assuming he did this to all the girls
Learning that in fact he only croons for thee
Mind is twirling 50 miles per minute
He’s different, magical and sexy
Singing lyrics that make even the coldest person feel a certain way
Warming my body inside and out
Inhaling…exhaling deeply…when he winks in my direction
Stressing on what to wear and even down to how I style my hair
Ladies…this crooner can sing any type of song
R and B, Reggae, Rock, Slow Tunes
Blues, Blue Grass, Latin and will even reach back and sing some Marvin Gaye
Sexual healing he’ll say to me knowing I’ve been burned before
Spirituality is out of this world
Reaching down in parts of me that were left untapped from the bums prior
Swaying to his tunes as I make my way to the front of the room
Nothing standing between us
Ladies this is way more than lust
Extending his hand out and I follow instruction
Pulling me close as he continues to sing
While dancing with me
Making the other ladies in the audience scream
Effect on me is like a hurricane
Blown away by his eyes, charm, touch, voice and musical talents
Crooning…singing love tunes for thousands
In fact even millions when he blows up
Hoping he won’t forget about our private memories
Creating musical love making from the last poem
Trapped in an artist paradise
With him…lucky girl I am
Listen to me…no more denial
Giving him my undivided attention
Writing poetry and lyrics for him
Facing the truth and simple fact that I’m in love with a musician

Copyright 2010 Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Talking Drums

Last Thursday was my Mom's birthday and in African dance class through Coyaba Dance Theater in DC they dedicated the class in her memory and at the end I sat in front of the room as the entire class encircled me and danced for me and Mom.

It was so beautiful as the drums grew louder more and more of my sistas and brother's did solo's. We celebrated her life and my teacher's daughter's birthday as well. Her daughter cried and said she felt the love between Mom and I and even her presence in the room that day. From the mouths of babes.

In honor of Dance Africa kicking off this weekend in Brooklyn, NY I dedicate this poem to the dancers, drummers, musicians, artists, teachers, costume designers...everyone that embraces the African culture and traditions.

Talking Drums

Hands hitting the djembe drum
Arms flay in the air up and down
Like a bird flaps its wings
Talking drums shaking the stress and tension off of me
Conga drums shouting my name
Dun Dun drums playing a game
In my soul as it smiles
Dancing on my feet
Jumping in mid air
Loving me
Head bobbing up and down
Dipping down to the ground as if I’m picking food for the harvest
Ancestors surrounding me
Telling me I’ve won
And done my bid of being sick, depressed, heartbroken, stressed and hurt
Dance child
The drums are now shouting old sayings,
“If you can talk you can sing, if you can walk then you can dance”
Skipping around in a circle feeling too damn good
Everything I went through, all my battles, stir crazy thoughts, dreadful relationships, family lost
Now I can celebrate
Times that were once my most down points
Deep as the ocean floor
Built the bridge for me
Piece by piece
Wooden plank by plank
So I could once again dance
Laugh
Grin
Smile
Knees to the ground as I give praise to the talking drums
Hands to my chest
Swaying them out again to the drums
Back and forth the drums talk louder to me
Telling me to praise Him because I made it
I regained momentum and speed
Spirit awakened
Dreams lived
Glass that was stained is clear
Mind is no longer in mental bondage
Tears have faded to the back
Hurt is let go
Turning in circles with my arms wide open
Feet moving a mile a minute
African dancing
Movements passed onto me from generation to generation
Exhaling and inhaling
Sweat pouring off my body
Exalted praise I give thee
Talk to me…
Beat those drums…
Shout and tell me to dance more…
Talking drums playing the beats and rhythms
Until I’m sore
Sankofa bird come down on me
Grant me with wisdom
Learning lessons from my past to help build my future
You gave me back my mother
My life
My future
My mind
Rebuilt my foundation from the ground up
The foundation that I now dance on
Drums are a talking…
Play those bata drums
Djembe, my friend conga, bang on the cowbell
Let me dance some more
Until I can’t dance no more

Written By: Serena Wills

February 8th, 2010

Copyright Serena Wills 2010

Sound of Your Voice

Mom's birthday is Thursday, May 20th and on the cold and rainy days especially I miss talking to her. We would talk daily about everything to nothing. Dedicated to those who are missing their loved ones and conversations that can never be replaced.

