Monday, November 1, 2010

Always There

Dedicated to Apa and Alexis Garay! Your union this weekend inspired me and as you both were doing the toast I wrote this piece at the wedding reception (gotta love technology). Alexis baby you did it...I've known you since I was in 4th grade and we were riding on the "Russ Bus" to our after school program to take swim classes! I'm so happy for you and may our friendship continue to flourish throughout the years. May God bless the both of you!


Always There
Waiting in the wings
Humming bird singing
Praises that I reconnected with you
Days, months and years have gone by
And I won't lie
As I tell you that I've had my eye
On what I saw as my future
Baby I would have had it no other way
As we lay
In unison tonight
I've been your future for years
Have even shed happy tears
Thinking of the night we would unite in holy matrimony
Being my inspiration
Memories glistening
Remembering our long past
God has granted permission for us to last
Many years to come
Prayers, answers and clarity have come along
Visions of you is that picture perfect song
Always there
To bare all that I've been through
You've been my friend since the days of school
Through ups and downs
The bad and the good
Knowing deep in my heart we would
Become one
I will always be there
Not a fair weather friend
I'm the divine partner God designed that will be with you until the end
Love as pure as a birds flight in the clear sky
Full moon hanging on a crisp night
Sunlight as it shines its rays
Looking forward to the many days
Journeys ahead
Of us lovingly dancing down a beautiful path
In unity

Congrats Apa and Alexis Garay

October 31st, 2010
Written at the Waldorf Astoria Towers

Monday, October 25, 2010

I Thought I Was Invincible

I wrote this story that was published on Tia's Way which is a website dedicated to Cervical Cancer you can check it out at http://www.tiasway.com/ I believe in the power of transparency to spread knowledge. Please read and spread the word.

I Thought I Was Invincible


By: Serena T. Wills

In the early part of 1995 I received a call from my gynecologist that changed my 20 year old free spirited mind. She said, “We received the results from your pap smear and it appears to be abnormal. We need you to come in for a biopsy.”

Scared I instantly cried, “Dr. G what’s wrong, why is it abnormal?”

Her comforting voice that reminded me that she was a mother said, “Honey we have to do a colposcopy exam which consists of me taking a closer look at your cervix with an electric microscope and the biopsy. Don’t be alarmed yet. I want to see you first thing in the morning. Please call your mother.”

When we got off the phone I sat on the stool at the kitchen counter of my apartment at Syracuse University. It was March 1995 and I suddenly felt like the weather which was dank and cold. Not knowing who I could talk too I followed her instruction and called my mother who lived in Queens, New York which was 5 hours south of me. Her calming voice said, “I want you to call me after the exam tomorrow, do they at least know what it is and what caused it?”

I shook my head as if she could see me, “No Ma they don’t, but I’ll get answers soon.”

By the beginning of the next week I was told that I had abnormal cells and luckily they were benign. They lied dormant because every year I had my annual appointment and they never appeared. The doctor described that some patients could be walking around with abnormal cells for years and not know it until it festers into a virus or worst case cervical cancer. Dr. G told me, “There is a procedure called a LEEP (Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure) which is a laser method that I could schedule with the oncologist that I work closely with to get the cells removed.”

Thinking of a laser in that area of my body wasn’t a pleasant thought but if I let the cells fester they could have turned cancerous. I agreed to the procedure and it was scheduled for beginning of April. Before we hung up the phone I asked, “How does one get this virus or infection that I have?”

Her response was in the form of a question, “Can I ask you a personal question? Have you had unprotected sex with your partner?”

I cried as I responded, “Yes.” I was sad because my mother raised me to use protection and now because I didn’t I was going through a procedure that would keep me out of school for a couple of days and change my life.

After I had the procedure I was told that I would feel cramping, bleeding and couldn’t have sex for 6-8 weeks which wasn’t a problem for me. I didn’t tell my friends what I had undergone until after we graduated a couple of years later because I was ashamed. But now I know that I should have advocated for safe sex and could have taught other students about it even though it didn’t have a name.

Fast forward to March 2001, exactly 7 years after my first episode I received an alarming call from my gynecologist. The abnormal cells returned but they were benign again. Dr. M said, “You have Human Papilloma Virus better known as HPV. There is no cure for HPV but it can be treated.”
HPV is passed on from one person to the next through sex or even skin to skin in certain areas of the body that is infected with HPV. In most cases the body fights off the virus and the infection goes away without treatment. But in some women the infection can last and turn into cervical cancer.

