Stained Glass

My time flies, just last year I was sending Amma a sympathy card telling her how sorry I was about her losing her husband, our friend Brian West not knowing that days later in late April after wishing Max a happy birthday on Facebook that I would be sending yet another sympathy card. It's still a shock that two great and beautiful brothers passed last year. I wrote this piece on the plane in 2008. I dedicate this to my Soror Amma and Sista Eileen (please someone pass onto Eileen), to all the loved ones of Brian's and Max's. RIP my brothas. This piece is called Stained Glass.

Stained Glass

God ease the pain
Of my mourning, suffering, grieving and strain
Moving closer to the day
When I say good bye to my beloved
It was just passed Saturday when I saw him last
Face gleaming as those eyes pierced through me
Loving every moment I spent with thee
As I grabbed his hand and with a passionate kiss telling him, “I love you”
Watching him stroll out the front door not knowing it would be my last
By nightfall I felt a heavy rain through my spirit
I began to cry as I thought back to how much I love him
And can’t wait to spend the rest of life with the man of my dreams
The love of my life
But something didn’t feel right
I couldn’t see clearly as I tried to wash away the sudden tears
Vision becoming blurry
As the phone rang out
As I ran to it in fear
With the short words a voice whispered, “He is gone.”
Not comprehending as my heart began to palpitate
The voice of his friend grew a little louder
“I am so sorry he is gone.”
The rain in my spirit turned into a storm as I felt the thunder boom through my heart
My beloved died and God I ask you why
Did you take him away from me we were never supposed to part
The voice on the other end was one of his best friends
As I tried to focus on the words I couldn’t understand
Comprehension was as blurry as my vision
Not being able to see clearly
There were no signs or implications
Of this sudden complication that took you away from me
Standing before thee
What I wouldn’t give to see those bright eyes gaze at me
Tears streaming like the Nile River
Although I have faith in God
And I trust you Lord
I had to wonder
Why did my man have to die and so suddenly
Without an inkling of anything wrong
Standing before him I fell to my knees in front of his casket as I began to whisper
“Good bye my love and know I will love you always until the day I am called home.”
Tears streaming
Screaming
Crying louder
Holding on for dear life
I heard a whisper
“You are my child and I will comfort you during this time of mourning.”
Not understanding I stood up and walked back to my seat as I heard yet another whisper
“Baby I love you and will be near.”
Shaking my head as I looked around
I heard your voice but no where to be found
As I walked into my empty place I once called home
Place of solitude and somewhere I can mourn
Life feels like stained glass
Looking through it is not clear to me anymore
One day I pray that my life will seem clear again
But until then I will continue to pray
As my movements through the day are slow
Hoping that someday I have an answer to your departure
But always know that I love you, miss you and praying
God will wash the stain glass
So life will be clear for me once more

Written By:

Serena Wills

May 3, 2008

Matthew: 5:4 “Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted.”

Dedicated to Soror Amma Tanksley-West and Sista Eileen.

Dedicated to two great brothers that we lost..Brian West and Max Osiris Finley…God bless.

Copyright Serena Wills 2008

All Rights are Reserved

Da Flip...a piece about teen pregnancy

Hey everyone! Here is my weekly post in honor of National Poetry month. I wrote this poem when a young girl in my life, close to me had her son. She was only 13 when she delivered a healthy baby boy. She's smart, intelligent, beautiful, but somewhere we lost her in the world.

According to a research study on http://www.pregnantteenhelp.org/ "As of 2004, the number of live births to teenage mothers across the United States was 415,408. And the number of births to teenagers in the United States aged 15-19 was 41.2 out of a 1,000."

That was almost half a million a year in the United States alone.

Now what is baby girl doing you may ask??? She's an advocate to other teens about getting caught up, using protection and how her life will never be the same. She is a fortunate one as she still brings home A's and B's, is applying to private universities in NYC and didn't catch an STD, HIV or worst...AIDS. Talk to your teen and get all up in their business, there is no such thing as privacy with them. This is real!

So this piece is dedicated to her and her mother and it's titled, "Da Flip."