Sound of Your Voice

The sound of your voice
Calmed me in the midst of a storm
Be soothing during a cry when I just couldn't take it anymore
Loving sense of always knowing when I needed an, "I love you and that's all I called for."
Courageous in tone when I needed to get up...stand up after taking a hard fall
You always knew what to say
How to say it
When to say it
Timing was always appropriate
Sick sense would kick in
Not understanding how you always knew
Ears could hear miles away when I lied because I didn't want to worry you
Caught in a lie again when you would say, "You're not alright...talk to me."
Letting go as either the rage from being done wrong to a simple missing you from living so far
Somehow...some way...you always knew when I had to hear your voice
I long for our daily calls, laughs, tears shed and even silence between us on the phone
Pouring out tears for you as I can't have those days any more
Voice sang to my spirit every single day
Although I miss those days I'm so blessed to have had them in the first place
Today I heard the wind chimes clang as the breeze blew through my window
I know it’s you as you stopped by
To say, "I came by to say I love you."
Yet I can't see you, but I do feel you
And hear your gentle whispers as I lift my hands high to praise Him for the love we shared
Blowing kisses to heaven saying, "Mama...I love you too."
Sound of your sweet voice was music to my spirit and soul
Calling me right in the nick of time...

Written By: Serena Wills
May 16th, 2010

Copyright Serena Wills 2010

Painting By Soukaa, "Queen of Sorrow"

Southern Days with Old Friends

Back in March I attended a beautiful wedding. This one will always remain close to my heart as I saw two good friends from college unite as one. It came shortly after Mom passed away and at a time when I thought I would never smile again...I ended up rejoicing. Thanking God for their "I Do's" and knowing that love can strike at any time.

It was also a grand time with old friends as we all chatted about back in the days and how we are living life now...enjoy my poem, be blessed and love one another.



Southern Days with Old Friends

Cotton balls
Hanging out of the crystal blue sky
Breeze brushing across my face
Feeling spirits surrounding me
Gracing me with their presence
Smiling down like the sun shining on flowers in need of light
Blue bells dancing in the wind
Jazz music infused through the air
Of Charleston, SC
Lightening bugs flashing their bulbs in the midst of the night
Old friends laughing about college days and joy that life brings
Dancing with that crush from years ago
Southern accents that end with sweetie, honey or sugar plum...
Molasses on warm biscuits
Cheese grits and catfish warm my belly
Naps in the hammock from a full day of straight relaxing
With old friends, that can never be replaced
As we laughed and laughed and laughed about the easy days
Good times when we were all debt free
What was once serious is now petty beef
Making amends as we hit the streets
Of the deep south
Reuniting as we witness the union of two great friends as they say their vows
Funny how God works because in a time of grieving I'm rejoicing as they sashay into the reception hall
Never thought I'd smile again but how can I not grin as old friends and I dance the night away
Saying good bye the next day was bitter sweet
Back to our lives that await as some of get ready to hit the grind in the mean streets
Pure memories of a weekend with old friends, uniting in the south
Tickle my humor on those gloomy days
Remembering the tears of joy from the bride remind me of the old saying that, "Joy comes in the morning."
Watching a brotha friend of mine tie the knot screams inspiration to me
Waiting on God to wrap up molding my future Valentine
My, my, my...how I smile reflecting on a beautiful day in sunny South Carolina
Where the worries and emotions of my world temporarily came to a stop
Chilling with old friends, made some new...unity as one
As we witnessed a union stated by God when He granted favor on the new husband and wife

Dedicated to Dr. and Mrs. Adolphus Belk, Jr.

Written on March 14th and completed on May 3rd, 2010

Copy written by Law Serena Wills 2010

Ode to Hip Hop

Dedicated to Guru, his family and all those real hip hop lovers. God bless.

Ode to Hip Hop
Hip hop
Loving da' flow
Beats jumping into my soul
From old to new school
You know how it goes
Hip hop
Founded in Africa
Traveled miles to the Boogie Down Bronx
Drums and tunes were the unspoken heard of our ancestors
Djembes to Lauren
African dance steps to break dancers
Elders telling stories to peeps rapping about pushing me to close to the edge
Jumping back like punks jump up to get a beat down
Astounded
By the decades of the continuous verbal infusion
Somewhat lost in this new generation
We once talked about something
And that turned into nuthin'
Peeps rapping about mess like gold chains, women and chrome rims
We need to get back to basics
Hip hop lives
Through the people like Guru, Mos Def, Common...Sense, Run DMC, LL and Sugar Hill
To the divas like Queen Latifah, MC Lyte and Salt and Pepa
Underground like the railroad where you will hear artists like J-Live, Asheru and Playdough
We are hip hop
Spoken word artists, b-girls, dj's and all
I breathe in trueness everyday
And not that whack ish that gets radio play
I am hip hop and it lives in me
Style of my clothes, language I speak...the culture
Next time you write that whack lyric think...is this what the ancestors would have said?
Teach the babies something to live for
Instead of those non substance lyrics you spit
Educate through the power of rhymes
Communicate through your dance movements
Recreate a system by reaching out to our kids and generations that will soon come
Called hip hop
Hip hop
Hip hop
Hip...hop

