Showing posts with label challenges. Show all posts
Showing posts with label challenges. Show all posts
Friday, January 10, 2014
Friday Inspiration
Today I started vestibular physical therapy. For those who don't know what that is or what is vestibular then here is the simple definition, "The vestibular system, which contributes to balance in most mammals and to the sense of spatial orientation, is the sensory system that provides the leading contribution about movement and sense of balance." (Founded on Wikipedia).
When a person who has suffered from an illness or disorder depending on what the cause is a person can have an imbalance causing them to sway, feeling as if they are swaying, they can't stand still without feeling like they are going to fall, a big room feels like the size of the universe, causes anxiety, etc. That is me. Lyme Disease caused this system to be off balance in me so now I'm in PT to rectify it.
I'm writing about my first day because I was truly inspired. From the conversation about God in the waiting room with a woman who is regaining strength again to walk, to the disabled woman who hasn't walked but is determined that she will. She is also graduating in 6 weeks with her Master Degree despite her disabilities. There was a spirit and energy in the rehab room that I didn't expect. Everyone in there was working towards getting better, their attitudes were positive, there was laughter and smiles. I'm blessed to be able to go to this particular center and get PT.
Today I did exercises that were once easy for me...stuff I used to do with my eyes closed in African dance class that I now do slowly. My physical therapist is pushing me because she has faith in me and is confident that by the time my physical therapy is over I will be running again on the tread mill.
We are working on retraining my brain. I have faith and belief that I will fully recover from this disease. After having to walk backwards, walk forward (heel toe), walking side ways all with a bar in front of me I became more determined that in the next couple of months I will be doing all of these exercises without a bar in front of me.
The last thing I did today was ride on a stationary bike for 10 minutes. That might not sound like a lot to some...but when one has lost muscle mass like me and is in recovery it's a big deal. I almost cried as I rode the bike and could feel my legs come back to life!
I encourage anyone reading this that if there is an obstacle in the way...and it looks impossible. Don't give up! I no longer say, "I hope I'm going to get better." Instead I say, "Oh...I WILL get better, no doubt about it!"
Pray on it...center yourself...ask for what you want and you will receive it.
Blessings to all and stay tuned for more about my journey.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Grateful
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| Drawing by Samax Amen |
- Having a closer relationship with God. I thought my relationship became closer after I lost my sister Ayana in 2007 and my Mom in 2010 but after the many trials I have faced I feel even closer to Him and more in line with all that He wants and needs me to do.
- My son means the world to me and I thank God for him everyday. He has seen me through some great moments and some dark and dismal times. We went from running in the park, going to African dance class, open mics to being in an IV room twice a week. He was with me 95% of the time in regards to coming with me to various appointments and his smile is contagious. No matter how I felt...he would look over at me and his smile would shine like the sun. Children are walking angels and I could not imagine my life without him.
- Surrounded by loving family and friends. Some went to many extremes to care for me and showed me that even in the darkest hour they would never leave me and I thank them for that always. I thank God for new friends that entered my life. He always plants people in your life when you need them and He will even remove folks who you don't need around. Their chapter in my book of life has ended and that is fine. Folks go down different paths and through prayer I have learned to accept it.
- My medical team is dynamic and full of faith! It's one thing to have a good doctor...it's another to have great doctors that truly care about you. Ones that will email and call just to see if I am okay and have seen me in the deepst part of the woods and now helping me recover as I am exiting out of the wilderness. They are blessings and I love each of them.
- Through these trying times I have had a job. Thankful for employment during this economy. I've been guilty of complaining but to have a job and great benefits is amazing during these times.
- God does answer prayers...and He has and still is answering mine daily. I'm so grateful for His love and for my healing to take place and the restoration. It's only a matter of time before I am totally restored.
- Call me Joseph from the bible. My dreams have been very vivid and to see some of them come to life or to see what is ahead for us in the future makes me excited. It's a gift...not everyone has the gift of sight through dreams or believes in it...well I do and God I say thank you. As my pastors said, "The best is yet to come."
- My beautiful church home, Ebenezer AME in Ft. Washington, MD. There are not enough words to describe how much I love my church family. They are a praying church and every time I go, people are praying for us...make us feel welcome, have helped us financially, you name it...they were there. I can't wait to become a member of a couple of ministries so I can pay it forward and help others.
- The Healing Well forum...that is a second family to me. We will all beat this horrid Lyme Disease. I'm grateful to have made friendships, met a few in person and we help each other out through advice, a shoulder to cry on, drive each other to appointments, doctor referrals and have done it all with love! I love the ones who are healed that come back to share their testimonies!!!! Y'all are awesome!
