Love of My Life

Dedicated to the love of my life...

Your smile and tender touch
Brings tears to my eyes on a daily
I've been through storms that not even the average person should have survived
All of my storms lead to blessings and sun shine
Never have I experienced a love like this before
From your beautiful bright eyes
To a smile that's a mile wide
Even when my days are grey
I look at you and my spirit is renewed
God blessed me with an angel
My first born
Willing to do
All I can as your mother
To the little man in my life
Jordan Oladele...I love you
Grandma Sauti was right...she sent you to us as she promised
I have so many plans and dreams that were deferred
Now my dreams will be ours
And we'll even create new ones!
Thank you son for choosing me as your mother

May our lives be long together

Written By:

Serena Wills

Copyright (c) 2011

My Life as a Mother

Its been a long time since posting to my blog. Between the tail end of my pregnancy being full of unpacking my new apartment, getting ready for the newest addition to the world and then giving birth I've been busy. My life has changed since Jordan was born 3 months ago...but for the better. Every time I tried to write about my life and motherhood I became stuck. Almost speechless because there aren't enough words to describe how I feel.

What helped me to get unstuck in regards to my writing was watching how short life can be. My family has lost a couple of family members and our community has lost legends. I thought to myself, what if my time was up? My son would have no recollection in writing about how I feel as a mother. So here we go...

Dearest Jordan,

You're the sunshine of my life! I never knew I could love like this until I held you for the first time in my arms. I didn't want to let go of you and when I looked into your eyes I knew there was a God! Now don't get me wrong...I know God is real. But having you confirmed that God can make people love again, He can also show adults like me that love truly exists! After your Grandma Sauti passed away I crawled into a shell...I was at a loss. I didn't think I could love again or open up because I was (and still am) hurt that she had to leave us. Then I reconnected with your father and then came you.

I loved being pregnant with you and now that you're here I love leaning over the crib to say "Good Morning" and in return I get a huge smile!

I pray to God that we have a long life together! There are so many things to show you, dreams I have, stories to tell you and things to experience through the eyes of being your mother. You're so special to me and quite a few people. You're even blessed to have (3) living great grandparents!

We're going to have fun together between taking you to African dance class (I danced with you for 8 months of my pregnancy) to running (you're already practicing with those active feet)! I want you to have a life greater than me and your father's put together! I want you to see the world with those huge eyes of yours!

Loving you is a treasure! Jordan I thank you because one of my life long dreams was to become a mother and now I have you. I love you so much.

Writing Hiatus

It's been a while since I wrote on my blog. Life has gone in so many different directions this year and I feel as if I have a lot to say but it's all cluttered in my brain. Being pregnant has been such a blessing and I know once my beautiful son enters this world he will give me even more inspiration to write.

I also feel as if God is telling me that I have so much written that it's time to start birthing all of it by publishing my books. He always makes a way and although money is super tight with us preparing for little one I know somehow...someway...God will provide a way for me to finally birth my books. I've learned to not listen to everyone this year. Everyone has an opinion...and I mean everyone. One person went as far to tell me I might as well put my books and dreams on the back burner until next year or so because I can't be a new mother and keep pursuing my writing career. Some of you might be shaking your heads, but my pregnancy has shed a lot and I mean a lot of light. I just pray and meditate and whatever God wants me to do I will do it and shut out all negative energy and put it into my internal neglect file (start one...you'll have so much peace once you realize you can't take in or listen to everyone). The one thing I am hearing from Him is to not defer my dreams and to continue to love. If anything make my son a part of my dreams (he'll like the fun ride we will take together on this journey).

Stay tuned for what's next in my journey called life. So far this year has been a true blessing. After losing my sister Ayana in 2007, Mom in 2010 God said its enough and I need to receive abundant blessings. Regardless of what people may think...it's my time to shine.

Sometimes when there is silence after you pray, don't fret. God is working on something bigger and better for you. Silence is powerful. I know I will get clear direction as to what to do in regards to my writing and finding resources soon. He always comes right...on...time.

God bless and have a fantastic week, month and summer.

Few copies left of "Keeping the Faith Anthology" Support Me By Buying a Copy Today!

One of the best things I've heard after reading an excerpt of my story at an open mic or event is, "Thank you for being transparent and allowing others to be inspired!" I still have copies left of Keeping the Faith Edited By Essence Magazine Best Seller Vanessa Miller! It's been great sharing the story about my mother titled, "Listening Ear." The book is available and on sale right here on my website!


Buy your copy by going to the left hand column and click below the book cover, choose how many books and you will be directed to a secure PayPal website. Also if you live in the DMV area (DC/MD/VA) I will arrange to bring copies directly to you!

Here’s a snippet of the true story about my mother’s battle of Ovarian Cancer.

Looking back I think Nana knew something. There was an unusual nervousness in her voice when she asked, “Is everything okay? Can she come home yet?”


Not wanting my grandmother to know the full weight of the situation, I looked her in the eye and said, “I’m going to see and will let you know.”

I jumped into a cab and went to Jamaica Hospital which was ten minutes away. I imagined the room to be dark and filled with demons meeting me at the door. When I walked into the room, I saw my mother resting peacefully. I kissed her on the cheek and she woke up smiling. The next few hours we talked about life. She held my hand and gave me firm instructions on her final arrangements. Towards the end of the conversation I said, “Ma, we’re going to beat this! I need you to believe me. Why do we have to talk about this?”