Written: March 11th, 2010 at 9:25pm

Station 9 in DC...artist on the mic "Asheru"

Mood...iiiight

Silent Tears

I never posted this poem on my blog. Mom reassured me that I was going to be okay even though I silently cried at her bedside. There are nights and days where the tears just flow and you know what...I let them because it's cleansing my soul. Dedicated to those who have silent tears and have been to the place I've been. The painting is by my friend Soukaa, an artist out of Dallas, TX.

Silent tears
Streak my face
Creating a puddle of water in my lap
Deep breaths as I let out shrieks of pain
Grieving untamed
Falling to my knees
Screaming please
Please...
Come back to me
Alas in the stillness of the night
Begging and pleading
Reasoning with God
I tried to tell Him
"We had plans my man and now my mother has been taken away from me."
Shoulders hunched over
Arms wrapped around my stomach
Releasing my mourning and aches that are trapped within
Mourning over Mama
Thought she would make it
Instead God turned the clock forward
Minutes passed by and moments are unclear
Surreal that she's gone
Phone silent
No more ringing in the middle of the night
Ever since my mother walked into the light
Thinking back to the day
When she smiled at me to say
"I love you and you'll be okay"
Not comprehending
Riddles she made
But as I pieced everything together I finally was aware
She was preparing me
Always a mother even after the last breath
Worried about my family
Reassuring her we'll keep each other lifted as God covers us like a blanket on a cold winter day
Fast forward to now
Visions of your smile
Dancing in heavens clouds
Brings joy to my saddened heart
Comforted by your spiritual presence that surrounds me day in and day out
Even the times when I shout
"Mama where are you!"
I'm reminded as I feel a gentle touch that rubs my back
And a whisper...I'm right here baby girl
Mama you will always be with me
And I will be with you too
My sorrow is raw
Emotions crashing like waves against a mountains wall
Rescue me from this grief
Send me a sign
That you're thinking of me too
Figuring out my next steps and what God has ordered for me to do
Except the only thing missing physically is you
Gazing into the dark night
Blurred vision from tears
Praying to God to heal my family and me too
Sending a message to you
Through prayers and thoughts
Mom I love you
Honored that God chose me to be birthed through you
One courageous, bold, voicetrous and loving woman
Your legacy will be kept alive and promises I made to you will be kept
Loving you...always...dear mama
Silent tears fall as I grieve

Ase to you...

Copyright Serena Wills 2010

Pain

As I read the story of Paul and how he had a thorn in his side and was always in pain it reminded me of the aches I feel at times in my heart about Mom being gone. I wrote this a couple of weeks ago on a rainy afternoon. Be blessed and know that we all go through pain, but pray as I am that God will heal it in His time. He will shower down on me and my family as Earnest Pugh sings in his song. Peace.

Pain

Healing relieves me of pain
But makes more room for more
Empty space begins to fill with feelings of breathing easy, less crying and hopes of nothing else trying
Happening to me
It seems as though when the pain of a loved ones death, broken relationship, hateful job has subsided
The devil gives you more
Nights are suddenly occupied again with misty eyes, palpitating heart and no rest
Managing the loss of my sister I thought would never come
2.5 years later now my mother is gone
Like an open wound that never healed right
Reopened as it hurts like never before
I never thought I would be a motherless child physically
So soon
Down one sister, father, papa and now mama
God I don't know how much more I can take
Please forsake me if I've ever done anything to you to make me go through this
I thought it was the devil as I felt the pain in my side like the story of Paul
Not understanding why you took my Iya so soon
Reliving everything I've done wrong to see why I'm being punished
I'm not a bad person
Pastor told me the thorn you feel is keeping you humble, the greater the pain the bigger your anointing that God will bless you
Shaking my head as I steadily wipe the constant stream of tears from my face
Why me God...why us
Family going nuts because now Mom has left us
Praying for more healing, as the minutes, hours, days and now weeks go by
Dreaming about Mom at night hoping when I wake up its all a lie
That she will call and say, "Baby I'm home."
Alas when I pick up the phone I hear the message that the phone is now disconnected
God give me understanding, knowing that in the end this will all make sense
For now I have to come to grips
With Mama's death
Healing relieves pain
Sometimes it makes room for more
Standing on my faith
Asking God for strength
Everlasting guidance since He gave me my own personal guardian angel
Leaning into your spiritual arms Mama
Missing you
Praying that my healing comes and pain will be subdued
Hoping in time it will be easier to manage
The pain of losing you...