I asked him what my options were since I’ve had a procedure before. He said he needed to do a colposcopy and we can go from there. After my exam a week later and the biopsy I was told that it was a mild case and that I could the freezing method called Cryosurgery which was safer to the uterus. If I had undergone another laser procedure (LEEP) then I would need a stitch to strengthen my uterus if I ever wanted children.

The procedure was scheduled and my whole visit took about an hour. There was less cramping afterwards and I went to work the next day. Today I can say I have been free from abnormal pap smears for 9+ years. Every year I will be tested for HPV and it’s the most nerve racking thing to wait for the results also I will now have to get a sonogram every year because of my mother’s case of Ovarian cancer.

Unfortunately for my mother (Marguerite Wills) results didn’t turn out well. Mom always made sure I went to the doctor annually but didn’t do the same for herself. She even came to Syracuse, NY when I had my procedure in April 1995 to help me get back on my feet and care for me.

In August 2009 she admitted herself to the hospital after having trouble breathing and moving her bowels. She was fatigued and thought she might have had a case of walking pneumonia. The results on August 10th, 2009 changed hers and my family’s life forever. The doctor at Jamaica Hospital said she had two malignant tumors one on each ovary. She had stage 4 Ovarian cancer and it had spread to her stomach.

Mom was inoperable and her lungs were compromised from the cancerous fluid that expunged from the tumors and made its way throughout her body. The only solution left was either chemotherapy or nothing. Mom decided to do chemotherapy and battled the cancer for six months. She passed away on February 19th, 2010. Throughout her journey we learned about ovarian cancer and all gynecological cancers. They are noted as “silent and secret” cancers. Once discovered they can become fast moving. Her doctor told me that when I go to the doctor to get lab work done to have them do the CA-125 test which measures a level of protein that’s found on the surface of many ovarian cancer cells. CA stands for cancer antigen. A normal level is about 35 or so. When Mom’s CA-125 was taken it was 3,000. Also to date although researchers are close to finding a test to detect Ovarian cancer there still isn’t one in place. This was reported on CNN in June 2010.

Today I’m now an advocate for finding a test for Ovarian cancer and all gynecological cancers and better drugs to attack it once discovered. I plan on making trips to Capitol Hill to talk to representatives in congress and senators about what needs to be done so the number of deaths and those that are diagnosed with gyn cancers can begin to lower until one day there is a cure.

I wrote this article to alert women of what to do and how to take care of themselves. Even the healthiest person can get cancer but this is how we can catch it early.
1. Go to the doctor regularly. Schedule your annual visit with your gynecologist.
2. Ask for the HPV test to be done even if you don’t think you have it. I was walking around and had no idea that I had abnormal cells until they were found.
3. Monitor your CA-125 when your lab work is done. Ask for a print out of all the results.
4. Practice safe sex.
5. Go to the doctor with your partner and get tested together for any STD’s.
6. Eat healthy, stay away from a lot of cholesterol, fat, etc. Eat a lot of vegetables, pure juice (invest in a juicer).
7. If you have abnormal periods consult your doctor right away.
Statistics on HPV and Gynecological Cancers:
According to a CDC report in December 2009 (Center for Disease Control) between 1998-2003 in a large study that approximately 24,900 HPV Cancers occur each year. 17,300 in women and 7,600 in men. Cervical cancer is the highest occurrence for women and head and neck/oral cancer for men which is HPV related.
On American Cancer Society website in 2010 there were about 12,200 new cases of invasive cervical cancer and about 4,210 deaths. If found early enough it can be cured.
On the American Cancer Society website in 2010 there were about 21,880 new cases of ovarian cancer and 13, 850 deaths. It is ranked as #5 for cause of cancer death in women. Around 50% of the women diagnosed are over the age of 60.
Get the facts and be educated so you can live healthier, become an advocate and write your congressman about more research and tests to be done for gynecological cancers that aren’t easily detected. One day I pray for a cure for all cancers so we can all live long and prosperous lives.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Golden

I wrote this piece and shared it at Damion and Morgan's wedding in Las Vegas last weekend! It was revealed for the first time at the ceremony which was very touching. I witnessed God working through the whole garden that evening. Damion and Morgan may God bless you both on your union. I love you both.

Golden


Flirting around like two dancing butterflies that flutter wings to a soft breeze

One getting closer to the other as one flies away

Back and forth as they sway to the wind on a warm spring day

When we find each other again I begin to wonder how God knew

To place you

So intricately

Like a puzzle piece into my life

You fit just right

I asked God, "How do I know he/she is the one? I mean this can't be, this isn't the way I wanted to meet?"