She smiled and said, “Serena, I’m so thankful and I wanted you to know that. Because, if I die, I don’t want anything to be left unsaid.”
Puzzled I said, “Come again?”

Mom said, “I’m so grateful. I have you, Christina, family and friends. I’m glad I had a chance to adopt Ayana and care for her before she died two years ago.”

Here my mother was sick with the most advanced stage of cancer and she could still say how grateful she was. That night she taught me something in that dank hospital room. No matter how bad the situation seems or how deep the waters are, I should open up my mouth and say, “Lord I Thank You for what I have.”

Please support me and purchase a copy or two or more. I can even make arrangements to meet you so you can buy the book. I will only hold books for 1 business week only. Spread the word and purchase your copy today! Peace and blessings!

Mark Your Calendar! I'm One of the Featured Artists Performing at, "Words, Images, Movement and Sound!"

Blessings to everyone! I will be one of the featured artists at the Baltimore County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc event titled, "Words, Images, Movement and Sound." Come out Sunday, May 22, 2011 from 3-5pm. Located at The Randallstown Community Center, 3505 Resource Drive, Randallstown, MD 21133. I will be reading an excerpt of my most recent published story titled, "Listening Ear" which is in "Keeping the Faith anthology" and some poetry. I will have framed poetry and books for sale. Come out and enjoy this FREE event dedicated to the arts!

Do your part and support the arts! Peace and love!

White Candles



Mom African Dancing in 1979



Second Mother's Day without my sweet mother and I'm surviving. One day at a time and sometimes one moment. Let peace enter your heart and begin to heal as I've done. It's so hard, but I'm getting there and for those out there that have lost their sweet mothers or other women in their lives...let the healing begin. Pull out old pictures, laugh at the sweet memories shared and smile because you had a loving mother. May peace be with you.

White Candles


White candles burn

Sweet aroma throughout my house

Vanilla, gardenia, jasmine and white rose

Cleansing as it leaves a calm that was lost months ago

Glow from the flame gives my spirit light

Ancestor’s are lifted

Flickering in the still of the night

Crackling sounds of the wick is all I hear through the dark

White candles give me peace and hope like a dove that flies through the sky

On my knees praying as I place white flowers next to the smiling faces in pictures of those lost

Remembering them through the gift of light of my burning candles

I soon reminisce about lessons learned

Mother taught me to never yearn for the dead

She said instead light beautiful white candles

Talk to those gone and they will be your listening ear

She also told me, “When I’m gone I’ll always be near to hear and guide you.”

I believe her and know that the light is shining through me as it burns

Symbolizing purity and peace

Something I never thought I would feel again or at least


For a long time to come

Simple things have helped me grieve

Although you had to leave

I will always talk to you day and night

Promising to you that one day I’ll feel joy

Calmness is building inside me

And one day…I’ll even feel as bright as the color white

My passion will be on fire again like the wick that burns

I promise you…one day…I’ll feel like those white candles

Written By: Serena T. Wills
 
Dedicated to My Sweet Mother Marguerite "Sauti" Wills May You Rest In Peace



On this Mother's Day This is Also Dedicated to All the Grandmothers, Mothers, Aunts and Women That Have Passed Away and Touched Our Lives. We Love and Miss You!

 

Copyright 2011 (All Rights Reserved)





Mother's Day Special! Receive a Free Laminated 8x10 Poem with Book Purchase!

Hi everyone and blessings to you! Thank you to everyone that has supported and purchased a copy of the anthology I'm published in titled, "Keeping the Faith." I've gotten great reviews about my story from readers that have purchased and already read the book!

Here's what children's author Kelly Starling-Lyons had to say, "I was so moved by your essay. What a beautiful testimony. Proud of you, Serena. Keep celebrating your mom's life. Love that the meaning of Sauti is voice. Thank you for sharing your voice and memory with us."

“Keeping the Faith” is edited by Vanessa Miller. She’s an author and Essence Magazine Best Seller!

My story is titled, “Listening Ear.” I have a snippet below in the last posting. You can also purchase a copy online and I promise to sign it and send off to you. Prices include shipping charges.

I'm offering a special deal for Mother's Day! All orders placed before or on May 5th will receive an 8x10 Laminated Poem titled, "Abundant Love." Abundant Love is written for all mothers. This is a $10 value and I'm offering it free with the purchase of a book. Here is a snippet of the poem below:

Abundant Love


Her touch and embrace
As she wiped the tears from my face
Holding me tightly whispering, “It’s going to be okay”
Cleaning the dirt away from my scars
I remember those days
When Mama would make everything feel like brand new
Between cuts, scrapes, bruises on my skin from falling on my knees yet again
Mom has a tender touch as she told me to hold on tight
The sudden burn disappeared as Bactine was sprayed on my wound
In between sobs saying, thank you Mommy
Always wiping away the pain whether it was a scrape on my elbow
Or another love that didn’t go
In the direction that I thought it would be
Times when I couldn’t understand what was happening to me
Laughing now cause I was going through mere puberty
Causing her drama
But all mama could say was
Everything is going to be okay
Mothers have a way with words like no other
To this day I’m amazed of your strength and often wonder
How did we make it through...

If you live in the DMV (DC/MD/VA area) I can also drop a copy or two or how many you want to you directly. They are $10.00 each.

Remember this offer is only good until May 5th, 2011. Buy your copy and get a free poem today! Thank you in advance for your support!!!!!