Written By: Serena Wills

March.23.10

Rainy day

Mom is Smiling and Dancing in the Heavens

This is what I wrote for my mother's funeral. I have to share with the world the great woman she was physically and now that she is in the heavens she's on a higher plain and is smiling and dancing. The picture of her is from the 70's at a show. She was in shape and this was a pic taken after she had me! Amazing!

Life With Marguerite "Sauti" Wills

Marguerite Teresa Ann Wills was born May 20th, 1949 in Jamaica, NY.
Born to the late Mr. Lawrence Wills Sr. and Mrs. Bernice Wills they were
more than tickled to receive such a blessing from God. She was a loving
sister as she was the oldest of five children. Throughout her childhood she
stayed active through dance where she took up ballet, tap and jazz at
Bernice Johnson Dance School. She also took up modeling as she enjoyed
being in numerous shows.

After she graduated from St. Michael High School in Brooklyn, NY in
1967 a shift occurred. She said between the African drums that called her
down the hall after she took ballet and the liberation movement of our
people began to transform her. Working at Green Lantern she helped out
with free lunch programs and assisted organizations such as the Black
Panther’s to help teach our children about equality and to fight for the Civil
Rights Movement. After cutting out the perm she received the name
“Sauti” which means “Voice” in Swahili as she always spoke the
knowledge of elders and advocated for what was right.

She began to dance and do lighting through the “International Afrikan
American Ballet” and they performed in the first “Dance Africa” in the
1970’s both she and the nonprofit dance troupe performed or what we call,
“Tearing up the stage” all over the state and they even ventured out to
places such as Canada. Now 30+ years later Dance Africa is known all
over the world and “Sauti” can smile down and say, “I was in the first
show.”

One day she danced and began to feel a bit tired only to discover she was
pregnant. She danced until it was time to give birth to Serena Theresa Wills
in 1975. She became a homemaker and put all her efforts into taking care
of her daughter and still was active in the ballet.

Her life then took on another shift as God called her to work with children
in need. Her sister Doretha Washington was diagnosed with AIDS in 1983
but delivered a beautiful daughter named Ayana. Marguerite stepped up to
the plate and said, “I’ll take her home.”

The doctors said Ayana wouldn’t see the age of 1. Because of Marguerite’s
constant love, attention to all of her medical conditions such as severe brain
damage, scoliosis, under developed organs Ayana didn’t pass away until 24 in
2007.

Marguerite instilled her beliefs into her daughter Serena and as she
volunteered through her high school at Terrance Cardinal Cooke in
Harlem. There Serena met Christina. Born in 1989 to a crack addicted
mother she was brought to the facility where they thought she would die or
be severely brain damaged because of the drugs in her mother’s system.
After a few visits Marguerite couldn’t bear to leave her in the facility and
adopted her in 1993. Christina was diagnosed as Autistic and is now 20 years old
and is “Nana’s Little Helper.”

She was an advocate for children that had special needs and always
envisioned opening up a group home for more children. She tried to get a
program but alas the state made major cuts. She continued to care for her
children and stayed fighting for their rights. Anyone could tell you that
Marguerite’s African name “Sauti” was appropriately given to her as she
never backed down and in the end she won.

The last turn of her path was when she was diagnosed on August 10th,
2009 with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer that had spread to her stomach. Her
determination to live went on for months. Not understanding why at first;
she knew at the end as she smiles down on us. Her last task on earth was to
reunite her family and make it known that tomorrow isn’t promised. She
cracked jokes, was always friendly with the nurses and doctors,
understood every medical term they gave her and never complained. Her
journey ended on Friday, February 19th, 2010 at the age of 60 years old.