Da Flip!

This is how I feel
Your life has been flipped upside down
360 degrees
You didn’t ask for it, you didn’t want it
The confusion that has commenced over night
But it’s hear and there is no need to fuss and fight
It’s here and you didn’t want it
Your life got flipped upside down
360 degrees
Because she wasn’t careful
She wasn’t careful
See baby girl was confused
And as her mama sang the blues
And Daddy went to prison
She was in a state of confusion and needed intervention
Your life ain’t same
And believe me this ain’t no game
See baby girl found the answers
When she looked for love in all the wrong places
Nine months went by
Without one inkling of a sign
She hid this one real well
And now your life has been turned into something else
Our precious baby had a baby
And there was no room for intervention
No protection
Why didn’t she talk to us
Why didn’t she reach out
We gave her the talk and went right out of her mind
We should have been there
Too damn busy dealing with our messes
Just assumed she wouldn’t look for love in all the wrong places
She told us she was a virgin
“No Mommy I don’t want to have sex”
And we believed her
And adored her as we knew we raised her right
But we lost her
Somewhere we lost her
At the sweet age of 13
She gave birth
As you held her hand for dear life
As she screamed and screamed
And gave new life
You looked down at her as you rubbed her head
Wondering what would have happened if she never told
Even though it was just 48 hours ago
“Mommy, I did a terrible thing.”
As you saw the pain
You knew what she had done
No words needed to be spoken from that point on
Before you could even make an appointment
He came and there was your grandson
We should have been there
Why didn’t she even tell us
My best friend was a Grandmother at 32
Baby’s raising babies
Grandmothers raising grandkids
No love lost but the trust is gone
The trust is gone people
How can I trust…
I believed her…I wanted too…God I believed her…
But she lied to us
She was so so scared
But now she has to raise a baby in this cold world
We are losing our children to pressure
To ill conceptions
World issues
To street demons
We are losing them…and we need to ask ourselves what are we gonna do…

Copyright 2009 Serena Wills

All Rights are Reserved

God's Whisper

Happy Easter everyone! In honor of National Poetry month I told people that I would post a new piece every Sunday in April. With today being Easter I thought this poem was appropriate. I wrote this piece after reading an inspiring book by Dr. Bessie Blake titled Speak to the Mountain. After reading the book in less than a week I wrote this piece as I was going through some dark moments in my life and was walking towards seeing out of it into the light. I hope this poem can encourage someone today. Peace and blessings.

God's Whisper

Listen
Listen
Listen
God spoke to me
In my darkest hour
In a whisper
As I cried for days and nights
I finally heard His voice
I began to quiet my spirit as the loud sobs turned into whimpers
A voice so softly
So gently
At the midnight hour
Told me
“I will get you through
Speak to the mountains in your life my child
Tell them your problems, talk to THEM
Declare to me that you will get through this and let me inside
Look out into the dark night my child and know I will get you over
the mountains
SPEAK TO IT
As the voice grew it shouted louder
SPEAK TO IT!"
As the dawn arose I awoken to feeling the Holy Spirit blanket me
A shield of protection as my heart began to get lighter
I began singing and praising His name
As the sun began to shine and the clouds cleared in my life
I just lifted my hands and shouted Thank You
It felt so wonderful to shout so I did it again as I yelled even louder
Thank You Jesus!
I spoke to the mountain asking for God to forgive those that trespassed against me
I spoke the other mountain as I asked God to forgive me for I have sinned
Praying for a new day and a lighter soul
At that moment I forgave my enemies
It was that moment that I left my past behind me
I now lived for the future and prayed for those I left on the mountain
Not everyone can walk with you on your spiritual journey
Not everyone can walk the same path to the same beat as you
In that waking moment I knew I was FREE!
Free from emotional distress
Free from having my spirit enslaved
Free from mental bondage
I was FREE!
Speak to me Lord
Thank You
Speak to me God
Thank you God
Thank you for getting me over the mountains in my life

Dedicated to those who have never spoken to the mountains in their life. Speak to them and may God lead you down your righteous path.