- To my heavenly ancestors that have passed away and watch over us every minute of the day. I have a powerhouse ancestor team up there. My parents are always with us...next to us. They watch over my son when he is sleeping and when we are away from one another. All of my ancestors...I love you and as we say in the West African tradition, "Ase...Ase...Ase."
Labels:
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Monday, November 4, 2013
You Don't Know My Pain
You don't know my pain
Chronically ill for months
Feeling like I'm about to go insane
You don't know my pain
Crying out to God in the middle of the night
Asking Him to spare my life once again
Multiple issues clashing together
People not understanding brushing everything off
Family in denial because I'm always the health nut
Yet I feel so alone and in a rut
You don't know my pain
Suffering and in a financial strain
Waking up daily for months feeling drained
My circle of friends got smaller
Folks who I thought would be there bailed on a sister when I hollered
Neurological, physical to mental
This disease has wreaked harm on my body in an unfair way
I've cried out to God asking Him why am I going through
Relating to every word in the book of Job as he was tested too
Praying for a cure
A miracle
Not just for me but for many who are behind me
That will become sick with this devil disease called Lyme
People keep saying all in time
I will be healed
But when...
Whatever I need to do God please show the way
I'll do whatever you want but please have mercy on my soul and hear me as I pray
You don't know pain
I hope you will never know
As I became a victim to this disease
That hit me with a heavy blow
Live life while you have health
And don't be like me wondering...thinking...what if I had done this or that...
Remain prayerful despite your storms and never turn your back
On people like me
Because you never know if your number will be called
And if it is...trust me...you won't want to feel alone
Alone...
Alone...
You don't know my pain...
Written By: Serena T. Wills
June, 2013
Dedicated to Everyone Dealing and Healing from Lyme Disease and any Chronic Illness or Injury
Copyright 2013 (c) Serena Wills
All rights are reserved
Chronically ill for months
Feeling like I'm about to go insane
You don't know my pain
Crying out to God in the middle of the night
Asking Him to spare my life once again
Multiple issues clashing together
People not understanding brushing everything off
Family in denial because I'm always the health nut
Yet I feel so alone and in a rut
You don't know my pain
Suffering and in a financial strain
Waking up daily for months feeling drained
My circle of friends got smaller
Folks who I thought would be there bailed on a sister when I hollered
Neurological, physical to mental
This disease has wreaked harm on my body in an unfair way
I've cried out to God asking Him why am I going through
Relating to every word in the book of Job as he was tested too
Praying for a cure
A miracle
Not just for me but for many who are behind me
That will become sick with this devil disease called Lyme
People keep saying all in time
I will be healed
But when...
Whatever I need to do God please show the way
I'll do whatever you want but please have mercy on my soul and hear me as I pray
You don't know pain
I hope you will never know
As I became a victim to this disease
That hit me with a heavy blow
Live life while you have health
And don't be like me wondering...thinking...what if I had done this or that...
Remain prayerful despite your storms and never turn your back
On people like me
Because you never know if your number will be called
And if it is...trust me...you won't want to feel alone
Alone...
Alone...
You don't know my pain...
Written By: Serena T. Wills
June, 2013
Dedicated to Everyone Dealing and Healing from Lyme Disease and any Chronic Illness or Injury
Copyright 2013 (c) Serena Wills
All rights are reserved
Friday, April 20, 2012
Grace
I don't think I'm done with this poem yet but wanted to share...peace.
God you have cleaned up my mess
As I've steadily stressed
About things I can't fix
Grace
Is always given even when I can't erase
My woes and challenges
Running in this race
Called life
I've been through strife
Emotional damage
Yet you always seem to manage
To give me grace and mercy
Times when I don't think I deserve it
Constantly showered on me from heavens above
Continuous love
Surrounding me
Beginning to remember that I have to lean on the word
Trust the unseen
Know that times might be tough
And I alone can't fix all things
Because I'm on a level that's humanly
Thank you God for Grace and Mercy
Copyright 2012
God you have cleaned up my mess
As I've steadily stressed
About things I can't fix
Grace
Is always given even when I can't erase
My woes and challenges
Running in this race
Called life
I've been through strife
Emotional damage
Yet you always seem to manage
To give me grace and mercy
Times when I don't think I deserve it
Constantly showered on me from heavens above
Continuous love
Surrounding me
Beginning to remember that I have to lean on the word
Trust the unseen
Know that times might be tough
And I alone can't fix all things
Because I'm on a level that's humanly
Thank you God for Grace and Mercy
Copyright 2012
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