There isn’t enough room on the page to describe her as she ended up
touching the lives of many people. She always told her daughter Serena,
“No matter what you do in life, I’ll always be proud of you as long as you are happy and apply yourself.”

Marguerite “Sauti” Wills is survived by her mother Bernice Wills, two
siblings Hilda Douglas, Lawrence “Larry” Wills, Jr., two children Serena
T. Wills and Christina S. Wills, brother in law Kirk Douglas and sister in
law Annette Wills, three nephews Christopher Douglas, Tyler Wills and
Bryce Wills and a host of family and friends. Marguerite has a special
place in heaven and is on the hilltop looking down at us smiling saying, “I
made it home.”

Divine Rebirth

This poem is a tribute to my mother, the late Marguerite "Sauti" Wills. She passed away on February 19, 2010 to Ovarian Cancer. May she rest in heavenly peace as her work here is done and God called her home. I wrote it as if I was in her shoes. Enjoy and be blessed.

Divine Rebirth

Earth Stood Still
Heavens Gates Opened
Cancer finally cured
Scared at first of the unknown
What lie ahead
Fighting for breath in my body
Saying good bye
Closed eyes once that lead to visions of more drugs, chemo, hateful needles and pain
Ability to walk was non existent
But this time
Oh this time
When I closed my eyes
I woke up to streets of gold, hugging my Daddy and my little girl as they greeted me
Feeling my full face, color restored, and my tight dancer calves have returned
I'm whole
Free
Smiled as I felt my beautiful natural hair
Daddy and Ayana led me to a shining light
Bright as it gleamed into what was once a dark sky
Huge arms were extended
Embracing me, rubbing my head as I hugged the Lord
He said, "Sauti...job well done. You carried enough crosses in your life time and now its time for you to rest."
Staring into the eyes of the great one I asked, "what about my loved ones, those left behind? How will they do?"
He raised his arms and clouds above Him displayed a picture perfect view
I saw my loved ones as they grieved over me
Tears of those who cared for me day in and day out
I reached out and then I realized my mother saw me, daughters were startled and siblings looking around
God said, "They felt your touch, talk to them and tell them grief will be brief and your mourning one day will be replaced with healing."
Whispering the tears of my mother was suddenly replaced with her genuine smile
Family now laughing about the good times that were had
Gates now opened and God said, "Rest for there is some work to do...time to move road blocks, barriers, and clear storms."
Rearrange their lives so they can live comfortably
Bless the doctors and nurses that cared for you
All those you touched for its their turn to be blessed in return
I smiled and when I went to walk away the huge arm extended to me again
"I ask you though to do one last favor for me? Go down the road into the house on the hilltop and be happy with what you see."
Guardian angels led me to the house and there I saw old relatives, and friends
Drums started beating, awakening my spirit as I danced like I was back with International
Celebrating my rebirth of eternal life
All day I praised Him and then in the corner I saw babies cooing and playing
I knelt down to play with two and saw me in them
Confused I asked Ayana, "Who's children are they?"
She smiled and said, "Meet your grands, you must spend time with them and prepare them for that magical journey"
I picked up my babies and was led into a majestic room in the back accented with silver and gold.
A huge bed and a view of the valley
Papa tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Marguerite, kick your feet up, rest up and welcome home."
It felt good to lay down after 20+ years, no worries for I will take care of my family from afar, playing with my cooing grands
Feet kicked up, being fed by ancestors past
I'm at peace, no more suffering, yelling ouch when you roll me, no more memory lapse due to chemotherapy
Don't mourn for I live on a hilltop, my special place picked out by God
Resting...finally...eternally

Written By: Serena Wills

Mommy, its time for you to rest, I love you and will miss you very much. Ase Iya Sauti, Ase to the ancestors that greeted you in the heavens, Ase, Ase, Ase

Epiphany or Musical Lovemaking...

This unique piece has two titles, I love both so I'll keep em. I was inspired to write this piece on one of the last evenings I got together with my ArtLoveMagic family last year in June. Dedicated to all of my true musicians...keep creating.