Copyright 2008 Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Faith in the Valley

I wrote this piece the night President Obama won the election. In honor of National Poetry Month I will post a poem every Sunday. Since I missed this passed Sunday this will be my first post and this Sunday you'll see another (two for one). This historic night rang through my spirit as I witnessed with thousands of people at Friendship West Baptist Church that night. People were crying, falling to their knees thanking God and the elders raised their hands high as they didn't think that they would ever see this happen. Enjoy my piece titled, "Faith in the Valley."

Change was made tonight
United country we stood
Strive to vote for change
All races, creed, religions
Came together
And jumped from a crumbling foundation
Of what was the past
And took a leap of faith onto a concrete future
God showed me
What true faith is
Believing in Him and never taking your eye off of your Father
We struggled, have been impoverished and beaten down
Some thought God can’t be around
He wouldn’t allow this to happen to His people
But we went through strife and pain
So when the struggle is over we will regain
As he doesn’t want us to get into a habit of maintaining
Any faith that was lost
I’ll be able to tell my children “Si se puede”
Strive for the best and know
Sky’s the limit
Our ancestors, elders made this path for us
One stepped out of the crowd and had faith
And with his prayer warriors and belief in Him
He won the fight and got in
A man who could look me into the eye and relate to me…to us
Everything he says touches my heart
But one speech resonates with me apart from all…
DNC night he said, “I only met my father once while I was 10, I believe his absence shaped the person that I am today.”
Room went silent
Heavy tears flowed
He was talking to me
All the years and I now know
I am who I am partly because of his absence
Could’ve went the other way and strayed
But his absence and my Mothers strong arm helped me to stay
Grounded, focused and simply astounded
That our President can relate to me, we…all
The struggle isn’t over
Time to work
As we become
A united front

Copyright 2009 Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved

Breeze of Inspiration

What an incredible week...as I sit here listening to my girl Iris Leu live at Borders Books. Her voice is so pure that anyone would become simply inspired by her smooth lyrics as she makes love to the piano keys. (You did great today Iris)!

This week holds such a creative imprint on my soul. I felt as if my week started on Thursday night when I was a featured poet at the South Dallas Cultural Center (SDCC) then continued on Friday night when I heard one of the toughest bands perform in Dallas called Melody Memory who played the jump off from the Roots, "The Next Movement" one of my favorite hip hop tracks to get hype...continuing on to Saturday at MINC night club where ArtLoveMagic brought it with live artists, painters, creating magic in the space and the spoken word jam with the poets then ending on a high note on Sunday listening to renowned artist Carolyn Mazloomi talk to just a handful of us about the ups and downs with publishing and all her knowledge on the subject! Whew!

So as I sit here concluding my day listening to Iris Leu I reflected on Thursday night. I was blessed to be a featured poet at SDCC for Women's History Month! This place is truly a jewel in the community and my second home. When you walk in the building you feel like you've been transported to cities like NYC, Philly, DC, LA and even Johannesburg, SA with the cultural flavor! But no it's right here in Dallas! They spread cultural experiences through the arts and pay attention to African American heritage to uplift the people.

As the Black Box theater echoed the sounds of Jill Scott's Crown Royal song all those who had an intense work week suddenly fell into another dimension called the world of poetry! The red and purple lights soothed me as I was immediately put into the zone.

I was so humbled to have a few friends come out and support me (thanks to all of you)! A couple even blessed the mic! As the evening went on I was amazed by the young men who came from the Catrell House facility that blessed the mic and shared their stories of both their good and bad journeys. Catrell House is housed in Dallas and serves as a place for teen boys who have been locked up, detention, and basically sent to the system. The staff believe in exposing their young men to the arts and other venues to teach them that they can have creative outlets.

The moment finally came when I was introduced. I already felt inspired by all the poets before me and was energized. It was hard picking out which five pieces to do. I did Divine Mold first as I told the audience I wrote this piece a year ago when I was upset that a brother that I was digging not only wasn't digging me...but was feeling my friend. Oh no! So after I wrote an angry/depressing poem I went to bed that night. At 6:30am on Sunday morning I woke up and wrote Divine Mold. I knew God had someone in store for me after writing this piece...