He told me to take "me" out of the scene and His word is the final...

Meditating on God I heard Him say look closer and you will see...

Finally staring into your eyes I saw the energy of waves crashing on a Hawaiian beach, delicateness of a parent holding their newborn for the first time and the love of two after they renew their vows

Deeper I saw God in you

Answers to questions came as fast as a rolling storm on a hot summer night

Spirit igniting as He shined the light on us

Reminiscing on days where I thought God didn't design someone for me

Seeking near and far for you as time went on I stopped looking

And when I did...there you were

All this time we were twirling around one another

When we met your smile lit up the dark sky

Gently touching your hand I had assurance that God made me for you

Suddenly my walls were crashing

Hesitation that felt like uneasy breathing

Was no more

Realizing

You're my equal

Spiritual partner

Mentor

Lover

Conqueror

Care giver

Night in shining armor

Future mother of my child

Father to my unborn

You're my best friend

And we are in this until the end

I will say I do

To you

Knowing your love for God and how you always put Him first

Granting us permission to move onward

Living our lives like its golden

Our rings symbolize unity

Hearing the angels singing in harmony

On our special day

Baby I would have it no other way

As we lay

Our paths down to walk together

In God's direction

Searching no further

As we have a love to call our own

In faith alone

In Christ alone

Forever in unison

Written By: Serena Wills

August 28th, 2010

All rights reserved

Copyright 2010 Serena Wills

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Where Did You Come From?

Where Did You Come From?


There’s a famous question that every admirable couple I know asked when that special person entered their life out of thin air. One minute they were single, the next they were talking to someone who caught their interest and before you know it they were dating. I’ve gone to two weddings this year on my way to number three on Friday and a fourth in October. All of the couples were at various stages in their lives when that special person either walked into their lives physically or in a couple of cases virtually.

One couple was “poking” each other on Facebook. Well a couple of pokes turned into a date and that lead to a relationship and then…I witnessed them walking down the aisle exchanging vows! They were friends for years and there was a lot of back and forth but it eventually lead to tears of joy letting me know that you never know when it will be time to make that connection and with whom.

Another couple met on an infamous website that I thought wasn’t around anymore…yes you guessed it, Black Planet. Tashawn* was very hesitant as she didn’t believe in virtual romance either. But after casual talk back and forth they decided to go on “the date.” Her side of the story was she didn’t know if she liked him and was nervous but when she met him physically she still had the guards up. After date #2 she warmed up to Tony* and now they are husband and wife. After a series of pre-marital counseling at my church home in Dallas, Texas at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship the last session consisted of them exchanging their vows to one another before their family and God.

Another couple truly inspired me by their story when Loretta* met her husband Gordan* at a night club in NYC. She pulled her girls to the side and said, “He’s too cute, where did he come from?” After having their daughter life split their paths in half and she left NYC to go home to Dallas, TX. After his fight with internal demons called “gambling” he cleaned himself up and did what any great man would do…he went after his family and reclaimed his life with them and relationship with God.

As I spoke with each couple I’m amazed at how life can make you turn a corner, be somewhere you had no intention on being, or even joining a social network to catch up with old friends but instead you caught a man or woman. All of their questions were the same after a couple of dates and conversations, “Where did you come from?”

Asia* and Rob* grew up together and their families know each other. After years of going their own ways they “ran” into each other again. She had gone through two trying relationships and her quote to me was that he was a breath of fresh air. She was happy to have her “friend” back in her life. Well little did she know that he wasn’t going anywhere this go round and now they will tie the knot in October. Every time I see her she’s glowing with the love that has been bestowed on her.

Last couple that is heading down the aisle next year worked together. Marie* said she paid him no mind for a year as they were co-workers even though they were both single. He was throwing the signs at her, compliments, you name it he did it and she intercepted every pass. After a while she began to see what he was about through their friendship and she decided to finally go on a date. Dates turned into a blissful relationship to a beautiful daughter to a proposal on a stage at a play in NYC.

I was compelled to write this piece to inspire those who may be looking or are in a bad relationship. How do you know what your blessing is if you keep blocking it? I want to tell you to put the binoculars down and not look so hard. He/she is coming. From where???? I can’t tell you. Sometimes when you look too hard you find the wrong thing. It’s not in your time…it’s in His time. Ask yourself am I blocking my blessing, sending out bad vibes, negative energy, trying to rush him/her into my life, dating the wrong person? Ask those hard questions and begin to look within and one day you’ll be writing a blog asking yourself, “Where Did You Come From?” And it will be all good! Peace.