Epiphany...Musical Lovemaking

Lovemaking to my soul
Reaching down into places
Where no one should go
But somehow you’re there with the power
Of your voice singing blues and your guitar
Strumming the chords of my creative muse
Musical depth of the oceans floor
Longing for a moment with you
Visualization of musically twisted thoughts
Poetry with your grooves
Rhythm and blues
Reggae to even country tunes
Tapping into me
Like the army uses morse code
Asking myself, “How do you know what to touch, press, feel and even stroke…creatively.”
Longtime coming since I let go into this abyss of my natural mystic
Tucked away never wanting to get hurt
Guarded for the fear
Of the past troubles
One man tried to rape my artistry, creativity and mentality
He didn’t believe in the power of music
Words bouncing off of the walls
Bass trembling to the bottom of my toes
To the tips of my eyelashes
Discovery once again through you of my musical incline
An epiphany wondering what was missing from my life
Uniquely designed as I come alive again
Loving you
Digging you
Plugging away at those guitar strings
Wanting you as you sing to me through your soft lips
Rejuvenation of my mind, body and spirit
Creative restoration
God placed this gift in you
Bless others with your tunes
Swaying to the music…nothing but the music
Lovingly through you

Written By:

Serena Wills

Started on June 26, 2009 and completed December 2009

The Revolution of Me...

Celebrating thirty-five years of life and as I look back, I'm so thankful for all the good, bad and even ugly. I noticed this weekend that although my mother is sick with cancer, she is getting stronger and has brought my family together in ways that I could never imagine. We aren't a perfect family but I've prayed for many years that we can rid the grudges, speak to one another more often and connect to each other on if not most then all levels.

Even I have been guilty of holding onto the grudges of loved ones in my family and not letting go. I thanked my mother on my birthday which was on January 16th for being strong and for bringing our family together as we work in unison in regards to her health. We can now talk about how each of us are doing, the kids, finances, trials and struggles and help each other get through. We still have work to do but this is a beautiful start thus far.

During my time of reflection on Saturday I looked over at my beautiful cousin Gianina from my fathers side and thanked him. Even though he could never figure out how to be a father to me on this physical plain called earth, never acknowledged me, he has done something that I never thought would happen. He lead me to the "Hayes" side of my family where I had two sisters and a brother waiting for me. An array of cousins, an Uncle that embraces me and a host of other people. Although my brother isn't in the fold yet I know in time that he will find us.

How could I hold onto a grudge with a person that is now deceased? How could anyone? It sounds easy but a lot of people as myself and my cousin were talking about over the weekend still can't let go of hurt feelings, emotions or grudges with someone who is alive let alone dead. The day I heard my father passed away almost ten years ago most of those ill feelings and grudges were dropped. Over time all of them vanished. He paid the ultimate price and although I sometimes hurt inside that I will never get a chance to meet him on this side of my life, I know that I will see him when it's my time to go.

Some may say that this piece should be called "Evolution" but in fact it's a "Revolution." Meaning that a dramatic change has happened to me over time and it's good change. In fact it's great. Not enough people sit down and reflect on the major and drastic changes. The shifts that have taken place to put them into the position that they are in now.

Sitting around with a few of my girlfriends on Saturday night made me look back at those that aren't in my circle any more and I'm not in their line of friends. We naturally moved on or weren't on each other's level. Some have grown distant and our friendship is fine like that. Many times they were in my life for a reason...a season...a mere chapter. Some come in and out. But the older I get the more I notice my circle is full of beautiful, spiritual and intelligent women. Also full of positive and inspiring men that have proven that all men aren't cut from the same piece of cloth. They are designed in God's light and are here to prove that there are still real gentlemen walking this earth.

Lastly I reflected on the wonderful children that are in my life. Although I haven't birthed any (yet) they are something else. My nephew who is all of seven spoke to me on the phone Sunday morning and I still remember the day that he fell asleep in my arms when we were at the beach when he was only one year old. He was so peaceful as we were in the ocean and all of a sudden I heard his heavy breathing in my ear. But something else happened when I spoke with him. I suddenly yearned for the day that I'm blessed to meet the king in my life so I can have one or even two children. I'm now in my mid thirties and my clock for some reason rang a little loud over the weekend (the biological clock). But I know when that day comes (both me meeting the man of my dreams and having a child) that it will be another shift...revolution (change) to discuss.

For now I'm thankful for all that I have, the dreams that will come true this year and all that God has blessed me with. Every time I felt down or didn't think I accomplished a task or let someone down (even myself). He saw the best in me. He made me change and turn in directions that I wouldn't have imagined and as my pastor says in church...the best is yet to come.

Be easy and at peace.