I then went into my newest piece titled, "His Voice." I first posted this on FB a couple of weeks ago. This piece is dedicated to my true men...the troopers. This is my first piece about how much I love a true and worthy man! I've learned over time that not every man ladies and gentlemen are cut from the same piece of cloth. This piece also depicts the man that God will bless me with one day...

Okay breathe....as I'm going off on this keyboard so full of excitement about the week...okay second half.

So the second half of the open mic was full of more great poets and I felt the electricity in the air! I had to gear up as I now had to do three pieces of poetry. The next piece pulled heart strings as I knew it would titled, "Da Flip." It's about a young teenage mother and her young grandmother (35 to be exact) and how life can turn in another direction when our babies aren't careful. Beautiful and brilliant young girl...who made a choice that she now has to live with forever. We all get CAUGHT UP, but some of us don't get caught as this young lady did. Her son is turning three this year and she's going to college next year as she's learned a valuable lesson in life.

Tears formed in my eyes but I couldn't cry...I still had two more pieces. I think poets should have what I call, "Interludes" heck musicians have em why not us ;-) so Reconstruction is my poetic interlude. It helps shift direction as I talk about how people have to be put back together as they either fell or were taken a part. Once we are reconstructed we are stronger than ever! Once the shift occurred I was able to end the night with Nubian Woman (one of my favorites and a signature piece). I told the audience that once God reconstructed me I was now a Strong Nubian Woman!

I know this blog is long but folks back home asked me to recreate what they naturally missed and I was so hype over this week and Thursday that I had to obey the command.

So the night ended with me feeling refocused and re-energized! I knew I had to get my poetry into a book and out into the universe soon! But what I heard when it was over I wasn't prepared for...

A couple of young men approached me. One in particular. He said, "Ms. Serena I want to thank you for that piece Da Flip. I'm 16 and have 3 children and I promise that I will be a father to them."

I wish the young lady I talked about could hear him as a couple of others thanked me for that piece and "His Voice". You never know who you're touching and affecting until it hits you. He shook my hand and I only pray that when this young man is released in three weeks that he will be a productive citizen and a father to his children.

I was grateful to have sold three framed poems that night as my friend Damion asked me for my autograph on the poem itself. So as I took the piece out of the frame a sista walked up to me and asked to buy two frames and, "Yes I want you to sign them too."

Ahhhhhh, thank you for making a sista feel good y'all! Trust me people I will never let my head get big. I just want to do what God blessed me with and pursue my love and passion of writing! Thanks to all the supporters and the South Dallas Cultural Center (Vicki, Harold and Tisha) for having me that night.

Be inspired, open your eyes and mind to all that life has to offer...peace!

His Voice...A Piece for the Men

Alright men! Let me know your thoughts...dedicated to the true men in my life and those making a positive impact in the world ;-) Love y'all!!!!

His Voice
Dedicated to the true man…

Intellectual
Harmonious
Melody
Depicts a man’s strong voice
Who isn’t afraid to think
Encourage
And motivate your whole thought process
Mover and shaker
Building a foundation for his family
Spiritual leader and the healer for his wife
Partner in someone’s wildest dreams
Intervenes when he needs
Peace and unity in his circle and life
This goes out to the true man
Hardcore worker
Back breaker
Peacemaker
Lover
One who fills my soul with his mere intellect
He turns my spirit on in such a way
When he gets down on his knees and simply prays
Honest and truthful
God’s divine model
Of what a true man possesses
Aware of his Creator and who’s really in charge
Father to his kids and sometimes others
Beautiful son to his mother and elders
Embraces his culture
Open mindedness to what life has to offer
Doesn’t mess around or toys with anyone’s feelings
Man of God, truth and justiceTrue King in my eyes
As he walks with no fear to protect his community
Leaving me to simply love thee
This goes out to the true man
Not everyone can raise their hand
And fill his shoes
He’s no one’s boy
Done with those days of playing
As he bends down and kneels
Praying for the little boys in the streets to grow up
Taking their place in society
Voicing concern to those who think they’re real men
But they aren’t as he strives to inspire
All those he touches
Knowing his passions and calling
This is dedicated to the true and worthy men…thank you


Copyright 2009 Serena Wills
All Rights Reserved

Our Father is Gone

Our father Wendell Hayes passed away nine years ago this week. It may sound crazy but although I never knew him I still loved him. It takes two and as I look as his pictures and hear the good things about him I'm glad that he wasn't all bad.