Written By: Serena Wills

*Names were changed for privacy.
 
*Picture is of Damion and Morgan Davis (love is in the air people).

Monday, August 16, 2010

God's Matrimony

In July I witnessed another beautiful couple unite as Desmond and Riki Atkins joined hands in holy matrimony. I was invited along with my friend Will Richey to do a collaboration poem at the reception. This is my part of the poem and when I get Will's half I will post at that time. Desmond and Riki...again congratulations! Both of you inspire me. Denim has two amazing and blessed parents!

God’s Matrimony

God whispered to us
And in His words we trust
Him to lead our paths to become one
Listening to His every direction from within
And out
As we let go of our fears to love each other again
First time we tried to direct the plan
Not knowing that no matter what we did we are just man
God has the final say
As He laid
Down our roads, cobble stone by cobble stone
Every grain of dirt as He paved our way
Walking side by side through this journey
Under His supervision
We steadily listened
Moving forward with God's intervention
Having every intention
On being together for the rest of our lives
Vows will be kept unbroken
Sometimes our love will even be unspoken
Emotions jetting out like a racing stream
Before it embraces the ocean
Spirits flooded with sincere passion
Loving each other constantly
Living out our destiny
Knowing that we are each other’s divine molds
Intricately designed by You
May the love we have
Branch out like trees
From the roots to the leaves
Extending to our little one Denim
So she can see
Her parents loving each other…spiritually
Complimenting each other eternally
Hands intertwined
Praying in unity
On bended knees
As we begin our lives
In God’s Matrimony...

Copyright 2010 by Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Creative Storm

New piece I wrote while in Dallas, TX a few weeks ago. Enjoy.

Creative Storm

Perfection at its best
Lyricism taken to the test
Writing nonstop without rest
Eyes glued to the screen
Not getting enough of this good stuff
That's infused in my DNA
Creative storms brewing through my bones, into my finger tips
As my lips bless a mic
Words are coming to me in my dreams
As it seems
The storm won't stop
Even when I put the pen down
Astounded
Words, lyrics, poems and characters are still chattering
In my brain as I have to write more
Raining on the keys with avengence
Characters developing into their own person
Winds of my lyrics on the mic knocking down the coldest
Touching hearts in the right places
With my written creative storm
Spreading
City to city
State to state
Next stop...country to country
Once the storm leaves
Everything is cleansed
People left wondering when it will come again
Wanting a taste of the rain
Of creativity
To be poured down on them once more

Written July 7, 2010

Shuck n Jive Restaurant, Dallas, TX

Matt Barron playing tunes

Copyright Serena Wills 2010

All Right Reserved

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Crooning

This poem is what I envision anyone who is in love with a musician from a female perspective(no I'm not in love...yet). But one never knows what the future holds. Enjoy!

Crooning

I’m in love with a musician
No need to front any longer as he always captures my attention
If he wanted me he could have me in any sort of position
Listen
Can’t go on living in denial
A glimpse of his smile attracts me
When he gets on that mic and serenades me
Got down on one bending knee asking me to dig him back
I froze and when my mouth moved nothing came out and I couldn’t say jack
Crooning
Loving me from a far on the stage
Or up close and personal after a set
Assuming he did this to all the girls
Learning that in fact he only croons for thee
Mind is twirling 50 miles per minute
He’s different, magical and sexy
Singing lyrics that make even the coldest person feel a certain way
Warming my body inside and out
Inhaling…exhaling deeply…when he winks in my direction
Stressing on what to wear and even down to how I style my hair
Ladies…this crooner can sing any type of song
R and B, Reggae, Rock, Slow Tunes
Blues, Blue Grass, Latin and will even reach back and sing some Marvin Gaye
Sexual healing he’ll say to me knowing I’ve been burned before
Spirituality is out of this world
Reaching down in parts of me that were left untapped from the bums prior
Swaying to his tunes as I make my way to the front of the room
Nothing standing between us
Ladies this is way more than lust
Extending his hand out and I follow instruction
Pulling me close as he continues to sing
While dancing with me
Making the other ladies in the audience scream
Effect on me is like a hurricane
Blown away by his eyes, charm, touch, voice and musical talents
Crooning…singing love tunes for thousands
In fact even millions when he blows up
Hoping he won’t forget about our private memories
Creating musical love making from the last poem
Trapped in an artist paradise
With him…lucky girl I am
Listen to me…no more denial
Giving him my undivided attention
Writing poetry and lyrics for him
Facing the truth and simple fact that I’m in love with a musician

Copyright 2010 Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved