Saturday, October 31, 2009


I wrote this piece in church on Wednesday night when I thought about the struggles and battles my Mom is having with ovarian cancer. This is dedicated to all those who have either been infected, affected or impacted by cancer. Mom you will make it! Peace be with you...


Listening to the sounds of the rain outside my window
Drip, splash, drip, splash
Splashing on the leaves as the water pours out of the sky
Voice becoming stronger with the wind picking up
Tree branches scratching my windows
On bending knees praying for the healing rejuvenation and restoration for Mama
Struck with cancer two months ago
Hurricane like winds whipping devastation to her physical being
Bleakness blinds my vision
Grim nightmares brewed with the thoughts of you possibly leaving me here on earth alone
Lights flickered
Storm becoming fierce outside
Similar to the one my Mama is enduring
Memories of walking hand in hand with you one year prior
Ignorant to the fact that we're not invincible
Although God's children
We're human acceptable to diseases, hurt, pain and anguish
Throat closing as my streaks of tears were accompanied by screams
Confessing with my mouth all the things I did
Not comprehending
Mom's diagnosis
She's my rock, the living angel in my life
Overnight I became Mama's wall holding her up
Who knew I'd be strong enough to bear so much on my spirit, soul and mental being
Blurred eyes, the wet pillow and sore throat signs that I mourned the death of the cancer
Believing faithfully that as the cancer dies Mom's body is being reconstructed
Optimism growing from the pain, believing that God kissed the cancer goodbye
Matter of time before she is healed
In your darkest moments is when God will begin to abundantly bless you
Stretched body across the floor
Praying for a total breakthrough
Rain falling
Slowly decreasing
Water tumbling off the leaves
Cancer cells dying
Disease stricken storm
Dying...leaving the body
Renewed, healed

May Peace Be With You,


Monday, October 19, 2009

Turning in My Player's Hat

I know this piece is talking to either somebody or a few people...

Turning in My Players Hat!

When my friend Ethan (named changed to not put him out there) told me that he’s tired of all this dating and wants to settle down I almost passed out. He’s truly attractive and I’ve seen him grow over the course of our 20+ year of friendship. He loved women, all kinds and they would flock to him. I mean who wouldn’t. He’s smart, witty and charming. Great job, has his head on right and is learning from his mistakes. But he just wasn’t ready to settle down. As we sat on the phone he laid out his master plan to me. I thought to myself, “My God we’re grownups.” We want to have families, see each other blow up and live our dreams. I was still in shock that my brother is turning in the players’ hat for a wife. He’s been through a lot in his life. When he lost his Grandpa shortly after I lost mine I felt his pain. His sound board was gone. All of the wisdom of listening to an elder man was silenced.

He never wanted his crew to see his pain but we knew he was hurting when he dropped off the face of the earth for a year. My Papa has been gone for over 8 years now and I still miss him. I wish I had the opportunity to ask him questions (especially in the dating department). But I do through prayer but there is nothing like hearing his voice.

Anyway a few of my male friends are turning in those player hats (heck even some girlfriends of mine). They are tired of this crazy dating game, settling down for the one that brings them joy and sometimes throwing in the cards cost a price. Some friends won’t and don’t want to understand. They are steadily tripping because they feel as if you are leaving them out in the cold. You don’t hang out in the clubs as much or at all, you prefer a lounge with a nice drink and conversation, your shirts aren’t as fitting but you still look good, etc. Men don’t deal with this as much (at least I haven’t seen the cattiness).

But even for dudes they get the locked down jokes. Okay so what you’d rather hang out with the wife instead of drinking brews with your friends. You start hanging out with men who are married like you and are done with clubbing and trying to get numbers at the end of the night. Sometimes friendships will come to an end. Paths won’t connect because a party doesn’t want to let you go and if you love that man or woman then you have two choices. Tell them I’m sorry but I’d rather go club hopping and hang out with my peeps or make your friends understand that this is a new chapter in your life. Either deal with it or don’t.

I’m personally happy for a few of my friends that are all in love, making strides to walk down the aisle sooner than later because when I see them with their partner I see nothing but love. We still hang out with each other and even go out. But I’ve grown as a person too; I don’t like the loud clubs as much. I like to chill over the weekend. Go listen to a live band, open mic, etc. I even love going over my friends houses that are married and have kids (I swear they throw the best bar b ques and get togethers). Secretly they are an inspiration to me as I see a whole family get down and have fun but still want to involve their friends in their life.
Turning in your players’ hat, cards, black books, and everything is fine. It’s a signal that you are growing up and want to take life to the next stage and this time with someone who you honestly love with all your heart.

As one of the pastors used to say in church back in Dallas. “All you single people who have friends getting married don’t hate…motivate!” Everyone would crack up but he had a good point. Look to them as a source of preparing for your future and if you are a good friend then let them go and be with their loved one and not cause any drama. Appreciate that your player friend has handed in his/her badge and said…I’m done.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Ancestors Voice

Peace and love peeps. I'm back, I've been out of commission for a while but wanted to spread some wisdom today. Be blessed.

My face may look young
But my tongue
Speaks knowledge like the elders
As I stood on their shoulders
Walking in their footprints
As an elder came from behind me and told me…
Shut your mouth with all that talking and just listen
Shush chile...and listen to me
As she told me stories about our forefathers, foremothers, Queens and Kings
She took her hand and reached back into time
Telling me stories of the ancestors that blessed me
She told me stories of how we were snatched away in the dead of night as they awaited their sentencing to slavery
Goree Island is the name and for specific reasoning
My people were raped, beaten and murdered
She took a finger and played with the sand as I saw visions of people crying and dying
Those are my ancestors, the ones who shoulders I stand on
Footprints I step into
The mysterious lady waved her hand and we forwarded into time
As I now saw King preaching about the mountain top and Malcolm X fighting for equality
I got up to look closer and I saw legends singing about justice like Bob Marley
All dying way before their time
They died for us
They died for us
People wake up and look into your past to build for the future
Sitting all comfortable thinking we are equal
Hmmph that is bull
We still have a ways to go…
Secret segregation in our schools, no books and no tools to teach our children
The future
I am no damn fool
Racial profiling as I am not smiling when the cops pull me over for doing five over the speed…limit
Our ancestors and those before us fought for us…but wake up people because we have a ways to go
I stared into the eyes of my new found friend, tears streamed down her face
She said, “Honey chile I am happy but I am so sad. Our people are so complacent, so aggravated, and some not making any attempts to make a change. Will you help lead our people into the valley? Help them make a difference in their life and the future?”
I promised to her I will do all I can do to lead the people
Making a difference in my community
Stop being comfortable and make some moves
Unplug your ears and open your eyes and see what is on the horizon
Just wake up and listen…