A brother confused not wanting to step up to responsibility. But all in all...I forgave him after I received word in May of 2000 after my mothers friend running into an old friend of my Dad's that he passed away just two months prior of lung cancer. I was devastated. How could I be mad at someone who was dead? I had to let it go and told him in my prayers, "Father I forgive you, rest in peace." Never laying eyes on him, hearing his voice, listening to him play the drums (which is how he met my Mom) or feeling his embrace I would never know physically how he was or felt.

His death opened up doors to another world...my other half. I have two more sisters and a brother. My older sister who shall remain nameless doesn't recognize myself nor my other sister by my father Shavonn. I pray for her and hope one day our brother Marcus who we have not a clue as to where he is will surface in God's time.

I'm happy that before he passed away he was counseling other men and women who were drinking and drugging like he used too. He was also a motivational speaker and although I call my Creator God he called his Allah as he found Islam in prison. He turned it around, but at 53 he was taken away...

I wrote this piece nine years ago and it's titled, "Our Father is Gone."

Ase to the elders that have passed, Ase to our father Wendell Hayes, Ase, Ase, Ase.

Our Father is Gone

“This is for our father. Dedicated to Wendell Hayes.”

A brother has passed
His soul lie between two worlds
He went out so fast that he still thinks he is here
His spirit is confused as to why no one is acknowledging him
When he speaks to people they keep walking
When his name comes up his children cry
WHY! He screams, IS NO ONE PAYING ME ANY MIND
If only he knew he has passed
As he begins to see the light and his life pass before him
It is becoming clearer as he sees his children light a candle and pray as one
ONE
They were never one until he had passed
All got different Mama’s but got the same daddy
Close in age but never grew together as ONE
It took him to die for them to find one another
Tragedy took place and instead of mourning I rejoice
Out of pain, he is at PEACE
No more disease, drinking and drugging
Beautiful Black Man Tell Me Why!
Why did you have to die so soon before your time?
Only the Creator knows that answer
For He will give this Black Man strength to be a father to his children
But from the other side
He can guide them through the storm, move obstacles out of the way
As I hear the talking drums from above I know it is he that is blessing me
I hear the Djembe drums at night and I know it is he that is calling me
Telling me
I’m sorry for what I have done
I’m sorry for leaving you like this
Not knowing me
ALL my life I have been looking for this Black Man and I found him
Gone
His spirit lives on through his children
But tell me WHY BLACK MAN
Why did you not recognize me?
I feel stronger cause you see…a part of him always knew me
He couldn’t admit his mistakes
It took him to die in order for me to forgive
A Strong Black Man died y’all and for what?
His lifestyles caught up
But his memory lives on
As I hear the talking drums play
I hear his hands hitting on the Djembe
As he sings an African tune to me from the heavens
DID y’all hear me
A strong BLACK MAN has died
And has gone on his way
He realizes that BLACK MAN IZ GOD
It took him to die and roam the earth to figure it out
He always had God within him and never knew it
A strong and powerful man is gone
Walked off into the sunset to join his parents above
Now they all look down and wonder why
WHY DID WE HAVE TO DIE?
As the families mourn and rejoice too
Mourn his death but bless their reunion which is long over due
Over due by twenty five years
Acceptance is not easy amongst our people
Acceptance is not easy when there are unanswered questions
The man who died has our answers
Why did he die I ask my creator?
Another one gone before his time
As I pray to the spirits and ancestors for his safe journey
And wish that I knew he
People I mourn his death
BUT REJOICE THE LIVING
Rejoice the union of my family
As we look at one another
And become ONE…

Copyright 2000 Serena Wills

All Rights Reserved